brokenmom Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 I've never been part of a forum before, but I could definitely use some support from people that can relate. My story in a nutshell: we were married for 10 years, have two kids (8 & 6), he stopped talking to me in April, moved out mid May, told me he wanted a divorce end of May, Mid June I found out he was having an affair with his secretary, and mid August found out I ended up with an STD out of the deal. We have filed for divorce but things are going painfully slower than I would like. I of course am hurt and very angry. Not at what he did to me, but what he did to our kids. I trusted him with my family - and he destroyed it. Our marriage was not perfect - but we had a good life together. And more importantly, our kids had a good life. Now as a single mother, I only hope I can give them a fraction of the life they could have had. Having a traditional family was everything to me. I come from a broken home and I swore that I would do everything I could to prevent my kids from growing up in one. And I did everything I could have. But it still failed. I failed my kids by choosing their father. He is a narcissist and I knew it before we got married. But I married him anyway. My biggest fears now are living the rest of my life alone. Not having someone to share my life with - to make family memories with. Coping with the death of my perceived future has been very difficult. I don't deal well with change and facing such a big change alone is daunting. We are about to start the mediation process. I have no idea what to expect. He will not discuss anything with me so it should be interesting! We have never discussed our divorce in any way. He just left. I'm just looking for support from those who have been here - and survived and even possibly thrived! I never thought I would be here! Link to post Share on other sites
Jeff1690 Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Going through this myself. Just remember this. You did not fail, you did not destroy your family. Children will be happy regardless of their financial situation as long as they are loved. Show them the love. I understand the feeling of your life and your future plans destroyed. Make new ones. It is hard. Make a plan and follow through. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 You will not live your life alone. You are blessed with 2 beautiful kids who will probably give you grand kids so you will not be alone in life. Why is the divorce going so painfully slow? Link to post Share on other sites
Lowrider93 Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 I believe you should be angry, not only for going outside the marriage for pleasure, but more importantly for bringing a STD back into your life. I'd be really pissed for that second one. You did NOT fail your children!, quit thinking that! Your future is not dead, but your past soon will be. Stay tough! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lowrider93 Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 I presume you have a lawyer, go for what your entitled to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenmom Posted September 2, 2016 Author Share Posted September 2, 2016 You will not live your life alone. You are blessed with 2 beautiful kids who will probably give you grand kids so you will not be alone in life. Why is the divorce going so painfully slow? It probably isn't going slow - it's probably normal. I think I am just hoping that the closure will help me heal and move on. I think it's a false hope and that only time will heal. Preparing for mediation and possible court hearings means having to relive everything we've been through - good and bad. Still having most of his things in the house are all reminders. I just want him out of my life as much as possible. I want to close that door and nail it shut. I know with kids that will never happen. But I would just like to be done walking on egg shells and feeling like he still has some control over me. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Do you have to go through the mediation process for the divorce? Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenmom Posted September 2, 2016 Author Share Posted September 2, 2016 Do you have to go through the mediation process for the divorce? I think we could refuse if we knew we couldn't get along. I'm actually looking forward to it because we have never discussed anything. In our state we get 6 free hours of mediation to see if we can come to an agreement. Then we only have to take the unresolved issues to court. If we can take some things off the table with no lawyer expenses, I'm all for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenmom Posted September 2, 2016 Author Share Posted September 2, 2016 I presume you have a lawyer, go for what your entitled to. Yes I do have a lawyer and plan to fight for what is fair! Link to post Share on other sites
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