How to make her feel better about herself after she's been cheated on

[Imezru2]

I'm in the early stages of a relationship. Her ex cheated on her with someone a couple years younger, a few lbs lighter, a couple bigger cup sizes. She is beautiful, thin and is all but anorexic trying to get to the weight she wants to be. How can i help her with the image issues she's having?

[ExpatInItaly]

If she is suffering from anorexia, she needs to be under the care of a doctor. It is a serious physical and psychological issue that really only a professional can help her with.

 

On your side, you can be supportive and loving. You can be kind, and transparent. Just be careful that you're not being held hostage for someone else's mistakes (in this case, her cheating ex)

 

It sounds to me like this is going beyond the typical trust issues that one understandably faces after betrayal. She has inner work she needs to do, too.

[Imezru2]

She's not anorexic. She just feels bad and doesn't eat much. I understand the self image thing... just don't know what I can do to help her through this and make her see theach how amazing she looks

[Imezru2]

She's not anorexic. She just feels bad and doesn't eat much. I understand the self image thing... just don't know what I can do to help her through this and make her see how amazing she looks

[BluesPower]

While you cannot undo the damage that her last relationship did to her. You can suggest and encourage that she get some therapy. It really will help her.

 

Frankly all you need to do is lavish complements and love on her. Continually assure her that you think she looks wonderful. Don't be dopey about it just be real and let her know that you love her.

 

I actually find all women beautiful, that is one of my issues, but they really are if you think about it.

 

Give her plenty of attention in the bed room and tell her how much she turn you on. They love to hear that while you are making love to them. I think it helps to reinforce what your saying, but I am not sure.

 

Over time she will start to internalize the things you are saying. But she also needs to get some help because the damage that infidelity does to a person is really deep.

 

You can't do it all, but you can help a lot.

[elisalynn]

I really wouldn't overdue it with comments/compliments on her looks. Focus on telling her how awesome of a person she is and how much you love her for her. Make her feel sexy and beautiful when you are with her. Tell her she is too, but keep comments about her body to a comfortable minimum.

 

When I am feeling insecure about how I look, I feel a little patronized when someone compliments something that I don't think is worth complimenting or I get complimented on looks too much; I do, though, feel beautiful when someone makes it clear that they love me for me regardless of my looks and then on top of that make me feel sexy by the way they touch me, and beautiful by the way they hold and look me at me. Those are great times for compliments on looks.

[angel.eyes]

You can't make her feel better or trust more. That comes from within once she has better self-esteem and works through her personal issues.

 

If she's still hung up on her ex to the point where you feel compelled to intervene and help, she's not ready to date! She should be working through her issues first. On your end, examine why you want to enter into this and save her from her personal struggle. Lots of emotionally healthy, available women out there to date. What is so appealing about the opposite?