My partner's cousin wants me

[444]

Hi all

 

It started not long ago, I don't know how exactly. At the beginning that woman just seemed nice to me, somewhat cute but with no attraction at all. Then I don't know exactly what it is that led me to believe she was interested... sure she'd always been nice to me, happy to see me and smiling at me, but I never saw any sign in those. I think she must have slightly accentuated (consciously or not) some sign, like a smile a little to insistent, or a compliment that was a little too much (a vigorous "you're so nice!" because I poured her daughter water...). So I began to think a little about her.

 

And the next time I saw her (also currently the last time), I couldn't control a slightly too insistent smile myself, while I was going towards her to say hello. She was already smiling at me as usual but I saw her tick. She had a little head movement like she was a little surpised. I thought she was going to say something like "What?" or to laugh... but her smile just intensified and she kept looking me in the eyes. And so it was on:

 

-She managed to sit next to me by putting her plate next to mine; I automatically moved aside to give her some place and she said "Ho, I can sit there, next to you?!" and she sat.

-There were of course slight touches on meaningless body parts but still those touches you will never try to shorten or avoid and won't say a word about.

-We were close while talking and she laughed a lot.

-She rested firmly on my shoulder to"help her" get back on the bench we were sitting but she didn't need anyhelp the first time she sat.

-And some more little things like that. It was tense... All that time my partner she was in front of me, and the cousin's husband was not there. He arrived later and it was pretty cold : they hadn't seen each others all day, they didn't kiss, they didn't even touch each other. She just asked him if things were going ok and he didn't give a ****. I've already noticed that about them.

 

When we left, we said goodbye and on the way to the cars she manage to walk next to me, and when the group broke, she said towards me "good night?"... mmmfff that wasn't necessary unless you really wanted me to think about you tonight! Aaaaaaarghhhhh!!

 

Since then (about a week), I've thought a lot about her, about flirting with her, touching her and so on.

 

The thing is this : I am very very happy with my partner, she gives me everything I need, we love each other deeply and we want to always be together. But still I am attracted by other women, a lot of other women, and it's always when you are in couple that women begin coming at you like you would just have to choose. I think they know or sense that since you're in a seemingly stable couple, you're worth something, adding to that that you don't give a **** anymore and so are very confident, they generally love that.

 

Frankly, I believe everyone should have the right to get every woman or man who wants them. It proves their genes are valuable to some and deserve the descendance they could have if there was no religion and other rotten mind controlling ****.

 

On the other hand, I don't want to loose my partner. If I'd begin to see that woman in secret and it was discovered, it would be a familial cataclysm among my partner's family... her own cousin with who she gets along very well, with me the love of her life, and the husband who would probably want to kill me slowly with a broad diversity of tools, while being encouraged by the rest of the family. I'd loose my partner, for sure, and some of the family would be broken. Not to mention her heart. I couldn't do something like that to her, never...

 

... But you know what, really, after hours thinking about this? I would be ashamed of those consequences, but I would not be of ****ing her. I know I woudln't feel any remorse for that specific action, only for the rest.

 

I've already thought before that I could do those kinds of things only if far from home and just 1 time for example. And she would never know, and I would know if I really need that or if it's a bad idea.

 

I know it's going to happen soonner or later, it's becoming too much to handle, always could resist before, but it's culminating (and/or I'm getting old). So many women and occasions ignored to stay "loyal"... I can't handle the possibility of ****ing only one woman till the rest of my life. It's against my very nature, I can't do that! I can't anymore! I want to experience this attraction, this tension between 2 poeple attracted to each other without knowing why but indubitabely attracted. It's always new and powerful, it makes you feel so alive, and even more when you finally make love. I don't want those things to be over. That is not an option.

 

I probably won't do it this time because of the family matter, although if the conditions were right one time for us not to be discovered... I don't know, What do you think about all this?

 

Thank you very much for reading all this

Edited September 3, 2016 by 444
Corrected title

[amaysngrace]

I think you should break up with your partner if the thought of being with her and only just her for the rest of your life is something that you think you can't handle and I think you should tell her just that.

 

It may hurt her initially to lose you but she'll probably thank you in time.

[BaileyB]

I think you should break up with your partner because she deserves someone who is devoted to her, loves her, and will commit to her and her alone. Clearly, you do not feel this way when you say you want to **** another woman, it will happen sooner or later, and that you won't really have remorse.

 

Let your partner go so she can find someone who actually loves her.

[Survivor12]

I don't think it's necessary to break up with your SO. If you really mean what you say about everyone having the right to "get" anyone they share attraction with, then tell your gf how you feel so that she, too, can exercise her rights. That shouldn't be a problem, should it?

 

In fact, after you explain what you "believe", I have a feeling that she will give you the freedom to blink anyone you want.

[Space Ritual]

.

 

Frankly, I believe everyone should have the right to get every woman or man who wants them. It proves their genes are valuable to some and deserve the descendance they could have if there was no religion and other rotten mind controlling ****.

 

Frankly you don't have a clue about what the hell you are talking about, with the exception of looking for a justification to screw around with your partner's married cousin.

 

 

Why are you even trotting this out there for us? Go ahead and bang her and come back in a few months and tell us how it all worked out.

 

I would expect a post like yours to come from some Teenage girl who read a few too many Harlequin Romance Novels. I think you better get a clue and get it quick because you are going down a path that could have serious consequences, not only to your relationship but your physical well being if that husband gets wind of this low drama. And no one would blame him for going upside your melon.

 

Don't go down this road.

[BaileyB]

I don't think it's necessary to break up with your SO. If you really mean what you say about everyone having the right to "get" anyone they share attraction with, then tell your gf how you feel so that she, too, can exercise her rights. That shouldn't be a problem, should it?

 

In fact, after you explain what you "believe", I have a feeling that she will give you the freedom to blink anyone you want.

 

Point well made!

[444]

Frankly you don't have a clue about what the hell you are talking about, with the exception of looking for a justification to screw around with your partner's married cousin.

What I meant is that if every one should have sex with the most whom is interested by them, obviously the most pleasant and interesting poeple physically and/or mentally would have the most success and spread their good genes the most. I would prefer an army of me than an army of low-life sheeps.

 

And I'm not looking for a justification at all. I woulld like very much to do it and I am not ashamed of that at all because it's only natural. Now if I do it it's a different thing...

 

Why are you even trotting this out there for us? Go ahead and bang her and come back in a few months and tell us how it all worked out.

 

Yeah, that's why I most probably won't : self preservation and by the way preservation of some other poeple.

 

I would expect a post like yours to come from some Teenage girl who read a few too many Harlequin Romance Novels. I think you better get a clue and get it quick because you are going down a path that could have serious consequences, not only to your relationship but your physical well being if that husband gets wind of this low drama. And no one would blame him for going upside your melon.

 

Don't go down this road.

 

Lol In fact after talking about this and a lot of sex, the thoughts and the fantasies have gone down a fair notch. Maybe it was a teenage thing, but it was so good ! It is always that good, everytime. Probably the novelty of it.

Anyway, even if I won't show a complete "NO" to the cousin next time I see her, because I want to feel that from time to time, I won't allow it to go further, it's reeeeeeeallly NOT worth it. I don't see her very often, so that's all good.

 

The only acceptable solution would be a threesome with everyone in consent. But knowing my partner it's not likely to happen. So I'll just **** her even harder than before.

[ExpatInItaly]

Tell your partner how you feel. Be honest that you don't want to be sexually monogamous anymore.

 

Let her decide if she wants to be with a man who wants to nail other women to validate him, including her own cousin. (Hint: probably not)

 

Have you dated much, OP? And how old are all of you? Those are sincere questions, by the way.

 

It sounds like you're quite bored in your relationship.

[444]

Tell your partner how you feel. Be honest that you don't want to be sexually monogamous anymore.

 

Let her decide if she wants to be with a man who wants to nail other women to validate him, including her own cousin. (Hint: probably not)

 

Have you dated much, OP? And how old are all of you? Those are sincere questions, by the way.

 

It sounds like you're quite bored in your relationship.

 

The thing is there is nothing wrong with my partner. We have a lot in common and the sex is better than ever. I really want to stay with her.

And I never thought that even in this wonderful situation, I still would want other women.

I think I could sleep with another woman without having remorse and still loving my partner. Now I never did it so I don't really know...

I don't think sleeping with someone can be intrinsically bad, but I don't want to cope with the really bad part : lying to and deceiving someone I love, while knowing her feelings are sincere and untainted. It would be awful.

I've joked about other women many time with my partner, she laughs but don't want it to be too much. I know I can't have both.

 

We are all between 35 and 40.

Have I dated much? Well that might be some part of the issue : younger, by huge lack of confidence I failed to get so many women... I often even tell myself that was impossible this or that woman was attracted to me because I found I was so ugly and uninteresting.

Then when I became more confident, I finally wouldn't be overlooking occasions, but I also got involved in a couple so I couldn't go with all the women I want.

All in all, I have been with (including those I did not have sex with) less than 10 women. I had sex with 5 women in my life. Compared to the occasions I had, it's nothing. And I missed the majority of those because I hated myself.

Now that I don't anymore and could enjoy myself, I'm stuck.

Seems like a part of my youth I never had and want back.