phenix Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Hello, Long story short, my ex left me 2y ago and had a rebound which didn't last. We then split geographically. 7 months after breaking up, she came back into my life, we met, had a great and intimate time. Then back to no contact. From there on, she has been messaging me every 3 months, asking me to visit her, etc (which I refused to do, she should come to me if anything). I have progressively been moving on however. Last week she sent me a text, I simply ignored it. She followed up by email now and asks if we can talk. I know she has not been in a real relationship since she left me. She told me herself that she cant seem to meet anyone with who it just clicks like it does with me. (Unfortunately I haven't either) What does she want? Keeping me on the backburner? I am not sure what to respond to her. I planned on saying that I'm too busy to have that call she is asking for. I feel like I want to put zero efforts into this. If she regrets her decision, she will have to work her butt off to get my attention. And even then..... Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Take notice that maybe your behavior is what attracts her. So the more you're unreachable, the more she wants you. It seems you react exactly as you should. Ignoring her, answering briefly, refusing to visit, and so and so... If you want her to totally stop, ask her to stop. Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 From where I stand you met up with her, had a great and intimate time, and for no reason went back to no contact. If you didn't plan on being direct in where you stood perhaps you shouldn't have gotten together with her and sent mixed signals. She is probably trying to take it slow and possibly rebuild and its YOU who seems to have decided to no longer build on the possible second chance you opened the door to by meeting up with her and having that great intimate time. I don't think she is playing games, I think she is trying to play it cool and not push the issue and so if you want to be done and move on YOU need to say so. It's not as if you've said there's no chance and I've moved on, you've answered her communications and met up with her. If she's been honest she hadn't met anyone she liked and it felt natural with, then at least she isn't trying to come off like she's happy and men are pursuing and beating down her door and she is all that. It seems she is being frank and open with you, she learned, she tried, she realized your the one she feels is a fit. If you don't want her back, stop using her for ego strokes, it seems your the one playing games enjoying watching her chase you. How about YOU be the bigger person and call and be honest. Geez. Link to post Share on other sites
Author phenix Posted August 30, 2016 Author Share Posted August 30, 2016 From where I stand you met up with her, had a great and intimate time, and for no reason went back to no contact. If you didn't plan on being direct in where you stood perhaps you shouldn't have gotten together with her and sent mixed signals. She is probably trying to take it slow and possibly rebuild and its YOU who seems to have decided to no longer build on the possible second chance you opened the door to by meeting up with her and having that great intimate time. I don't think she is playing games, I think she is trying to play it cool and not push the issue and so if you want to be done and move on YOU need to say so. Apologies, I realize my initial post wasn't complete in terms of information. When she did visit me, I did let her know that being just friends doesn't feel right for me and she shut the door to a rekindling opportunity. Then she went back home and didn't reach out for a long time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author phenix Posted August 30, 2016 Author Share Posted August 30, 2016 Take notice that maybe your behavior is what attracts her. So the more you're unreachable, the more she wants you. It seems you react exactly as you should. Ignoring her, answering briefly, refusing to visit, and so and so... If you want her to totally stop, ask her to stop. It's funny, this is exactly what I did. Black on white I told her to stop as this is pointless since she just wants friendship. She said it made her sad but she understood. However she totally ignores that and keeps reaching out. Link to post Share on other sites
Bufo Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Tick, tick tock. Hear the biological clock. How old? You've had your fun with her begging. It's someone else's turn now. Let her go. I made the "let's watch this rerun"'mistake once. Turns out to be as much fun as a Gilligan or Lucy rerun. Definite waster of time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author phenix Posted August 30, 2016 Author Share Posted August 30, 2016 Tick, tick tock. Hear the biological clock. How old? You've had your fun with her begging. It's someone else's turn now. Let her go. I made the "let's watch this rerun"'mistake once. Turns out to be as much fun as a Gilligan or Lucy rerun. Definite waster of time. Mid 20s. She wanted to call me to know how Im doing. I said I cant right now but that im doing great. She said shes happy that Im well and that all she wanted to know. Weird. Link to post Share on other sites
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