NJ123 Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 I was chatting a bit with someone through online dating & then she mentioned saying she can't send pictures on the app since we were talking about our pets. Than I sent her my number saying she can send me to them that way. We only had a few back & forth messages though so I'm thinking she got turned off that I gave her my number so soon since I haven't heard from her in a few hours now since then. Would you personally get turned off by that? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 Not me, but I am nothing like average women. I am confident, I know what I want and I want it now. When I messaged my boyfriend online after a few minutes I am the one who gave him my phone number. I said I am into meeting someone, not into chatting on dating app. If he was interested in knowing more about me there was my phone number. He said he never came across a woman so forward, we've been dating 10 months. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 29, 2016 Share Posted August 29, 2016 'Let's meet up at xxx and you won't need to send me any pictures at all. Easy!' I remember the first, and only, lady I ever expressed that kind of interest in without seeing a picture of her, even going as far as making arrangements to meet her. Since I had the then new 'digital' camera, I sent her some pictures of myself. Evidently, that impelled her to figure out a way to scan a picture to send me. She ultimately became a very fondly remembered LTR. In person she put her picture to shame. Wow. Today, don't worry. If she wants to send you a picture, she can. She can also send you her number and invite you to contact her. The key is not attaching significant expectations to any particular act. It'll work out how it works out. Whenever possible try to handle things so you contact her to express interest or ask her to meet or on a date. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
scooby-philly Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 'Let's meet up at xxx and you won't need to send me any pictures at all. Easy!' I remember the first, and only, lady I ever expressed that kind of interest in without seeing a picture of her, even going as far as making arrangements to meet her. Since I had the then new 'digital' camera, I sent her some pictures of myself. Evidently, that impelled her to figure out a way to scan a picture to send me. She ultimately became a very fondly remembered LTR. In person she put her picture to shame. Wow. Today, don't worry. If she wants to send you a picture, she can. She can also send you her number and invite you to contact her. The key is not attaching significant expectations to any particular act. It'll work out how it works out. Whenever possible try to handle things so you contact her to express interest or ask her to meet or on a date. Couldn't agree with the last paragraph more!!!!! Online dating has only opened up a whole new world where people's expectations and interpretations of actions are all over the place. That's why I love reading the posts on here and also post when I'm confused about something. Bottom line - I don't think MOST women would be offended by what you did or take it the wrong way as long as you literally said what you wrote. However, it might turn her off a little if she's had a bad history with overly aggressive guys. If she can't give you a chance on that front then it wouldn't have worked out. Just wait and see what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 I wouldn't say it's a turnoff, but you do have to be prepared for a quicker rejection or whatever because doing it right away also means they have to make up their mind whether they want to use it right away or not. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Dis Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 I wouldn't say it's a turnoff, but you do have to be prepared for a quicker rejection or whatever because doing it right away also means they have to make up their mind whether they want to use it right away or not. This is true If she's interested it wont be a turn off at all...she'll be hapy to text you But if she's not....or on the fence....you wont hear from her again Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 I was chatting a bit with someone through online dating & then she mentioned saying she can't send pictures on the app since we were talking about our pets. Than I sent her my number saying she can send me to them that way. We only had a few back & forth messages though so I'm thinking she got turned off that I gave her my number so soon since I haven't heard from her in a few hours now since then. Would you personally get turned off by that? Hmmmmmm...I don't believe someone has ever stopped communicating with me b/c I gave out my number. But, then again, I don't do it right away. I usually wait after a few days of back and forth, consistent communication online. Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 If she's interested it wont be a turn off at all...she'll be happy to text you But if she's not....or on the fence....you wont hear from her again Yes, this so much. I've had a guy give me his number very quickly on and that turned me off. I am a very cautious person and would rather continue to converse with someone on that online dating site for at LEAST a few days before exchanging numbers. I'm sure there are exceptions, and things might have been different if I was more interested in the aformentioned guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Maybe she backed off because it got too personal when you did give your number......ya got friend zoned. Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 You have to remember that our phone numbers can reveal something about us. It does allow someone to invade our privacy if we're not careful, so she may have also been wary and/or protective of her privacy. Completely understandable. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted August 30, 2016 Author Share Posted August 30, 2016 Maybe she backed off because it got too personal when you did give your number......ya got friend zoned. I suppose so but she flat out mentioned she can't send pictures on the dating app so I just gave her my number. I saw that she was on the dating app again since her mileage location changed so obviously she saw my message & I guess doesn't want to talk to me anymore now. It's possible she could have sent something & I didn't get it though since my phone been having some problems getting picture messages lately. Should I contact her once more to see what she says or just move on? And if I should what should I message her with? Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Peach Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 You have to remember that our phone numbers can reveal something about us. It does allow someone to invade our privacy if we're not careful, so she may have also been wary and/or protective of her privacy. Completely understandable. For the tech savvy there are ways around this now like Google Voice and VOIP. Much more difficult to trace. I suppose so but she flat out mentioned she can't send pictures on the dating app so I just gave her my number. I saw that she was on the dating app again since her mileage location changed so obviously she saw my message & I guess doesn't want to talk to me anymore now. It's possible she could have sent something & I didn't get it though since my phone been having some problems getting picture messages lately. Should I contact her once more to see what she says or just move on? And if I should what should I message her with? I would have been fine with a guy giving me his number. I would have just responded with mine if I was interested and waited for the man to make the next step. If you think your phone ate it it won't hurt to reach out one more time but it could be a rejection. Don't do it anymore than that though unless you want to come off as creepy. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Yeah, you'll start to look like the gasping goldfish outside the bowl if you push that too hard. Usually tech and our devices work, so just assume she got your messages and blew them off. My guess is she didn't necessarily think you were a creep by giving her your number early but wasn't comfy w the implications of sharing hers. Not me, but I am nothing like average women. I am confident, I know what I want and I want it now. This is hot - love it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
grays Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Gaeta, again, your stories and maybe your current relationship in particular, gives me hope! I have no problem w exchanging phone numbers early if I'm interested. I find the messaging on tinder and okc annoying, PoF is the worst. I'd rather just text. I have given my number out on those sites about a bazillion times. Or maybe closer to about 200 times, I'd guess. And I have had one negative experience with it. One guy that I gave my number to over a year ago now and then decided not to meet is still calling me and sometimes calls from other numbers so I don't know it's him. It's annoying but I just hang up on him right away. It's the price of doing business, as far as I'm concerned. I've had a lot of great things happen thru OLD, so I'm ok with a little annoyance like that. I think if someone's too uptight about sharing a phone number or something like that, they probably aren't right for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Not me, but I am nothing like average women. I am confident, I know what I want and I want it now. When I messaged my boyfriend online after a few minutes I am the one who gave him my phone number. I said I am into meeting someone, not into chatting on dating app. If he was interested in knowing more about me there was my phone number. He said he never came across a woman so forward, we've been dating 10 months. Nice. Women like yourself do not mind the exchange. As I have nothing to hide and everything to reveal, give...I give it out for the ladies to accept or not. It's always their loss if they don't... Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Depends, how old are the two of you? Link to post Share on other sites
fmfan08 Posted August 31, 2016 Share Posted August 31, 2016 Not me, but I am nothing like average women. I am confident, I know what I want and I want it now. When I messaged my boyfriend online after a few minutes I am the one who gave him my phone number. I said I am into meeting someone, not into chatting on dating app. If he was interested in knowing more about me there was my phone number. He said he never came across a woman so forward, we've been dating 10 months. Girls seem worried about being forward and looking "desperate". But if a girl acted like you did, I wouldn't assume that and be sure that she's confident in what she wants. That's something I like in a girl. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted August 31, 2016 Share Posted August 31, 2016 (edited) I was chatting a bit with someone through online dating & then she mentioned saying she can't send pictures on the app since we were talking about our pets. Than I sent her my number saying she can send me to them that way. We only had a few back & forth messages though so I'm thinking she got turned off that I gave her my number so soon since I haven't heard from her in a few hours now since then. Would you personally get turned off by that? I can't speak for her personally, so don't know her feelings on it. It's also hard to say sometimes because the entire feel of a conversation between two people says a lot and if you're not in it, you just don't know what other variables existed to influence the situation, esp given the relative few details here. If I was into the guy and did want to show him my pets and talk further it would be completely fine. If I wasn't into him or still not sure, then I might not want to feel like now I have his number, I have to give mine and might back a way a little. Remember, giving your number goes two ways, when she sends pics you will also have hers. She may not be ready to give you her number so soon so backed away. But I wouldn't worry about it though. I think most of that again comes back down to how much the person is interested and how ready they are. But for the future, you could say "well here's my number, no pressure, would love to see your pets sometimes." But this really depends, if it feels like a natural progression you don't have to say that, so you have to be the one to discern it. Edited August 31, 2016 by MissBee Link to post Share on other sites
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