When Is It Enough???

[J.LO]

Ok...where should i start?

I don't no what to do anymore because iam the oldest child and i go back and forth between my parents, as they are devorced. Iam 16 and at my dads..iam not having a good time.

 

I seem to be the maid. I do all the housework...and even my little brother gets to boss me around. I talk to my mom about it and she doesnt want me to stay here anymore. Iam alittle worried though because my dad gets really really mad and he gets too rough most of the time. What do i do? I want to leave...but when he finds out...he's going to be pissed!

 

But sometimes i wonder if i just think it's bad when it's not...because when i tried to talk to dad and his finace about it...i got in trouble and they said we do everything for you...and just kept going on about stupid things like that...which made me guility. But why do i feel guilt?

 

I also was devasted the last weekend because i was told i ruined my stepmoms birthday. Because i cried. It was my dad that didnt want to eat and they got in a fight..and then my brother sdaid stuff that i didnt say to my dad and my dad flew right into me! I didnt no what to do...i felt scared. My dad will smack you around..he doesnt care. He's too rough!

 

Sometimes i feel i hate everyone of them. There is sooo much more that goes on. But what it seems like is that my brother can do whatever he wants...and i cant do a thing. And my brother is definitly the favorite. I dont know what to do anymore. My dad laughed at me the 1st time i told him my bro is a liar.

 

My family is really confusing..most of the time i feel i dont have one. (at my dads)

Iam supposed to apolize to my dads fiance...but should i? It was him that fought with her...how did the tables turn and i get the blame again? They say you can choose where you live at age 16. To my dad and them..iam just a joke. Iam always told iam ugly, fat..and then i went anorecic...and i get made fun of by my own father! He always puts me down...even his fiance sometimes...

 

But will i be the bad person if i leave? It's only been a year or longer that i have been going back and forth. n i have been putting up with this , this long and before that. Weekends) My dad and his fiance say to everyone else how good me and my brother are...but ...why? They yell at me no matter what...i tried to do everything...but it's hard. I...i dont have a life. Iam worried about everything i do...every move i make. And i .....got to do somthing..but what? Move back to my moms and come every 2nd weekend only? But what if it's still bad? But then i'll be the bad person. In this house...there is soo much lying and hatred...backstabbing...even my little brother and he's 12! But he started all this at a younger age. I feel i hate him sooo much. I get yelled at here..if i say anything negative when he wont leave me alone.

 

So, please i need your advice. thank you

[quankanne]

are you able to go live with your mom or your grandparents -- or even other relatives -- for the next several years, someplace safe where you're not having to put up with the garbage you do at your dad's? if that's an option, seriously consider it -- it doesn't do you any good trying to survive in an unhealthy environment, esp. when you need to be concentrating on your last couple of years of school so you can prepare to live on your own/go to college.

 

talk with your mom and see if you can live with her. If that means only seeing your dad and his family every other week, it doesn't sound like such a bad trade-off. If he tries to make you feel guilty for leaving, don't. You sanity is on the line, not his.