Wife Left for Best Friend

[BaileyB]

If it's bedbugs, you child will transfer them to your home and then it will be very expensive and you will have a very difficult time trying to get rid of them.

 

In addition to everything else that's going on, this is not good! Bedbugs are a nightmare - definitely take this very, very seriously.

[AdamantyumKrystal]

You already figured it out she is a sociopath who only wants to make you suffer and enjoy it to the maximum!

 

WHAT IS STILL HOLDING YOU BACK?! your kindness? the fact that you're a good person and with high principles and good morals? Well, NEWSFLASH!! She doesn't care about that, she doesn't care about anything but to hurt you and make you suffer, I will try to summarise it in the best way i can: If you act like a puppy you will be treated like a puppy, if you act like a Wolf you will be respected/feared like a wolf.

 

You're not a dumb person, you're pretty smart , i mean CMO'N MAN, you managed to find this site (which btw is the best forum about this stuff online) ,but the only problem is that you still did not took your rose colored glasses off. YOu are kind and you have very much good in you, but in order to survive you sometimes have to let the "bad wolf" in you OUT!

 

Wake up kleg! SHe is not loving you , she never did, SHE is a motherfreaking PREDATOR who preys on you like a BLack Widow on a lil fly caught in her web.

 

YOu wondered how could she do this to you right? WEll, it's no surprise now that her Empathy switch is turned OFF,sooo like you, some years ago i was in the same situation with my ex-gf, she left me for my best-friend and they both stabbed me in the back while appearing like "friends" in the front, they we're hiding their "affair" and it was pretty awful.

 

LIKE YOU i have asked myself "How could she do this to me? WHy DID SHE DO THIS TO ME? Why did THEY do this to me"? DOn't they feel any remorse at all? ARE THEY NOT SORRY FOR WHAT THEY ARE DOING? DOn't they see how HURT I AM AND how much pain i am in? Why don't they stop ? How is it possible for any human being to do this to other human beings??

 

THese kind of questions were running thru my head constantly. It took me 9 months total to get over it. I had to battle with depression which included , being unable to sleep, not craving food at all, no ability to FOCUS at all, crying for several months everyday,feeling neglected like you are feeling now, starting to doubt my so called "friends" who start to sympathise with these 2 betrayers , living their life like nothing happened, like what they did to me was normal and that I "DESERVED" it, throwing fault at me and making me feel worthless,unlovable,ugly,stupid every-kind of negative adjective.

 

Well guess what? I was in your shoes for more time than you are now and as i continued wondering how could they feel no remorse and not care about my pain, how is it possible for anyone to turn off their empathy?

 

I will tell you what i did, and this is what you will do if you are a smart guy

I started reading psychology like a mad-crusader looking for the holy grail,Also that was the time when i found about Loveshack and thanks to the beautiful community which opened my eyes about half and gave me advices, i started seeing them traitors for what they truly were, 2 malevolent beings who didn't give a crap about meh, after more insight from Loveshack and studying every article and information about psychology especially about sociopathy,psychopaths and borderlines i started to put the puzzle togheder piece by piece and i finally threw the rose-colored empathy glasses out the window!

 

After much crying , self-hating,feeling sorry for myself and feeling like no-one understands the pain i am in, i managed unconciously to turn those feeling of empathy "off",at least for a certain period of time, That is when is when i completely removed them from my life, NC and blocking them everywhere, slowly i started to see who and what those "friends" really we're so i started unfriending them one by one until a very few 3 or 4 select close-friends remained in the circle.

 

Now after i managed to throw out all the "trash" out of my life i could see things more clearly, i saw that people are evil, that most of them don't care about me or anybody only for themselves, and well, as a Scorpio i am , i didn't took very light-heartedly what happened, you know what they say about a scorpio's revenge, right? ^^

 

Instead of focusing on them and theyr "fairy tale" i started creating my own fairy tail, slowly regaining my old-self back and starting to enjoy my hobbies again, in simple words.. I STARTED LOVING MYSELF AGAIN( and much more than i did before:3 )

 

Well after i totally blocked them and cut ties with them (finally) i felt free, i started talking with other girls, and somehow become more calculated and callous,cold towards anybody or anything that tried hurting me. The urge to revenge on both of them was huge but somehow i managed to suppress that desire , and well, not surprinsing but after a few months they separated(one year and a half later he came apologising to me).So everything went as planned.

 

I was just like you man, i would've never imagined my life without her, she was my ultimate happines, my sweet-coated princess,my everything! I could've never stop loving her( or so i thought back then), But look at me now, Living my life to the fullest, Talking with a much better girl than my ex was, a girl so great i could've never dreamt i would have a chance with, But you know how all of this happened? I evolved from a poor silly beta nice guy i was to a Alpha which needless to say changed my life completely, but this kind of new "alpha-me" had more advantages than i thought, i started getting respect and attention from everyone not just the females, my family, my friends, my acquintances, everybody is appreciating what i had become now,

 

I stopped wasting all of my time in front of the pc playing video games, i started exercising, learning new stuff, becoming a better me, reading books, science, everything, i followed my passions beyond my dreams and i have become so much more than i ever thought i will .

 

Guess who came crawling back? My ex-bestfriend who did the betrayal! he is now with another girl and asking me for advice everytime we talk.

 

Maybe she loved you maybe she did not, but for certain is now that she is your enemy not who you think/thought she is! and let me ask you! HOW DO YOU TREAT YOUR ENEMY? you let her step all over you? you are so much better than them pal, you have loyalty , you have kindness, you have good empathy, you can LOVE! Start respecting yourself,throw your low-self esteem out the window and become the MAN YOU ENVY , become one of those guys you are jelous, the ones you see in magazines, fancy-dressed,muscular, and with that large wide white smile on their faces, glancing with that seducting look in their eyes, and most important do not Ever let anyone treat you like a toy again!

 

You are a MAN and you should act like one! A possible outcome would be your ex starting to be attracted to you again, to your "alpha-ness", Yea chicks love that so much, Once you start treat her like the garbage she is and see how awesome your life is without her, she will very second-think everything she has done till now, and start questioning her decision, but i do not think you will want her back after all the fuss she created by then, im telling you, you will be such a changed man.. you will be amazed ^_^

 

What i've written here is a short version but there is so much more to say,there is only need for people to listen :3

 

If you want more tips on how to become a stronger man, well you know how to P.M. me don't you?

Hope you will read what i've written and start applying for once in yo' life!

 

GOod luck with everything kleg,God Bless! ^^

Edited March 3, 2017 by AdamantyumKrystal

[AdamantyumKrystal]

And one more thing.. which i forgot to say. Stop being the victim, i know you are the victim, everybody here knows it, but.. just STOP IT! the only way she will start respecting you again, not just her but everybody is to be IN CONTROL! use the authority GOD gave you as a man!

 

Act like you're superior to her, even if you're not right now but slowly u will become, i can promise you that, do not let any day slip by you without learning something new and becoming a better man.

 

The reason she is toying with you so easy right now is because you don't wanna hurt her.. a part of you still loves her,well if you really love her that much than act like a MAN who is not afraid of "disciplining" his wife, She is not your wife anymore? Who cares?! You don't give a crap about what she thinks now,You are not afraid of her! SHe is afraid of you! You are not afraid of showing her how wrong she is for leaving you, you are not afraid of showing her how stupid she is and UNDERLINE the mistakes she did and is DOING right now! and most of all you do not give any single CARE about her opinion or words,you just say what you have to say and let her talk to a WALL made of BRICKS, even worse, you leave her in a cliffhanger and leave the room or walk away after you finnish what you have to say.YOu do not give her any single chance of trying to manipulate you or abuse you again, you MUST put her in a place and show her where she belongs!

once you start acting like you don't need HER or anyone to survive , you WILL become that someone! Stop being a doormat stop being a wuss and let the "BEAR" out!

 

Now don't misinterpret, don't stop arguing with her or yell at her or become violent, nope! but instead think very well before answering her questions or abusive methods, you have to switch places, she must become the prey and you must be the predator, If you don't do that, you will never have a chance with her again ( if u still want that), and not only that but you will never evolve or become better.. For your own good i'm asking you to stop letting her control you, stop Stop STOP!

 

My heart goes with you .. i was in a very very similar situation like you except i had no kids but that doesn't change the facts. As pathethic as i was but it didn't stopped me from changing into what i am now, as i did it, i am 100 % certain you can do it too!

 

Be super-confident (cocky even ) , Act cold,ice-cold and do not let them see any trace of fear,sadness,or any weakness in you. Try to be the best, become the best and and ultimately you will be Irreplaceable.

Edited March 3, 2017 by AdamantyumKrystal

[Just a Guy]

Hi Adam, excellent advice for Klegacy. If he becomes the man you have pictured for him his ex wife will be flattened. She will regret all the days of her life for leaving him. Women like men who are strong and who respect themselves. Actually, when I first started reading your post I thought you were a lady what with your avatar etc. I sincerely hope Klegacy takes your advice seriously.

 

Klegacy, I want to recommended a book for you to read which is titled ' Psycho-Cybernetics' by Dr. Maxwell Maltz. If your practice the principles laid out in the book it will completely change you from a poor specimen of your self into a new and attractive powerhouse of the man you were meant to be. Try and get it from your neighbourhood library or you can order a paperback edition from Amazon. Hope you are doing well. Warm wishes.

[klegacy]

Thank you guys for providing your input. I appreciate it and will take it all into consideration.

 

Finally after all this time, I received her version of the separation agreement. She is trying to take custody, every penny I have, and drown me in debt she doesn't want to be responsible for. This is unreal.

[Marc878]

Thank you guys for providing your input. I appreciate it and will take it all into consideration.

 

Finally after all this time, I received her version of the separation agreement. She is trying to take custody, every penny I have, and drown me in debt she doesn't want to be responsible for. This is unreal.

 

In this day and age you'll get 50/50 custody and not having been married long she'll only get what the law allows.

 

All YOU have to do is stand up for yourself. Let your attorney handle it.

 

IMO you missed a big opportunity at not turning her into child services. Not to mention the welfare of your child.

 

The best thing for you is a hard 180.

 

Why? Because she enjoys playing you. Cut her off except short texts, child only.

[KBob]

Thank you guys for providing your input. I appreciate it and will take it all into consideration.

 

Finally after all this time, I received her version of the separation agreement. She is trying to take custody, every penny I have, and drown me in debt she doesn't want to be responsible for. This is unreal.

 

Tell her good luck with all of that, it won't work.

 

I just finished reading through this thread, and I must say job well done, my friend. Seeing the transition you've made from being a doormat to growing an iron set of balls on you is quite impressive, well done. I'm sorry that this is happening to you but I must say I'm enjoying this thread purely for how much her lack of control and your happiness is driving her crazy! Well done!

 

As for her opinions of you and your actions: she is so emotionally imbalanced and devoid of any sense of morality that her opinion should not be valid to you; it is completely detached from any form of reality. You should be bulletproof to this crazy woman's words.

 

Keep doing what you're doing and you'll get through this and come out ahead of her.

 

And a shout out to the people that have been helping him through this, because your help has been working for him.

[Just a Guy]

Hi Klegacy, what does your lawyer have to say about her separation agreement? I hope you have a lawyer worth his/her salt. He/ she should give you advice like a stinger missile ready to blow up your wife's inflated dreams of sucking you dry. If not change your lawyer. He/ she is working on your retainer. You should get value for every cent you shell out!

 

Also do not open your self up to any verbal abuse from your wife. Keep a VAR whenever you have to confront her, on your person and record everything she has to say. Do not let her call the shots. Whenever she starts ripping into you tell her you don't have to listen to her rubbish and just walk away. Better still smile to her face and tell her to repeat that to her boyfriend and then walk away. Give her back as good as you get but only by displaying the right attitude. Do not say anything that she can quote and show you up in a bad light. Warm wishes.

[klegacy]

My lawyer didn't even read it. Just sent it to me and asked me to see if I was okay with basically getting bulldozed. I'm trying to find a new lawyer who will actually help me.

[klegacy]

I finally have a law firm willing to actually put the work in to help me. And I called social services yesterday about the continuous bug issue, so I'm now waiting to hear back from them.

 

I will be glad when this is all over. I honestly wish I could just have my son 100% of the time. She's a toxic, narcissistic sociopath and I worry for his well being.

 

Rose coloured glasses have been taken off, finally. I think the outrageous, aggressive crap she tried to put in her agreement finally tipped the scales in that respect. All I want now is a peaceful life with my kid, away from her crazy.

[Just a Guy]

Hi klegacy, good for you. Keep up that spirit. You will get to where you want to go. Warm wishes.

[Jersey born raised]

Hire a lawyer who advises you on how to get what you want and will work to make it happen. Do not hire a lawyer who tells you what the law is, so you are stuck.

 

For example custody, how is custody determined? Best interest of the child is usually the gold standard. So what are the best interest of the child in the courts view point?

[Purepony]

Good job my friend

We're all cheering for you

[Sweetfish]

I finally have a law firm willing to actually put the work in to help me. And I called social services yesterday about the continuous bug issue, so I'm now waiting to hear back from them.

 

I will be glad when this is all over. I honestly wish I could just have my son 100% of the time. She's a toxic, narcissistic sociopath and I worry for his well being.

 

Rose coloured glasses have been taken off, finally. I think the outrageous, aggressive crap she tried to put in her agreement finally tipped the scales in that respect. All I want now is a peaceful life with my kid, away from her crazy.

 

 

Remember that video I sent you a while back Klegacy.

 

This is EXACTLY what I wanted you to see. Now you know what your dealing with...make sure these traits DO NOT get past on to your sons. Because it cannot be undone.

 

Also, see if the lawyer can get her checked for personality disorders.. this will help your case.

[NTV]

I'm glad you are fighting for custody. Good mothers don't destroy their kid's family.

[Marc878]

I finally have a law firm willing to actually put the work in to help me. And I called social services yesterday about the continuous bug issue, so I'm now waiting to hear back from them.

 

I will be glad when this is all over. I honestly wish I could just have my son 100% of the time. She's a toxic, narcissistic sociopath and I worry for his well being.

 

Rose coloured glasses have been taken off, finally. I think the outrageous, aggressive crap she tried to put in her agreement finally tipped the scales in that respect. All I want now is a peaceful life with my kid, away from her crazy.

 

I hope so for your sake.

 

Make no mistake she will destroy you, your future, etc like she has destroyed your marriage and family if you don't stand up for yourself down get out of the victim/martyr mode. Woe is me won't get you out of this in one piece.

 

You'd better get and stay strong. You are in the fight for your life. No one is going to do this for you. You have to do it.

[Marc878]

Pull out all the stops and quit pulling your punches. You should have jumped all over the pest issue and protected your kid upfront. You're his father!!!!

 

You keep waiting for the wonderful angel you thought you married to show back up. She's told and shown you who she is. Why don't you believe her?

[Bluesandy]

Funny enough, that is what happened to me 4 years ago.. Except the good friend was hers... We came from planning our future, investing in big project to need space and then discover she left me to go with her best friend... and boss... I stayed with our 3 daughters who prefer to stay with me ;-) ...for a year, I was pretty confused, but went in the No contact zone right away after reading the advices given it that blog. I tried other GF, and after 4 years, I can tell you I have forgot her... I am I a 3 years relationship, my job is better than before, made new roject in life.... In her side, she was beaten by her jaleous boss after 4 months, and since, have not been in a position to stay in a relationship for more than 4 months... She is always at the same place... no change.. She tried a few times to reconnect with me but I tossed her away each time... My pleasure ;-) And you are right, the worse in the story is most of our common friends did as nothing has happened, and never blamed her In anyway. I tossed away also any single so called friends who support her and stayed with the ones who were scandalized as well... and made new friends... Life is always better that way.... it is hard in the beginning, but the winner will be you cause we always learn life from big situations. She didn't and thought she was right, so no reason to change for her.. Big mistake... so hang on, NC zone, split your friends, and make you a new life... and a better life.. She will be jaleous after a while.... good luck !

[klegacy]

Thanks all.

 

Lawyers are doing their work. I have been informing social services each time he shows up with bites.

 

I have a custody question/concern that I've posted a new thread about.

 

[new thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/separation-divorce/618947-midst-separation-divorce-custody-question ]

Edited March 28, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
added link to new thread ~6