Wow have I been on some trip...but I still need

[Brapting]

Ok, so I hope that this thread not only helps others...but encourages advice for myself.

 

At 27, 1 year ago, I had just been promoted in my job. Secretly I was severely depressed and had dedicated my whole existence to hard work. My new role was difficult...and my working environment dysfunctional. As someone recovering from a drug dependency and mental health issues, I struggled. After a few months an attractive and 'bubbly' woman was brought into the department. I was attracted to her, but the instant that I mentioned that I was still commuting from my parents 'home'...my chances were dead. In that moment I realised that I needed help and I needed to push on from my situation.

 

As the weeks passed, the woman and my colleagues teased me over my lack of a social life, friends and relationships until I finally sought and found my own flat near to work. I told myself that things would be different now...and they were for the first week or two. But then I settled into being a recluse...but in a different location. I even posted a couple of times on this forum.

 

After a few months, things were getting bad. I was struggling at work and the woman that I was interested in was clearly not reciprocating. So I decided to visit my local NHS Wellbeing Centre.

 

I was upfront and honest. I had no friends, no social life and no relationships...and this had been the situation for years. Quickly, I was encouraged to seek social opportunities. I knew about the Meetup app and signed up to and attended groups around 5-aside football, 20's - 30's drinks and even public speaking! I still attend the football and public speaking groups regularly and participate fully, but I struggle with making connections beyond the formal groups.

 

Even after attending my first gig alone this week, I find it near impossible to start conversations with people and develop meaningful relationships, friends or otherwise.

 

Since starting the process, I have been no slouch. I have been in regular contact with my therapist/counsellor by face to face or Skype...but after a blazing start, I find myself struggling...at my inability to even start conversations with people and make connections. With no experience of friends and a social life, I have plateaued and stagnated...can anyone offer any advice?

[Lowrider93]

I understand what your going through, I've dealt with the what to say situation, especially with groups of people. They say the most interesting people are the ones who ask plenty of questions about others.