alone

[Satu]

I married someone who I literally bumped into on the street.

[an0nym0us123]

Not just in love, but I find I have to put myself through some emotional turmoil to get the things that truly benefit me in the long run. You have to work for things, and when you get knocked back, get back up.

 

It doesn't sound like you're completely convinced you want a relationship, either that or you're comfortable with the status quo. You should at least be aware of what you can do to remedy your single status should you so desire.

It is scary, and being rejected hurts. I have trust issues and sometimes sabotage my chances at being close to someone to protect my comfortable single state of being. And it's nothing to do with an unhappy household growing up (parents are married 37 years), it's just me and my lack of confidence.

 

You might regret choosing to be alone in your more vulnerable years, so whilst you shouldn't force yourself into a relationship, keep an open mind. If you want it badly enough, you'll get it no matter what.

 

i am aware you have to work for things, ive had to work hard to get to the stage im at now, the work i do requires mega money to get into properly, its been a long struggle just to get a start. the thing is thats simple, i know what to do to get where i want. with relationships its not in your power to control the situation, doesn't really matter what you do or how much work or pain you put yourself through, if no one want to be with you then your just hitting your head on a brick wall.

 

i have trust issues aswell due to being led along by one particular girl when i was about 19/20, it was my own stupid fault, should have cut it off at the first sign of trouble, but was too soft. after that i never really felt like trying to get into anything with anyone.

 

it did affect me later, there was this one girl who was basically throwing herself at me for about a year solid, and she was stunning!, i really liked her but for some reason i just ended up believing she was just messing around. i don't think she was, she had to ask me to kiss here twice because i was not able to believe it was real, in a taxi home one night she had here hands all over me i said to her that she could do alot better than me but she said she really liked me! i was too stupid just to make a move, maybe it wouldn't have lasted but it could have been fun for a while, doubt i will ever get the chance of being with such a pretty girl ever again. that is one particular opportunity that bothers me now.

[an0nym0us123]

You have a lot going for you--a stable living situation, a work situation you love, etc. Where you fall down as a potential relationship partner is with softer people skills. That's where I would focus mg attention--not on shredded abs and killer biceps. Look at most guys walking down the street with their girlfriends. Most of those guys are just in so-so shape. What they do have is an ability to relate to their girlfriends (empathy, caring, sociability, etc.).

 

agree totally, well aware that abs etc are pretty much worthless at my age, still i like to lift weights and be in shape so as long as i enjoy it i will continue to do it. you bring up people skills, go to other threads here on dating and if there is a woman talking about seeing a shy/lack of experience guy who is un sure how to proceed with a relationship they are basically being told to forget about him. so you have no chance, your chucked on the rubbish heap before you even start.

[an0nym0us123]

I married someone who I literally bumped into on the street.

 

i admire people who can find others like this in ordinary day to day situations, fair play. but i have no ability in reading body language at all so this is not likely. i met this woman earlier this year, total stranger and chance occurrence. i had quite a lot of fun talking with her, normally i run out of things to say pretty quickly but i thought we hit it off. afterwards i friend requested her on facebook, she accepted days later. then a while passed i had a genuine reason for contacting her via message, we did not exchange many messages but basically she just stopped mid conversation and i never heard another word. so i read that situation pretty badly.

[angel.eyes]

agree totally, well aware that abs etc are pretty much worthless at my age, still i like to lift weights and be in shape so as long as i enjoy it i will continue to do it. you bring up people skills, go to other threads here on dating and if there is a woman talking about seeing a shy/lack of experience guy who is un sure how to proceed with a relationship they are basically being told to forget about him. so you have no chance, your chucked on the rubbish heap before you even start.

 

Since you realize how important people skills are, why aren't you working on those?

 

,