I actually started talking to my crush and now she's got a boyfriend.

[no_nickname]

hi, I'm 16 years old and I've got a crush on this girl at school. We didn't know each other very well but she had been in one of my classes before and I knew her name. I'm a bit shy so it was hard for me to work up the courage to talk to her but I did it. I just had some small conversations with her when I could and now I'm more comfortable with it. After a little while she started noticing me more I think she likes me but she doesn't really talk to me that much. I'm not sure if she knows I really like her because I haven't told anybody. It seemed like not long after...I found out she's got a new boyfriend. Now I'm even more afraid to show I like her and I know I can't ask her out even if I was going to eventually. This also made it awkward for me to ask for her phone number or anything like that.

 

So now it is summer time and I haven't seen or talked to her since school. I think about her a lot and I wish I could talk to her. I was thinking about asking one of my friends if he has her number but I don't think I should call her. It seems like it would be too weird calling her because we aren't really good friends. Plus she is probably still dating this other guy and I'd feel uncomfortable about it. I don't know what advice you can really give me other than to forget about her and find a new crush but its hard and I feel like I need to get this out and see what you think.

[Lilyann]

If she has a boyfriend, you should not call her. She could think badly of you for calling. I would try to go to places where she "hangs" out. If you do not see her over the summer, wait to school starts again. When school starts, make sure that you go out of your way to talk to her often and ask her about her summer.

[blue16]

Whatever you do, DON'T get her number from some friends and call her that way. To add the fact that you two don't know each other well...you'll come across as stalkerish if she gets a call out of the blue when she never gave you her number. And oh ya, she's dating someone else so it's best to back off for now.

 

Just wait till the next school year starts and play it by ear.

[AMBOMB1]

If you determine that she likes you, ask her if she's still dating her boyfriend when school starts. If not, ask her out. Don't call her this summer.

[no_nickname]

Yeah, calling her would be a bad idea. I wasn't going to actually do it. I have talked to her boyfriend a few times online and I think they are still going out so I doubt I will even ask her once school starts again.

[AMBOMB72]

Here are 10 signs a girl is flirting with you:

 

Number 10

 

She keeps glancing over

Are her eyes aimed at you every time you look her way? And does she avert her gaze whenever you catch her staring? Then you might have a live here. If she doesn't prolong the eye contact, then she's probably shy and needs a little coaxing from you. Go up to her, introduce yourself, and get her talking. You know you're doing well when...

 

Number 9

 

She smiles at you

The smile is the ultimate sign of openness and friendliness, provided it is genuine. Many people force a smile when trying to be polite, but they tend to be fairly obvious about it. If she shows her teeth and has that sparkle in her eye, then you can deduce that she's enjoying your company. Your only job is to keep her smiling by smiling back.

 

Number 8

 

She goes out of her way to get you to notice her

If, on her way from point A to point B, she takes an unnecessary detour through point C (you), she might be trying to get your attention. For instance, if she walks by your table "on her way" to the washroom in a coffee shop, but your table is located at the opposite end of the restrooms, she is probably interested. Why else would she be taking the long way? If she smiles at you on her way, consider your job half done.

 

Number 7

 

She plays with her hair

Women's hair is a source of power and confidence to them -- why else would they get so devastated after a bad haircut? They tap into its power at key moments, subconsciously unleashing its seductive potential. If you see her twirling her finger through it or throwing it around, like in a shampoo commercial, then you have a potential flirt in your midst.

 

This goes for body language in general. Some women like exposing their necks, prepping their clothes, or placing their arms in front of them in a way that their biceps push their breasts together, augmenting their cleavage. Some magazines tell women to let their shoes dangle at their toes, displaying the curvature of their feet, which men, apparently, associate with their other curves. However, if she's crossing her arms, it means she's distancing herself. Be alert.

 

Number 6

 

She initiates the conversation

Taking the first step to initiate a connection with you is a huge sign that she's interested. If she tells you something like "You remind me of someone I know," which begs a response and subsequent conversation, that's a concrete sign.

 

During the conversation, she may further convey her interest by asking you open-ended questions -- watch out fellas, they're starting to use our own weapons against us! She might also whisper "secrets" to you, bringing your faces close together, perhaps letting you get a good whiff of her perfume.

 

Is she repeating your name back to you?

 

Number 5

 

She laughs at your jokes

When you relate a funny story, does she throw her head back in riotous laughter or does she just look at you and say, "Is that supposed to be funny?" A big part of flirting involves reactions to the partner, so if she acts captivated by your words, you're in the green. Other reactions that convey approval include asking "really?", "wow" and opening her mouth in amused disbelief.

 

Number 4

 

She asks if you like certain activities

Does she ask you about your hobbies? Is she being more specific, and asking you if you like a particular pastime? Although she is not actually asking you for a date, it's an implied way of doing it. She could be leading up to asking you out or paving the ground for you to pop the question instead. If the activity in question is dancing, movies or dinner, then it is almost certain.

 

Number 3

 

She pays you a compliment

Women are sparse with compliments, so if she throws one your way, you can pat yourself on the back. This is especially good if it has to do with your physique, as this implies that she is attracted to you. Another way she may demonstrate her interest is by repeating your name, letting you know that you are memorable and establishing a closer, more intimate connection with her.

 

Number 2

 

She makes sexual comments

Some women like to put themselves in the mood by talking about things that turn them on. It brings out their frisky side. So if she steers the conversation to sexy topics, she could be trying to pull you into a flirting crescendo that might lead to a veritable verbal foreplay. Most times they will keep it understated and tasteful, so you should do the same. A crass slip-up is a sure-fire way to ruin the rapport.

 

Number 1

 

She touches you

When a woman breaks the contact barrier during a conversation, it is almost a sure sign that she's interested. It can be as obvious as touching your arm or knee while making a point, or as faint as having her knees come into contact with yours under the table. But you must make sure that she makes the first skin convergence.

 

A less direct way is if she mirrors your body language, which is something women do subconsciously. When you lean in, she leans in. When you rest your elbows on the table, she does the same. Duplicating your actions is her way of showing you that she's "in-synch" with you.

 

flirt freely

 

Since some of the above signals could just be gestures of friendliness on a woman's part, you should count a minimum of four before you conclude that she is, indeed, flirting with you. If she commits five or more, your evening is set.

 

So now you know the theory, but recognizing her signals on the spot takes time, especially when they're too subtle to be detected by the untrained eye. And though you should constantly be alert, don't get yourself into a state of tense vigilance, where you're looking for nothing else but the aforementioned signs. Keep cool, relax and enjoy yourself. In time, women's flirtation techniques will become as clear as traffic signals.

[AMBOMB72]

Does she do any of the things listed above?

[nuckinfutz213]

hey this is no_nickname. I'm using my registered account because my guests posts weren't coming up.

 

She really doesn't do too many of the things on that list, not excessively anyways. She does glance over at me sometimes and usually smiles at me but that's normal for her. She may have laughed at my one of my jokes but I don't tell a whole lot of jokes. She has also initiated conversation with me only a few times. I myself have shown most of these signs without even realizing it but maybe she hasn't picked up on them. My guess is that she doesn't really like me in the same way. What should I do?

[AMBOMB72]

Don't get discouraged. 3 out of 10's not bad. You say she glances over at you and smiles at you, but that's normal for her. What does that mean? Does she do those things to other people or just you? What about conversation? Does she initiate conversation with other people or just you?

[nuckinfutz213]

yeah what I mean when I say it is normal for her to look at me and smile is that she is nice and friendly to a lot of people. It is still a good sign but it probably doesn't mean she has special interest in me. As for conversation...she doesn't initiate conversation with me a whole lot but there was a few times she did.

[AMBOMB72]

Girls like muscular guys. If you already are muscular, it probably wouldn't hurt to be more muscular. So, get to the gym and start pumping iron. I recommend you buy the book Power to the People, by Pavel Tsatsouline. You may also want to buy Pavel Tsatsouline's book The Russian Kettlebell Challenge, along with a pair of kettlebells.

[nuckinfutz213]

haha, I didn't expect that. I'm not really that muscular but I think I am muscular enough. Do you really think I can get her attracted to me just by working out? I mean I guess it would help but if she is not at all physically attracted to me now there isn't a whole lot more I can do. I thought maybe if I just had more confidence and she got to know me a little better I might find out if she is attracted to me.

[AMBOMB72]

If she's not attracted to you now, she may become attracted to you if you get more muscular. If she is attracted to you now, she may become more attracted to you if you get more muscular. It's worth a try.

Another thing, the next time you walk past her, make sure she sees you and then turn around and look at her. If she's looking back (checking you out), she likes you.

[nuckinfutz213]

well school has started again and this year I have 3 classes with this girl again. I haven't talked to her yet and I just don't know what to say and when to say it. I don't know if she's attracted to me, I didn't get a whole lot more muscular over the summer. I did get contacts instead of wearing glasses and a little bit of a tan but that's about it. I'm just going to give it some time and not rush things but I'm just not sure what to say besides maybe talking about school.

[masta_213]

Hey, dude, I’ve got the same problem as you did. This girl had been in one of my classes for almost two years but we barely talked cos I was chickened out of making a move. I never realized how stupid I was till I graduated from high school. Then one of my pals told me she has a vet as a boyfriend. So instead of quitting the game, I grabbed her number from some other guy and bombarded her with text messages. That didn’t turn out very well. I desperately want to ask her out but nothing works according to plan. I am so twisted cos I don’t know if I should let go of it or just hang in there. Somehow I can’t get over it. It would be great if you guys can offer me some advice, thanks in advance.

[Lucasarts]

well school has started again and this year I have 3 classes with this girl again. I haven't talked to her yet and I just don't know what to say and when to say it. I don't know if she's attracted to me, I didn't get a whole lot more muscular over the summer. I did get contacts instead of wearing glasses and a little bit of a tan but that's about it. I'm just going to give it some time and not rush things but I'm just not sure what to say besides maybe talking about school.

 

well when you don't know someone that well, you talk about the things you both have in common. If you really want to find a good way to start talking to her, talk about what the homework is, when you guys have a test to take, ask her if she wants to study with you afterschool or something. but dont just talk about school, thats more of an opener to what her interests are and stuff. you have 3 classes with this girl and that right there is a sign of good luck for you. It means you get to see her 3 times a day, and even if you don't talk to her outside the classroom at first, you're still given 3 more opportunities to talk to her a day (which is plenty imo, b/c its hard to talk to a girl all the time everyday about new and interesting things, especially when you're just beginning to get to know her).

 

oh and a good way to get her screenname for aim/msn is to say that you might need help with a homework problem or something and that you want to be able to reach her somehow for that help. From there on, you're golden.