stupidman616 Posted September 1, 2016 Share Posted September 1, 2016 Recently separated for my wife who has told athorites i was abusing her tho she wasn't being and had nothing to show , now looking divorce. My worry is recently got a txt from wrong number , i replied to let them know was wrong number but we started texting bk n forth for a while and eventually calling each other turned out her name was jill same as my wife, we had loads in common and really connected, eventually leading to a dirty phone call which led to her asking to be held down etc etc and me saying yes ill hold you down use you etc etc now my fear is i was recorded and that wife would use this in court as if i said those things to her. Really worried at all this, i know im a stupid ass but was lonely etc and felt close to caller. Should i be worried, any advice to what i should do? Still in contact but no more dirty calls. Anything i should do other than keep my records of txts etc? Whats the legal grounds n protection if she did try to use it, and even if she says i didnt say it to her could she use it to prevent child access as id like kids at weekends etc? im in uk Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted September 1, 2016 Share Posted September 1, 2016 There's really little point to worrying about this. Maybe she will try to use it, maybe she won't. Who can say? All you can do is, as you say, keep records of your own so you can say when the call was made and to whom. Whether it's admissable in court (she didn't get your consent to record it) or the legal grounds or ramifications are best discussed with your solicitor, if and when your wife tries to use it in court. If she never does, then don't waste solicitors fees asking about hypotheticals. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
planning4later Posted September 1, 2016 Share Posted September 1, 2016 In some states it's illegal to record someone without their consent. If that's the case, a judge would overrule it being used as evidence. Check out the laws in your state. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stupidman616 Posted September 1, 2016 Author Share Posted September 1, 2016 im in the uk and as far as i know u can record but only for your own purposes not for use in court etc cant figure out if shes for real Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted September 1, 2016 Share Posted September 1, 2016 OP, All this shows is consensual sexting with her asking to be held down etc etc This has no bearing on abuse whatsoever. If it is your wife I doubt if she'll be able to use it in any way, as if she does, she'll have to reveal herself and any decent lawyer/solicitor will yell "entrapment !" Link to post Share on other sites
Author stupidman616 Posted September 1, 2016 Author Share Posted September 1, 2016 (edited) so with that in mind am i mad to be considering keeping it going? i do like her in a ton of ways, and can spend 8hrs on the phone easy shes dedicated if shes a fake lol and shes even sent msgs saying it was her fault chat went that way. Shes looking a pic now, even if she is fake is there any harm in sending one? Plus even tho she left the marital home months b4 could it be used for grounds in divorce? Edited September 1, 2016 by stupidman616 Link to post Share on other sites
LifesontheUp Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Do you need this complication at the moment with texting? I'd knock it off and start working on you and getting the divorce first. I'm with Aries woman if it is your wife she will have to reveal it is her if she tried to bring it into Court. However, I'm not sure why you think dirty texting will mean you will be stopped from seeing your kids? Your wife moved out months ago. Other than texting someone you have no idea who it is, what are you doing to work on yourself? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 so with that in mind am i mad to be considering keeping it going? Ask her to meet this weekend, that will prove if she's for real or not. Somewhere public. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author stupidman616 Posted September 2, 2016 Author Share Posted September 2, 2016 cant meet as she lives a good distance away and she doesnt want to meet "just yet" anyway and besides i dont feel i should be meeting people yet romantically dont think it be fair on them only kept this going probably cause im a bit lonely or something as was she supposedly just all seemed to perfect, i know its not my wife as we spoke on the phone and deff not her i think if it was anyone bad it would be someone hired by wife hate the it was her that found me (ie she sent the first txt) and has same name as my wife and the way she led the conversation to rough stuff etc etc ive just a suspicious mind i guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 sm616, so with that in mind am i mad to be considering keeping it going? IMO yes ! can spend 8hrs on the phone easy whaaaat? who the heck has 8 hours to spend on the 'phone for crying out loud ? This should like it's getting to be an addiction and you need to get a grip here. Do NOT send her a pic. This has "scam" written all over it. Plus even tho she left the marital home months b4 could it be used for grounds in divorce? Technically - yes - as you are still legally married. If you are petitioning her for divorce on the grounds of desertion, then, if she wanted to get really p!$$y she could cross-petition for "an inappropriate association", but it would be a long shot. Even so, you are better waiting until the ink is dry on the Decree Absolute and before indulging in a W@nkfe$t with a strange woman. I would tell this person (let's face it, it could be a ladyboy in Thailand for all you know ) that you can't carry on communicating with them as you need to sort out your divorce and get your head straight. Then, sort your life out and decide what you want to do with it, and what your plans are to live it as a single man, productively. Good luck x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 cant meet as she lives a good distance away Then what is the point of having any kind of relationship with her? she doesnt want to meet "just yet" anyway She's stringing you along dude. The day she wants to meet, will never come. and besides i dont feel i should be meeting people yet romantically dont think it be fair on them Then what are you playing at? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LifesontheUp Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 so with that in mind am i mad to be considering keeping it going? i do like her in a ton of ways, and can spend 8hrs on the phone easy shes dedicated if shes a fake lol and shes even sent msgs saying it was her fault chat went that way. Shes looking a pic now, even if she is fake is there any harm in sending one? Plus even tho she left the marital home months b4 could it be used for grounds in divorce? Again, if it has anything to do with your wife in order to bring it into Court she will have to reveal what she did and it will not look good on her. While you are lonely, what you are doing isn't going to help you in the long term. You need to start getting out there, join some classes, meet people who like the same activities as you, even start some new interests. Why oh why spend 8 hours texting, go get living your life! Link to post Share on other sites
Author stupidman616 Posted September 2, 2016 Author Share Posted September 2, 2016 i know im a sad sack ;-) if i was to divorce on grounds of her desertion does it really make a difference who is at fault in the uk ? is it not just get divorce and get carving knife out to split assets? we r fairly even asset wise so if its her or my fault does it make a lot of difference? Link to post Share on other sites
SoulCat Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 In UK divorce law the dissolution of the marriage and the financial settlement (including the division of all assets) are two separate processes. Who is 'at fault' for the marital breakdown should not influence the financial side of things. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author stupidman616 Posted September 2, 2016 Author Share Posted September 2, 2016 and what about the access to the kids? Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 and what about the access to the kids? Only a solicitor could advise you on that accord. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SoulCat Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 That will initially be discussed in a process called mediation. If the parties cannot come to an agreement during mediation, the court will step in and decide what is best for the children. Maybe you ought to do some research into UK divorce procedures and all that comes with the whole process. You're better off if you are informed and prepared. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stupidman616 Posted September 3, 2016 Author Share Posted September 3, 2016 (edited) have already tried to do mediation and wife has refused as to this situation it gets more suspect by the minute i decided not to send a pic and she took it badly to say the least and saying its over unless i send one and that i promised one even to the point of being threatening. If she was working with my wife they would already know what i looked like. Edited September 3, 2016 by stupidman616 Link to post Share on other sites
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