Tess Posted April 21, 2001 Share Posted April 21, 2001 Ok.Before you start using this in your response,let me explain. I'm sure you're heard about couples that are completely (or nearly so)alike.What they like,their personality,etc.But you've also seen couples that have NOTHING WHATSOEVER in common,and their relationships work out fine. My question is: What should compatiblity be based on?Similarities,or differences?Or is there a point? What do you think? P.S: I am truly sorry if my topic is unclear for you! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 21, 2001 Share Posted April 21, 2001 YOU ASK: "What should compatiblity be based on?Similarities,or differences?Or is there a point? Compatibility should be based on whatever you want to base it on. Fact is, compatibility factors are highly variable. Two people who are very sexually compatible may ignore or not even try to discover other compatiblities or incompatibilities. Two people who share lots of friends and interests at a particular time may not do so later. I had two friends who were in a band. One a drummer, the other was the lead female vocalist. They fell in love and eventually married. While they were traveling together and doing gigs with the band, all was great. But once they got older and started having kids and doing the band thing was no longer practical, they had to struggle with their new lives. They no longer had the band in common...and that had been the basic platform for their relationship up to that point. So, while relationships should have a compatibility component, they also need to be flexible, tolerant and both partners have to be committed to respecting the other's growth in whatever direction that takes. Most human beings don't remain in the same place very long. They are constantly changing. That's why the compatibility thing can be frightening if you really consider it. There's a whole bundle of issues that make up the compatibility component of a relationship and the two people have to weigh everything on an individual basis to see where they may stand. I think there can be some differences, even a few major ones, but I don't think two people have much of a chance in life if they start out mostly with lots of differences. Link to post Share on other sites
WGirl Posted April 21, 2001 Share Posted April 21, 2001 Based on my personal experience, relationships seem to work out better if you are more alike than different. I know everyone has their differences and no two people are exactly alike. It is good if you share common goals, same ideas about life, enjoy some of the same things, for a long-term relationship especially. Maybe in some cases opposites get along. It has never worked in my case. It seemed as though there were always conflicts. Some of the conflicts could never be resolved. Personality wise you have to be compatible. You need to be able to tolerate each other's personality quirks. Everyone has those. Attraction also helps. There has to be a mutual attraction in male/female relationships or forget it. Ok.Before you start using this in your response,let me explain. I'm sure you're heard about couples that are completely (or nearly so)alike.What they like,their personality,etc.But you've also seen couples that have NOTHING WHATSOEVER in common,and their relationships work out fine. My question is: What should compatiblity be based on?Similarities,or differences?Or is there a point? What do you think? P.S: I am truly sorry if my topic is unclear for you! Link to post Share on other sites
JustAGirl Posted April 21, 2001 Share Posted April 21, 2001 I think you need a combo. Lots of common things, especially in the beginning... so you can do stuff together & all ... but if u know everything the other person knows, it's kind of boring... should be different enough to have lots to teach to each other... activity-wise, and knowledge-wise... just my opinion... Link to post Share on other sites
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