harrietthespy Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 new to this and have never shared, but here goes. iam MOW and have been in a roller coaster type relationship for over 4yrs now. we had no intentions on leaving our current situation, we just enjoyed being with each other physically. we had an awkward frinedship, sometimes we could talk about anything and other times he didn't like this and said i was trying to be a part of his life and would stop talking to me as a friend and only text for sex. i think most of that is because he was affraid of admitting feelings. i was somewhat ok with that because thats how this started and thats what we both wanted. for the last year and a half he has been under rather extreme stress at home and work, self employed contractor, and has more than once said he just needs a time out to focus on his life. which i would be ok with, except, i have found his employees truck parked by his camper at night and im not stupid, i know he has slept with her, he likes sex and if he cheated on his wife, why would he be faithful to me...but he lies about it and says horrible things about this ow and i wonder how much she knows about me? does he say the same things to her that he is to me? i have tried to go NC but he is persistant and i give in, then he will twist things and tell me i need to back off and give him space, confusing...is it to have time for this ow? is he really trying to take time to figure out what to do or is he trying to figure out how to run game on all 3 women he is sleeping with? im lost because he says the sex with me is the best he has ever had, that its amazing, but yet i know he is sleeping with or at least has slept with another woman. our bodies fit together like hand and glove, i have never felt so physically pleased by any other lover in my life. my head says read the signs but my heart and cookie say let it go, do what you need to be with him. i use to be a very strong confident woman and now i wonder where the he#l she's at? if i were his only ow i would want to continue this but i cant help but know in the back of my mind that he lies to a woman he loves everyday, so lying to me is no big deal. how do i stop? do i need him to tell me about this ow in order for it to break me from this cycle? how do i move on if thats your advice? i think about him almost everyday, he was the only person that i could talk about anything to and dont forget the best lover of my life. what should i do and how do you suggest i do it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
imperfectangel Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 To me, his actions show he does not feel the same way you do. If you KNOW he is sleeping with at least two other women that shows you what kind of man he is. Have you had yourself checked? I would before you pass anything into your husband, assuming you haven't already. You are putting his health at risk too, not just your own 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author harrietthespy Posted August 30, 2016 Author Share Posted August 30, 2016 To me, his actions show he does not feel the same way you do. If you KNOW he is sleeping with at least two other women that shows you what kind of man he is. Have you had yourself checked? I would before you pass anything into your husband, assuming you haven't already. You are putting his health at risk too, not just your own yes im always safe and have always been tested. as far as sexual partners, there is myself. his wife and im assuming this employee he has around. and i dont know what he feels, trying to decide what my next step is, thats why i posted 1 Link to post Share on other sites
imperfectangel Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 If he's sleeping with other people you know how he feels. How do you feel? If this isn't something you are happy with then you need to move on 4 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 You won't get pulled back in the affair if you block his number and block him on other methods of contact. How do you know there's only one more OW? There could be more. He's not forcing you and if you really wanted it to stop, you can tell him your husband is asking questions and checking your phone, so he should not contact you, unless you contact him first. Then just don't contact him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 You can walk away, and block him on everything, whenever you want to. If you want to you will. If you don't want to, you won't. Nobody can make that decision for you. You have that power. Choose wisely. Take care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 It's karma why do you expect better than you give he's only doing to you what you're doing to your husband 5 Link to post Share on other sites
BuddyX Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 It's called push pull. Look it up. You think you're the best sex partner? He tells all the women that. Don't fool yourself. You can't be upset if you're nothing but a booty call. And why are you with your husband? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
malvern99 Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 I hope the irony of your situation is not lost on you harriet. You, a married woman are upset that your married boyfriend is sleeping with another woman. It would be funny if the consequences of your choices and behavior were not so stunningly tragic. What you ought to do is be honest with your husband, leave him, and then pursue your married boyfriend and try to keep him faithful to you. Good luck. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Where do you go from here? Straight to the clinic to be tested for std's. Geesh, an Affair Is supposed to be fun and exciting and an escape or a place to feel loved and many more positives that people build affairs around. Yours seems to be uncertain, push pull, hot cold, arm length distance, filled with other women, self esteem crushing. I mean, if your gonna betray your vows, all joking aside, shouldn't you at least be ENJOYING it? It is just such a gross position to be in to already be betraying your spouse but to be in total chaos and be upset 24/7. This has MORE than run its course. This guy is all about his d!@# and if your still participating when he needs a fix, great, if your not it seems he's got a blanket b, c, d, e....you get the picture. Your all in and suffering and he couldn't be more satisfied and will not be weighed down by your dissatisfaction. You either get on board and know your role and don't complain, or you get phased out and no tears will be she'd on his end he's all set. Is this what you signed up for? I hope not. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts