Could I be getting a second chance but am blind to it?

[Scared2loveagain]

So I posted here about my 5 year relationship coming to an end, I gave her space like she wanted. I didn't message or call or bother her in any way shape or form. A day later she began to message me good morning, so I replied with good morning and then at night she would say good night but usually I would be asleep by then so I wouldn't reply. She did this for almost a week and then out of the blue asked "how are you?" as well.

 

Fast forward a little bit, I invited her to longboard with me and we had a good time, she held on to me for dear life so she wouldn't fall and it felt great. We later sat and talked, I told her I would never search for another woman, my mind, my heart and my soul was set on her and nothing would change that.

I told her that I wouldn't be able to do the friends thing and she said "we will be ok soon" I told her I don't even know what normal is and she replied "we will figure it out" She had also mentioned something about being terminal but I had dismissed it without thinking really, she mentioned talking about it on an app called whisper to some stranger and he tried to be a creep and get her to meet up with him.

 

So I checked her phone which I had because we just recently upgraded our devices and checked the app and that app only. I found the conversations and it said she was planning to go now that she had cut ties with me.

 

So I went to her job Monday and gave her a hug because I felt she needed one (Later I found out she thought I went because I needed a hug lol)

Tuesday we met up and I spoke to her about it, she said the obvious first reply "you went through my phone?" so I told her yes but only that app because of what you had mentioned Sunday and I was worried, with good reason. So we spoke on it and I told her listen, you might think nobody will miss you but you are looking at a person who misses you every day right now and you are still alive if you died I would miss and mourn you every single day I live. We spoke some more and I brought up memories from the past, she got angry and said stop bringing up the past.

 

So I did, later on during the drive I accidently grabbed her hand and she grabbed mine back. She said it was out of habit here is where I made my mistake and grabbed her hand again when she pulled it away after noticing but she didn't say no or let go either. Eventually she said I don't respect her boundaries so I said I was sorry and that I will do my best to remember.

 

We went shopping for clothing and when she was in the fitting room I knocked on the door and told her when you try something on come out so I can see it. She opens the door and invites me in, I sat down and she proceeded to undress and change in front of me. I told her I miss your body everyday and she replied "even with all these folds?" so I told her yes, your body has always been perfect for me.

She had trouble getting a pair of shorts off so I helped her I removed her shorts while she held onto her panties. Eventually on the next pair of shorts she accidentally exposed her butt and when I pointed it out she laughed and said yes I know you can see my butt, I see my butt.

 

This is basically it so far, this weekend we leave for a weekend together to visit a friend, I told her I am afraid for this weekend and she replied with let it happen, whatever happens happens.

 

Any input would be nice thank you.

I am confused, could she be giving me a second chance to simply forget the past and build a new future from scratch as friends and eventually more?

[basil67]

I think she's at the stage of slowly getting used to not having you as a boyfriend and having you as a girlfriend instead.

 

I can't recommend highly enough that you STOP saying things like you will never love another and never move on. Like it or not, you're laying a guilt trip on her. As she continues to move on, she will only come to resent the fact that you are making your future happiness her responsibility. In the near future, she's going to look back at these words of yours and cringe.