Why did she bother talking to me again if she wasn't gonna give us another chance

[Wensleydale]

I met this girl over a year ago and it took some time to get things going but we got close over last summer and were planning to have a date, we were long distance which is why it took so long. The problem is that when people get close to me I get scared romantically but I hide it well, I hide behind alcohol to get courage and it's become an increasing problem that ruined everything. We had our first date and it was lovely then we met up another night and I was wasted, she thought I was flirting with another girl so she stormed off, I got more wasted and ended up kissing another girl hours later which she saw and I didn't know. I felt terrible and she broke things off with me, it was wrong of me I know but I genuinely felt terrible I'd built something with this girl for almost six months and she was special.

 

So instead of sending her flowers or making it up to her I just went out and got drunk and then I'd text her apologising and looking needy an desperate, in the end she said don't contact me anymore which wounded me. I was really sorry but I guess actions speak louder than words. Two months ago we got talking again and buried the hatchet, I apologised for my behaviour and said I was calming down the drink. She'd say she was open to us again somewhere down the line and the past was buried but let's be friends because of the distance. About two weeks ago I got sick of her being hot and cold with me, I asked her out and she said no and then I said okay well if you change your mind give me q call sometime and if not then I wish you well. She called and just kept saying I treated her like **** and I needed to prove I care, I asked can we talk tomorrow when we're both sober. She text the next day saying she doesn't want anything to do with me and that I never did anything to prove I cared, I should've sent her flowers and got her address from her friends but I didn't, so she wished me well and said don't contact. She's said don't contact in the past and then got back in touch before.

 

So I decided I'd try one last time and I sent her flowers and wine last week, all I got was thanks for the gesture it was nice but you shouldn't have done it because I want nothing between us at all, good luck for the future and then blocked me off everything before I could even reply.

 

I'm not excusing what I did and I deeply regret it, I just don't understand why she unblocked me and sent mixed signals for two months and would come to me when I ignored her. She said I didn't change and didn't do anything so when I finally did she just cut me off. What was the point? I'm not playing the victim I just don't understand why she even bothered or would say one thing and do another. It's a shame because I would've liked to have parted ways on a better note, least she got some flowers out of it.

[PegNosePete]

Who cares? Just block her and move on. There is nothing to be gained from analysing this situation ad infinitum. She is clearly not interested.