Different standards for MW and MM

[road]

Technically, yes. That doesn't make it right. Technically, a woman can walk away from her child too. It's not unheard of.

 

 

Nothing about being right, wrong, or technically anything.

 

 

It is about reality.

 

 

The reality is because a female AP refused to protect/safeguard her eggs by having an affair her off spring will pay for the consequences of her bad decision.

 

 

Reality has nothing to do with being fair let alone right or wrong.

[DKT3]

I think you are misreading your stats or your source is incredible. My quick Google search came up with a 2.5 percentage rate for children born as a result of infidelity. Maybe it's my locality, but mentally going down each classroom row, I even find that stat difficult to believe.

 

I should have been more clear, the study was done on those having run DNA testing on children. That fact will see an elevated number because normally if you have your child tested there is doubt.

[DKT3]

Even still its a very disturbing number, that's alot of kids being started off with major disadvantages, one of those things WS fail to consider when entering affairs, specifically when both are married and other kids are already involved.

[OneLov]

I should have been more clear, the study was done on those having run DNA testing on children. That fact will see an elevated number because normally if you have your child tested there is doubt.

 

So does that mean the assumption or doubt is incorrect 3 out of 4 times?

[DKT3]

So does that mean the assumption or doubt is incorrect 3 out of 4 times?

 

I guess whichever way makes the individual feel better....at the end of the day 25% is disturbing. Does not matter if 3 are wrong, because it doesn't prove she wasn't cheating only that husband had stronger swimmers

[DKT3]

I guess we can ask the 25% of the kids who will rarely be totally accepted or included.

[DKT3]

I think the double standard exist because there has never been a woman on planet earth who has had to ask is this really my child. A child's lineage has far reaching effects. Having myself been on the bad side of you are not the father, I can attest to the stinging pain that I've yet to find its comparison.

[OneLov]

I guess whichever way makes the individual feel better....at the end of the day 25% is disturbing. Does not matter if 3 are wrong, because it doesn't prove she wasn't cheating only that husband had stronger swimmers

 

The only thing it proves is 1 out of 4 children who are suspected to be a product of infidelity actually are. So before anyone throws the putative love child overboard to preserve the family unit and oneself, it is wise to get a DNA test because the majority of the time someone's gut feeling is incorrect.

[DKT3]

The only thing it proves is 1 out of 4 children who are suspected to be a product of infidelity actually are. So before anyone throws the putative love child overboard to preserve the family unit and oneself, it is wise to get a DNA test because the majority of the time someone's gut feeling is incorrect.

 

If that's how you see. As a man, I can say if someone told me I only had 75% chance to father the kids I raised I wouldn't have any and damn sure would never be married.

[dichotomy]

Married women are never wrong or at fault......or has no one ever been married ?

 

 

 

now single women with MM - those w%&%$ are always to blame.

Edited September 6, 2016 by dichotomy

[OneLov]

If that's how you see. As a man, I can say if someone told me I only had 75% chance to father the kids I raised I wouldn't have any and damn sure would never be married.

 

But you're misreading the statistic. The statistic is limited to situations where a child's paternity is in question. It does not represent children whose mother had an affair. So you have a 97.5% chance of being the biological father of the children you raised.

[OneLov]

I think the double standard exist because there has never been a woman on planet earth who has had to ask is this really my child. A child's lineage has far reaching effects. Having myself been on the bad side of you are not the father, I can attest to the stinging pain that I've yet to find its comparison.

 

I'm truly sorry you had to experience that. I've not been there but only could imagine it's one of the worst emotional states one can experience.

[DKT3]

But you're misreading the statistic. The statistic is limited to situations where a child's paternity is in question. It does not represent children whose mother had an affair. So you have a 97.5% chance of being the biological father of the children you raised.

 

Well not really since my wife was a confirmed cheater.....must note that the child in my situation wasn't with my wife, but a result of my very first sexual encounter with a much older woman in my teens...still maintained a relationship with him, carried him on my insurance, got his first car paid for his college and recently he asked me to be his best man at his wedding... despite the DNA results he is my son.

[OneLov]

Well not really since my wife was a confirmed cheater.....must note that the child in my situation wasn't with my wife, but a result of my very first sexual encounter with a much older woman in my teens...still maintained a relationship with him, carried him on my insurance, got his first car paid for his college and recently he asked me to be his best man at his wedding... despite the DNA results he is my son.

 

Exactly, he is your son. You did realized that he deserved a seat in the life boat.

 

Did you have any children with your wife where paternity was in question? Assuming all the previous statistics discussed are accurate, then there is a 75% chance the child is your child. If there was never a question of paternity, then there is a 97.5% chance the child is yours. Being able to prove unequivocally the mother/SO cheated is not a relevant factor in determining these percentages.

 

It is very possible for an affair to have in fact occurred whereby there is 100% chance none of the children could have been sired by the OM.

[road]

I think the double standard exist because there has never been a woman on planet earth who has had to ask is this really my child. A child's lineage has far reaching effects. Having myself been on the bad side of you are not the father, I can attest to the stinging pain that I've yet to find its comparison.

 

Another valid point and when pared up with that men to not get pregnant is why the double standard persists.

[carnelian]

I don't know about that question, but I feel that there is a double standard

when men pursue a woman (married woman or single) versus when a woman pursues a man (married or single,)

 

The man is always vilified when he pursues a woman, God forbid she is taken

then he really gets scorn. It is called harassing, cheating, stalking, and every other bad word thinkable. If the woman says no and he still tries for her the usual folks hate him--on this board and elsewhere. Even if he never touches her. Even if he is a total gentleman and very nice.

If a woman does the same thing, it is much more acceptable--she may be slightly chided not to do this.

 

The women's movement won again, putting these ideas into our heads. Men are the bad guys, women are good guys.

[carhill]

Is there more of a stigma in society when a MW has an A than when a MM has an affair?

I haven't personally seen this but then again my interaction over the decades has been more with MW's than MM's. My best example is one MW was having multiple concurrent affairs and the guys not involved with her knew it and still pursued her. Exciting times. Decades later, she would start up another affair with a MM while at the end of her M and they're still together today as far as I know. I've got dozens of other examples. Sure, people have their opinions but in the final analysis does it really matter? In their case, his business is as successful as ever, they're both grandparents, she's doing fine last I knew and life went on. People hurt people and life isn't fair and obeying all the rules doesn't get one a cookie at the end, just dead.

It seems like women are vilified more when they have and affair and men it's more accepted.

I saw more of that when young, prior to the sexual revolution back in the 60's. After, pretty equal opportunity like everything else.

It's like women are supposed to be pure and virginal and if they have an affair they are bad girls that deserve what they get.

Yeah, I kinda had that opinion too but it was either ride the bear or get eaten by the bear. Pretty much everyone around here was married by age 20 or 21 and it was MW's or nothing after that. The example I used above was 22 when I met her, and her other lovers, including her employer, and already had a 4 yo kid. Normal stuff, the everything at a young age anyway.

If they get used and mistreated by their AP, they deserve it. What are some opinions on this?

IMO, after a long life, people use and mistreat others all the time, not just in affairs. It's part of being human and life not being fair and, rather, often brutal.

 

Basically, man or woman, if you're attractive and popular, you''re attractive and popular and people will overlook vices like drugs, alcohol, infidelity and even criminal behavior because, well, that's how humans work. Sure, some won't but there's billions more out there to sell the sizzle too. Then we die. Good luck!