Formerfiveo Posted September 5, 2016 Share Posted September 5, 2016 Most days are good. Some days are great. A few are the teary kind of sad. I know I have no legitimate reason to be sad - Asking him for a divorce was the bravest thing I've ever done, and he's been nothing but kind and understanding about it. It's been 10 months and I'm starting to dip my toes into the dating game. Wow. It's a different ballgame in my 40s. None of it makes me regret my decision to end my marriage. That's not why I'm sad. And none of it makes me miss my ex-husband. It's not that either. Actually, I don't know what it is that's making me sad this weekend. I'll get over it. I'm going for a long bike ride this morning after the gym, and I'm swimming tonight in the river with friends. I'm going to have a good day. I hope everyone on LS also has a good day. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
brokenmom Posted September 7, 2016 Share Posted September 7, 2016 There's no set schedule for the grieving process. And everyone goes through it at their own pace. You may not be upset about losing your ex, maybe you're grieving the relationship and the life you thought would last forever. It's a roller coaster ride and eventually the ups and downs get less dramatic. I'm going through the exact same thing so I know how you feel. Hold on to the good days and hold your head high through the bad! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jeff1690 Posted September 7, 2016 Share Posted September 7, 2016 five0, can I ask you why you chose to divorce your husband? Do you think your feelings of sadness are regret? I know you said you did not want your ex back, but sometimes I guess the heart and mind tell us what we don't want to hear even if something like wanting an ex back is not the right thing to do. I don't want anything to do with my soon to be exW. However there are moments (I am still early on in this) where I really want her back. However, I know what I am wanting existed in the past and the desire to have her back would be the worse thing in the world for me. Usually after a few minutes of sadness I remember the pain and I go on planning a future without her. Just curious if this might be what you are going through. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Formerfiveo Posted September 8, 2016 Author Share Posted September 8, 2016 five0, can I ask you why you chose to divorce your husband? Do you think your feelings of sadness are regret? I know you said you did not want your ex back, but sometimes I guess the heart and mind tell us what we don't want to hear even if something like wanting an ex back is not the right thing to do. I don't want anything to do with my soon to be exW. However there are moments (I am still early on in this) where I really want her back. However, I know what I am wanting existed in the past and the desire to have her back would be the worse thing in the world for me. Usually after a few minutes of sadness I remember the pain and I go on planning a future without her. Just curious if this might be what you are going through. No, no regrets. If anything, even more certainty with each passing day. But...he was/is a good man, but not a good partner in life with me. I think one of the reasons why I feel sad is now that I've stepped back into the dating scene, it's really really hard. There are a lot of jerks out there. I thought men outgrew that phase once they hit 30! lol That's not meant to be a sexist comment - I know there are plenty of jerky women, but the games I'm encountering are unbelievable! I decided to take a step back and stop dating for right now. I'm going to Shenandoah tomorrow for a bike ride and to look at some cabins for sale. Link to post Share on other sites
Jeff1690 Posted September 8, 2016 Share Posted September 8, 2016 All about getting a cabin girl!!! Hopefully when I decided to hit the dating scene all the the things women at a younger age did when I dated they have out grown. We'll see lol. Not ready to date, heck I have not divorced yet but it is coming. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Formerfiveo Posted September 8, 2016 Author Share Posted September 8, 2016 heck I have not divorced yet but it is coming. I'm not either, although we gave each other our blessing to date others. By the end of this year it will be official. We've already split assets already, so all that is left is obtaining a piece of paper. This cabin is on top of a mountain. I foresee a Subaru in my future. lol Link to post Share on other sites
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