Been totally cut off ....

[Birdies]

Why wouldn't a friend of over 12 years want me?

 

So you were the other woman involved with her brother? She doesn't want to be friends anymore because she disapproves of what you did. Your mutual friends agree.

 

I'm in a similar position with a lot of friends (of 15+ years), after my husband and I split up after my affair came to light. Yeah it sucks and I miss them and I wish our friendship could survive this, but I recognize that this is one of many consequences of making poor decisions that hurt people. People are allowed to choose sides and write off their former friends. That is what has happened with you.

 

You should maybe see a therapist to help you work through these feelings.

Edited September 16, 2016 by Birdies

[stillafool]

Why wouldn't a friend of over 12 years want me?

 

Why do you think? You can answer this better than me. You know they don't want you around their family and friends because they've shown you this over and over again. They have moved on with their family life and probably don't think about you anymore. You have to reach that place with them. You are still thinking about them when you should be thinking about new plans with your new bf.

[stillafool]

Why wouldn't a friend of over 12 years want me?

 

Because she has moved on with a new sister in law and baby which are now her family. They don't want drama in their family. Your ex friend knows you are still hung up on her brother and it's best to keep you away from their family.

 

I can understand this because when one of my brothers married his wife; his ex gf; a previous friend of mine, couldn't get over him and I cut her lose to preserve my family. I didn't want her upsetting my new sister in law because SIL is now my family.

[Louisesarah]

So you were the other woman involved with her brother? She doesn't want to be friends anymore because she disapproves of what you did. Your mutual friends agree.

 

I'm in a similar position with a lot of friends (of 15+ years), after my husband and I split up after my affair came to light. Yeah it sucks and I miss them and I wish our friendship could survive this, but I recognize that this is one of many consequences of making poor decisions that hurt people. People are allowed to choose sides and write off their former friends. That is what has happened with you.

 

You should maybe see a therapist to help you work through these feelings.

 

The mutal friends no nothing.

She wouldn't tell them and ruin her brothers reputation of being a good man.

She's told them how I'm such a bad friend and no doubt what other lies she has told.

She hated me and her brother even being friends.

Her and her mother are nothing but control freaks..no wonder the brother is a total head case.

She wants me erased from her life because she is scared we will start talking again and something might happen.

She blames me for him hitting her.

We had all moved on..I told her I was happy with someone new and she didn't like it ..just like she tried to sabotage a relationship I had with another guy years ago by telling him I was seeing someone else

Whatever they are doing isn't for their "famly" it's for their own selfish reasons

[Louisesarah]

Because she has moved on with a new sister in law and baby which are now her family. They don't want drama in their family. Your ex friend knows you are still hung up on her brother and it's best to keep you away from their family.

 

I can understand this because when one of my brothers married his wife; his ex gf; a previous friend of mine, couldn't get over him and I cut her lose to preserve my family. I didn't want her upsetting my new sister in law because SIL is now my family.

 

That ain't the reason ...

[ShatteredLady]

You KNOW that they are completely screwed-up people! You do!!

 

You have listed so so so many awful things your "best friend" has done to you over the years. Just because you grow-up with someone & have some fun times does NOT make them a TRUE FRIEND!

 

The brother POS is an alcoholic, violent, abusive looser. He had sex with you while his partner was taking care of his NEW BORN BABY!! He stayed all night, drunk out of his head while she, a NEW MOTHER, was sat home stressing where he was.

 

These are NOT the kind of people that any self-respecting, decent, ADULT would want in her life in any way. They are toxic, manipulative, violent, drunken, scum!

 

PLEASE STOP THIS!!

 

I wrote something pretty similar the very first time you posted. I can't remember how old you are? I know that you're isolated & these people have been in your life for a very long time BUT.....

 

Oh PLEASE!!!!

[stillafool]

That ain't the reason ...

 

Whatever their reason it doesn't change the fact that they don't want you and the sooner you realize that the faster you can move on.

[Quiet Storm]

The mutal friends no nothing.

She wouldn't tell them and ruin her brothers reputation of being a good man.

She's told them how I'm such a bad friend and no doubt what other lies she has told.

She hated me and her brother even being friends.

Her and her mother are nothing but control freaks..no wonder the brother is a total head case.

She wants me erased from her life because she is scared we will start talking again and something might happen.

She blames me for him hitting her.

We had all moved on..I told her I was happy with someone new and she didn't like it ..just like she tried to sabotage a relationship I had with another guy years ago by telling him I was seeing someone else

Whatever they are doing isn't for their "famly" it's for their own selfish reasons

 

Since they are so bad, the smart thing to do is just completely detach. Why would you want a friend like the one you describe?

 

There are many dysfunctional and emotionally stunted people in this world. We can't help if our family is dysfunctional, but we can pick our friends and boyfriends.

[ShatteredLady]

Rejection is psychologically one of those weird things. To be rejected by anyone hurts a bit. You need to get to the mind set that they did you a favor!!! You needed rid of them & they're gone.

 

What's the problem?

[Louisesarah]

I'm sorry for seeming so defensive and crazy.

I'm getting myself wound up with people trying to paint them in a beautiful light pulling together for their family.

I know them and I don't think I even care that we won't be friends again I'm angry because they think they can do what they like and control people.

Yes me and her brother shouldn't of did anything but we did like each other and I know it was wrong and I regret it now because of his child etc.

That family have done so much to me in the years and I've forgiven them.

1.told the brother if he had anything to do with me it was incest as I'm like a sister.

2.she stole money out of my purse and stole money from my grandmother (some weekly pension money)

3.she reported me to the police saying I had witnessed a Child being assaulted

4.she set up a fake Facebook and told my then boyfriend I was cheating on him(lies he meant everything to me)

5. I was having problems with my heart and begged her to come to hospital and she refused and turned her phone off.

6.now after I finally moved on from her brother with someone,she tells me my new boyfriend will cheat on me and I'm best off ending things now.

 

She hates to see others happy,and she had a massive part to play in the whole me and her brother thing.

Telling us both Lies what each other said.

That's why she's blocked me and deleted me.

I know I'm better off without the lot,I just wish people would see them for what they are.

 

Her and her mother have slagged he's gf off saying he is with the wrong women and she makes him so unhappy blah blah

They hate her family.

 

They have 1 cousin who is on drugs,the other just got out of jail,the other is raising her sisters child pretending to be the mother.

You have a alcoholic sister who used to send them death threats.

Not exactly the waltons ..

[anika99]

I'm sorry for seeming so defensive and crazy.

I'm getting myself wound up with people trying to paint them in a beautiful light pulling together for their family.

I know them and I don't think I even care that we won't be friends again I'm angry because they think they can do what they like and control people.

Yes me and her brother shouldn't of did anything but we did like each other and I know it was wrong and I regret it now because of his child etc.

That family have done so much to me in the years and I've forgiven them.

1.told the brother if he had anything to do with me it was incest as I'm like a sister.

2.she stole money out of my purse and stole money from my grandmother (some weekly pension money)

3.she reported me to the police saying I had witnessed a Child being assaulted

4.she set up a fake Facebook and told my then boyfriend I was cheating on him(lies he meant everything to me)

5. I was having problems with my heart and begged her to come to hospital and she refused and turned her phone off.

6.now after I finally moved on from her brother with someone,she tells me my new boyfriend will cheat on me and I'm best off ending things now.

 

She hates to see others happy,and she had a massive part to play in the whole me and her brother thing.

Telling us both Lies what each other said.

That's why she's blocked me and deleted me.

I know I'm better off without the lot,I just wish people would see them for what they are.

 

Her and her mother have slagged he's gf off saying he is with the wrong women and she makes him so unhappy blah blah

They hate her family.

 

They have 1 cousin who is on drugs,the other just got out of jail,the other is raising her sisters child pretending to be the mother.

You have a alcoholic sister who used to send them death threats.

Not exactly the waltons ..

 

And yet just yesterday you said you didn't understand why everything couldn't just be brushed under the carpet and everyone just get back to being friends. This sounds nuts. If your ex friend is even half as bad as you say she is then you shouldn't want anything to do with her or anyone connected with her. Who in their right mind wants to be friends with anyone after they steal from your grandmother? Get a grip and move on.

[Louisesarah]

And yet just yesterday you said you didn't understand why everything couldn't just be brushed under the carpet and everyone just get back to being friends. This sounds nuts. If your ex friend is even half as bad as you say she is then you shouldn't want anything to do with her or anyone connected with her. Who in their right mind wants to be friends with anyone after they steal from your grandmother? Get a grip and move on.

 

I just got Lonely sometimes and having her was better than having nobody.

That's probably why I didn't end the friendship and continued to pay for meals out etc and bought her clothes.

[anika99]

You sound very young. When you get older you will realize that it's better to be lonely than be around people who use you or mistreat you.

[SoulCat]

The fact that you posted this thread in the Other Woman/Man forum rather than the Friendship one indicates you're still very hung up on the OM (your friends brother).

 

You - and him - caused their family harm. You are the easiest one to cut out, hence them and everyone in their circle will avoid you. That's just the consequence of your previous actions.

 

 

You say you have a new boyfriend now. Concentrate your energies on him.

Move forward, leave them be.

[Louisesarah]

The fact that you posted this thread in the Other Woman/Man forum rather than the Friendship one indicates you're still very hung up on the OM (your friends brother).

 

You - and him - caused their family harm. You are the easiest one to cut out, hence them and everyone in their circle will avoid you. That's just the consequence of your previous actions.

 

 

You say you have a new boyfriend now. Concentrate your energies on him.

Move forward, leave them be.

 

I posted on this forum because I posted on here previously and everyone knew my back-story.

I didn't want to start from the beginning and explain myself again.

 

We didn't cause the family harm because nobody knows about it but my friend who then blabbed to her mother as she can't be trusted.

The rest have chosen to avoid me with some bull lies given to them by her and the mother.

[ChickiePops]

I posted on this forum because I posted on here previously and everyone knew my back-story.

I didn't want to start from the beginning and explain myself again.

 

We didn't cause the family harm because nobody knows about it but my friend who then blabbed to her mother as she can't be trusted.

The rest have chosen to avoid me with some bull lies given to them by her and the mother.

 

So nobody in the family knows except most of them.

 

He is family. You are not. They will always take his side over yours. Time to move on and find some new friends.