Author klegacy Posted November 7, 2016 Author Share Posted November 7, 2016 I stood my ground even more so. I stopped being Mr Nice Guy. I made it very clear that the agreement needs to be done and divorce moved up on the grounds of her adultery, and threatened court if I have to. I'm absolutely livid right now but I'm glad to have finally stood up for myself. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 Feels good doesn't it? Good for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 Give her a date and stick to it. If you waiver or back down you lose. She'll try and sweet talk her way out of it I suspect. It'll just be more lies and an attempt to keep playing and stringing you along. Keep your evidence for proof. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 IMO keep a VAR on you at all times. Link to post Share on other sites
Author klegacy Posted November 7, 2016 Author Share Posted November 7, 2016 We don't talk in person, nor on the phone (though she tried to call me several times today and I declined the call every time). She's in this illusion that what she's done/has been doing, doesn't have any grounds for consequence. And I suspect that she will try to counter attack with something worse. But at least I've said my peace. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted November 8, 2016 Share Posted November 8, 2016 Hi Klegacy, good to know you are holding your ground. Are you lawyering up? It will be good for you to have legal protection and for you to route all communication through your lawyer so as to protect yourself legally in case your wife tries to pull something unpleasant on you. Your wife really takes the cake! I just don't get it as to how someone who has been so close to his or her SO. can turn into a devil of sorts and turn on them. The only analogy I can think of is cancer where the cells of one's own body turn against one and become a dreaded enemy to be carved out of one's body to protect one from further harm. Here's wishing you all the very best as you go forward. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted November 8, 2016 Share Posted November 8, 2016 She seems like a narcissist or a sociopath. If so, she will never take accountability for her actions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author klegacy Posted November 8, 2016 Author Share Posted November 8, 2016 I have to agree with you there. She's always worried about the outward appearance of herself and her life. Takes her several hours to get ready for work. And she has a desperate need for everyone to think she's perfect and does no wrong. I haven't had much communication with lawyers lately because I've been waiting for the agreement, but if anything comes my way, I will be prepared. I also don't understand it either - She was my best friend, my wife, my partner in life. The drastic turn she made, I'll never get a real reason for, but it doesn't change how shocking it was. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted November 8, 2016 Share Posted November 8, 2016 This is who she is now. Not seeing that or waiting for who you thought she was to show back up has put you in a distinc disadvantage. You must deal with the here and now. Many are baffled by the why? Most never get an answer. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author klegacy Posted November 8, 2016 Author Share Posted November 8, 2016 This is who she is now. Not seeing that or waiting for who you thought she was to show back up has put you in a distinc disadvantage. You must deal with the here and now. Many are baffled by the why? Most never get an answer. Yeah, I definitely understand that. It was difficult, pining for someone who didn't really exist. But now I know better. No More Mr Nice Guy! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted November 14, 2016 Share Posted November 14, 2016 Progress??? You should start to see yourself detach if you're no contact. Any way you can prove and go the adultery route with the new info? Link to post Share on other sites
Author klegacy Posted November 14, 2016 Author Share Posted November 14, 2016 Progress??? You should start to see yourself detach if you're no contact. Any way you can prove and go the adultery route with the new info? I basically told her that if she's continuing down this road and has intention of living with the OM, that she needs to sign the separation agreement and grant me the divorce under terms of her adultery before she makes that move. She tried to say that she wasn't/hadn't cheated, but she did, and she knows she did. Apparently she hadn't even bothered to bring the agreement to her lawyer, even though she was given it months ago. Not sure why she's suddenly dragging her feet. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 14, 2016 Share Posted November 14, 2016 I basically told her that if she's continuing down this road and has intention of living with the OM, that she needs to sign the separation agreement and grant me the divorce under terms of her adultery before she makes that move. She tried to say that she wasn't/hadn't cheated, but she did, and she knows she did. So what do you plan to do if she doesn't continue down that road and live with OM? Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted November 14, 2016 Share Posted November 14, 2016 You maybe able to file ic you have done decent proof Link to post Share on other sites
Author klegacy Posted November 14, 2016 Author Share Posted November 14, 2016 So what do you plan to do if she doesn't continue down that road and live with OM? I told her I would take her to court if that happened without signage. For adultery, for instability (involving our son in her relationship right away), for slandering me to justify her actions, etc. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted November 14, 2016 Share Posted November 14, 2016 What was her reaction. I bet she's not used to the new you is she? Link to post Share on other sites
Author klegacy Posted November 14, 2016 Author Share Posted November 14, 2016 What was her reaction. I bet she's not used to the new you is she? After saying all I said, I told her not to contact me anymore unless it was involving our son. Her only response after all of it was "sure thing". And there hasn't been any conversation since, besides discussing son's health. On a side note, I ran into her mom the other day, first time seeing her since everything happened. She gave me a long hug and told me she still thinks I'm a great guy. So that's nice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted November 14, 2016 Share Posted November 14, 2016 Probably doesn't know the truth. Perhaps you should inform her. Ask her to tell her daughter to do the right thing and sign off on the divorce papers. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted November 14, 2016 Share Posted November 14, 2016 Maybe it'll get the stbxw moving. You don't have a lot to lose here. Link to post Share on other sites
aurelius99 Posted November 14, 2016 Share Posted November 14, 2016 An ex-wife or ex-gf hooking up with a best friend is their ultimate way of saying FU. For some reason women do this more than men. Link to post Share on other sites
Author klegacy Posted November 14, 2016 Author Share Posted November 14, 2016 Probably doesn't know the truth. Perhaps you should inform her. Ask her to tell her daughter to do the right thing and sign off on the divorce papers. That would require me reaching out to her mom. Likely, it wouldn't matter what I say, as her daughter is her daughter, no matter what. I tried telling her mom once, when it all first happened, and never got a response. I'm giving it a week, if I don't hear anything by Friday, I'm pushing for the papers/divorce again. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 I basically told her that if she's continuing down this road and has intention of living with the OM, that she needs to sign the separation agreement and grant me the divorce under terms of her adultery before she makes that move. She tried to say that she wasn't/hadn't cheated, but she did, and she knows she did. Apparently she hadn't even bothered to bring the agreement to her lawyer, even though she was given it months ago. Not sure why she's suddenly dragging her feet. Because she just doesn't care - and she really doesn't intend to make it easy on you. Are you paying for anything now? Is she motivated perhaps - by something you're paying for? If that's the case- don't allow her access to any money and don't pay a thing. I'm unsure why you're not getting it signed TODAY. Show up at 8 or 9 at night - unannounced. Take her a new copy and tell her you're not leaving until she signs it. Be prepared to wait... but don't leave without her signing. Stop allowing her to yank your chain for one more day. Yes, that's what she's doing and she knows it pisses you off. Be done with her -sooner is better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 Hi klegacy, can you not proceed with the divorce unilaterally? Why do you have to have her sign separation or divorce papers? Just file and have her served? Maybe I am missing something. I am not very familiar with divorce procedures especially in the US. I thought it was a straightforward procedure. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author klegacy Posted November 16, 2016 Author Share Posted November 16, 2016 Papers need to be signed because they state custody, child support, division of property, etc. And I'm Canadian, divorce proceedings are a bit different. You have to be legally separated for a year before they process divorce, unless there is concrete proof of, or someone admits to, abuse or adultery. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted November 16, 2016 Share Posted November 16, 2016 I'm normally not a fan of nuclear exposure but in your case maybe a well written letter of "Wife is in an affair with John Doe". You want out of the marriage so sign the paperwork I want to "set you free". Post it on Facebook. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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