Should I Stay or Should I Go Now?

[Mr. Lucky]

I guess nesting is a whole new discussion though.

 

Wow, that's as far from "she'd take the kids and move to Florida" as you can get.

 

How would each of your personal lives after divorce work under this scenario? It would be easier to tell a date you lived in your parent's basement than the ex-wife's ...

 

Mr. Lucky

[AR121]

Oh god... I've thought of that. But, it's just temporary.

 

That is what I did say to her, we do need a clear division on who maintains what and does what house work.

 

It is far from that! She is terrified. After we had that talk I saw a huge burden lifted from her. Our daughter rated the plan 10 out of 10.

[desertfunguy]

Hi,

 

Instead of nesting in and building a bathroom, wouldn't a 2 bedroom apartment work well for a time period? If you are thinking of some temporary time to let her go back to work, then they could stay in the house. I don't know what rents are where you live, but if it is affordable this will give you some separation time as well to start dating and explore some life. It is also a place for the kids to hang out with you. I would not even consider this nesting in idea. I think it would confuse the kids and end up being painful.

 

I know you are already on the road to this thing. I know the wife talked with the MC, but has she done heavy therapy for the issue with the abortion? Is she certain that with medical therapy and psych services, that she cannot move past this? It seems like something that is identifiable and maybe something that could be managed. You guys may be beyond that place, but I thought I should ask.

 

I hope things go well and you feel better.

[AR121]

Hi,

 

Instead of nesting in and building a bathroom, wouldn't a 2 bedroom apartment work well for a time period? If you are thinking of some temporary time to let her go back to work, then they could stay in the house. I don't know what rents are where you live, but if it is affordable this will give you some separation time as well to start dating and explore some life. It is also a place for the kids to hang out with you. I would not even consider this nesting in idea. I think it would confuse the kids and end up being painful.

 

I know you are already on the road to this thing. I know the wife talked with the MC, but has she done heavy therapy for the issue with the abortion? Is she certain that with medical therapy and psych services, that she cannot move past this? It seems like something that is identifiable and maybe something that could be managed. You guys may be beyond that place, but I thought I should ask.

 

I hope things go well and you feel better.

 

It's a good question to ask. It is identifiable, but it's not in her and not in me at this point. Unfortunately, I do think she needs time to try and manage her own life. She has so many regrets, besides the abortion. Career, education, child rearing, choice of mate, travel. Before we did get married, I did often think she would get older, have regrets and want to either leave or change her situation. That was something I kept to myself and only recently told her I thought this. I wish I had told her sooner. Maybe she would have thought about life a bit more.

 

As far as a 2 bedroom, as long as she's not really contributing in a significant way, the best I could swing is a one bedroom. I thought about that and it is the back-up plan if this doesn't work. Though how that affects my ability to have a better custody deal, I'm not sure and I need to ask the attorney about that before the agreement is signed.

 

Thank you for your thoughts though. I'm not sure if this will work, but it's probably the best option for myself, her and the kids at this point. Because I really can not continue my present course of faking a relationship.