Author Woggle Posted July 5, 2005 Author Share Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by d'Arthez The issues, if any, were already there before the show aired. It was not paradise in 1990, was it? I agree. These shows are the symptoms not the cause but they do influence young girls. Sex and the city has some reedeming qualities but desperate housewives is just utter crap. I watched one episode and I actually felt dumber afterwards. Eva Longoria is nice to look at though. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 but desperate housewives is just utter crap Um. It's satire, comedy, and a little drama thrown in. It's not supposed to resemble real life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted July 5, 2005 Author Share Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by d'Arthez Can we please erase John Wayne from history then? What does John Wayne have to do with this? Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by Woggle What does John Wayne have to do with this? As if there are no stereo-types for guys, and young boys. Of course there are. If you start complaining about Sex & the City ruining young girls, we can say the same for guys. Or is the "hero" representative of what a guy should be? I think not. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted July 5, 2005 Author Share Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme Um. It's satire, comedy, and a little drama thrown in. It's not supposed to resemble real life. It is satire but Eva Longoria's character represents the mentality of many married women. Things don't resemble a romance novel 100% of the time so she has the right to cheat witha teenager. This is portrayed as empowering while if the genders were reveresed he would be the biggest jerk in the world. I remember a newsweek article last year about cheating women where it actually seemed to glorify it. Many women feel entitled to cheat. This is the mentality in women many men getting married have to deal with these days. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted July 5, 2005 Author Share Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by d'Arthez As if there are no stereo-types for guys, and young boys. Of course there are. If you start complaining about Sex & the City ruining young girls, we can say the same for guys. Or is the "hero" representative of what a guy should be? I think not. Yes the hero represents what a man should be. I am far from the cowboy type but John Wayne had many good qualities. I do have an issue with many of the racist overtones of John Wayne movies. These shows claim they try to empower women but they don;t. If women want to empower themselves emulate Sandra Day'Oconner or Condaleeza Rice not Carrie. Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 How can a man be a hero these days? Please explain to me. It would make a boring movie. Or even a more boring series. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted July 5, 2005 Author Share Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by d'Arthez How can a man be a hero these days? Please explain to me. It would make a boring movie. Or even a more boring series. What about the firefighters and cops who risked and gave their lives to save people on 9/11? What about our soldiers right now who are fighting for our country? Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by Woggle What about the firefighters and cops who risked and gave their lives to save people on 9/11? Heroes - but live goes on after 9/11. How decently are the widows of these firefighters paid? These firefighterrs may have suffered damage to their health in the whole process. How is all that handled? Being a hero is often a tragic fate. They are not all looking forward to a bright future. Possibly even in the majority of cases to a somewhat grim future. What about our soldiers right now who are fighting for our country? Victims in a political game. Their are neither heroes nor villains - it is not great having to risk your lifes, for something that just lacks all factual foundation. But we are drifting off topic too long. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted July 5, 2005 Author Share Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by d'Arthez Heroes - but live goes on after 9/11. How decently are the widows of these firefighters paid? These firefighterrs may have suffered damage to their health in the whole process. How is all that handled? Being a hero is often a tragic fate. They are not all looking forward to a bright future. Possibly even in the majority of cases to a somewhat grim future. Victims in a political game. Their are neither heroes nor villains - it is not great having to risk your lifes, for something that just lacks all factual foundation. But we are drifting off topic too long. "Heroes - but live goes on after 9/11. How decently are the widows of these firefighters paid? These firefighterrs may have suffered damage to their health in the whole process. How is all that handled? Being a hero is often a tragic fate. They are not all looking forward to a bright future. Possibly even in the majority of cases to a somewhat grim future." But they put themselves on the line to save lives and that is heroic. "Victims in a political game. Their are neither heroes nor villains - it is not great having to risk your lifes, for something that just lacks all factual foundation. But we are drifting off topic too long" Whether or not you agree with the war the soldiers themselves are heroes. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by Woggle Most women these days don't appreciate gentlemenly ways at all Puzzling, because you certainly sound like the perfect gentleman I guess they don't watch enough John Wayne movies. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 RP, I'm sorry to have to say this, but I agree that this sounds bad. He doesn't have a good long term relationship track record and he fits the classic commitmentphobe pattern in other ways too - looking for girls on other continents, speedy declaration of love, sudden cold feet. The best way to cope with CPs in their "run away" mode is to back off and give them space. Let him return to you. This will work in the short term. The broader question is whether you can rely on this guy in the longer term. Especially since you have 2 little lives depending on you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted July 5, 2005 Author Share Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo Puzzling, because you certainly sound like the perfect gentleman I guess they don't watch enough John Wayne movies. I used to be until I grew my balls back. Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme You should at least have gone to his home town and met his friends, colleagues, and family. I personally would want to see how he handles his relationships with his family and friends and how he lives day to day. The red flag for me is his two previous marriages--why did they fail? Has he acknowledged what problems he contributed to his past relationships? Would he be willing to move to your country and continue to have a relationship with you until you both feel ready for marriage, as you can't move to the U.S? When you do speak with him again, I would ask him that. If he still hedges or refuses to make compromises, then you should rethink pursuing a serious future with him. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo RP, I'm sorry to have to say this, but I agree that this sounds bad. He doesn't have a good long term relationship track record and he fits the classic commitmentphobe pattern in other ways too - looking for girls on other continents, speedy declaration of love, sudden cold feet. The best way to cope with CPs in their "run away" mode is to back off and give them space. Let him return to you. This will work in the short term. The broader question is whether you can rely on this guy in the longer term. Especially since you have 2 little lives depending on you. RR, thanks for your reply. As to the long term relationship track record, I know a guy from Chicago who was never married and got married for the first time at age 58 to a woman from another continent (age 48) who he met online. There are no rules. You can't judge somebody's intentions on the basis of his previous relationships. My ex-husband had a stable marriage with his ex-wife who died in a car accident and then left me with two babies almost right away. And I thought he'd be serious with me as he was with his previous wife and I did nothing wrong, we were just so not right for each other. I decided to wait for him to process his feelings, because I love him and believe that he loves me and that he's worth waiting for. If I am wrong I will know sooner or later. Actually the fact that he doesn't rush into a marriage after 10 months makes him more reliable in my eyes, rather than less. He wants to be sure he won't kick me out in the street with my sons in a foreign country. Just like you're advising me here that he could be this and that, I am sure he's been advised all kinds of things about me. Regarding the speedy declaration of love, he said he loved me after about two months so how long should he have waited to say 'I love you'? VirginiaBob met a foreign girl and married her right away. What we're doing doesn't always necessarily match what we consider doing the "right things." Well anyway I decided to wait for him and not pressure him. I hope I'll be his wife some day. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by morrigan I personally would want to see how he handles his relationships with his family and friends and how he lives day to day. The red flag for me is his two previous marriages--why did they fail? Has he acknowledged what problems he contributed to his past relationships? Would he be willing to move to your country and continue to have a relationship with you until you both feel ready for marriage, as you can't move to the U.S? When you do speak with him again, I would ask him that. If he still hedges or refuses to make compromises, then you should rethink pursuing a serious future with him. His two failed marriages mean he is not perfect. I have a failed marriage myself so I am not perfect either. If you owned two companies engaged in electronic machine production and sales, would you leave them and move to another country just to be with your GF? Actually if he would do anything like that I would consider him crazy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted July 5, 2005 Author Share Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by d'Arthez Yes RP told about that in the thread. It seems that he picked not the greatest women to be married to - but picking such women might also be a warning sign in itself. Maybe he learned from his experiences. I know I sure did. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted July 6, 2005 Author Share Posted July 6, 2005 Just look at these facts. Women file 75% of divorces Women cheat just as much as men and 90% of cheating women feel no guilt The courts are biased in women's favor and if you split up she will most likely get the kids A divorce can end up draining you financially for life Most married are angry at their husbands half the time and are almost never happy A man getting maried these days is like playing russian roullette. That being said why are there so many men these days so eager to settle down? What happened to men who just wanted to screw hot chicks? Why would any man subject himself to this. It's just sad seeing what men are turning into. Women are pkaying us and we are letting them. Were disposable to them and they will drop us over anything. Just like that we are removed from our families and we are clueless why. Staying single is the way for men to go in my book. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 6, 2005 Share Posted July 6, 2005 you are correct WOGGLE....in most marriages it is the man who stands to lose the most and the woman who stands to gain the most. marriage is evil. Link to post Share on other sites
billybadass36 Posted July 6, 2005 Share Posted July 6, 2005 If you have the foresight to enter into an antenuptial agreement, then a lot of the uncertainty that goes along with the prospect of a dissolving marriage is taken care of. With regard to child custody, however, the best interests of the children are supposedly the overriding principles and more often than not an equitable joint custody arrangement is at least attempted to be entered into. So, back to the original question, "Why would men marry?"...I don't have the answer to that one. I know I want to marry the woman I'm with right now. I also know that I absolutely am terrified of being an 80 year old man with nobody. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted July 6, 2005 Share Posted July 6, 2005 Why would a woman want to marry anything with ass-hairs? I guess it's a wash. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 6, 2005 Share Posted July 6, 2005 Originally posted by billybadass36 I know I want to marry the woman I'm with right now. I also know that I absolutely am terrified of being an 80 year old man with nobody. Just cause you marry there is no implied guarantee that you will still not be alone at 80. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted July 6, 2005 Author Share Posted July 6, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale Just cause you marry there is no implied guarantee that you will still not be alone at 80. So true. Many women after the kids move out decide they want to go find themselves and leave their husbands. Men should just date a woman with her own place. That way if the relationship goes wrong he can just break up with minimal drama. Link to post Share on other sites
scratch Posted July 6, 2005 Share Posted July 6, 2005 I think most men marry for three reasons: 1. They want to "lock up" the woman for life. This is a dumb reason, because you're no more likely to be able to hang on to a wife than a girlfriend. She has to love you, and keep on loving you. 2. The woman they love demands it, and they give in to make her happy, or becuase they think she'll leave them if they don't. This isn't a bad reason if you feel the costs and benfits of marrying her outweigh the costs and benefits of losing her. However, I don't know if a woman who truly loves you back will put you in that position, and be able to walk away just because you're not willing to legally certify the relationship. 3. You want to have kids and give them (and the world) the appearance of stability. Another good reason, perhaps, assuming that you don't feel you can show the kids enough stability without marriage, and you care what the rest of the world thinks a great deal. Yeah, I don't think I want to marry anytime soon. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 6, 2005 Share Posted July 6, 2005 Originally posted by scratch I think most men marry for three reasons: 1. They want to "lock up" the woman for life. 2. The woman they love demands it, 3. You want to have kids 1. why would any man in his right mind want to spend the rest of his life with the same woman? I could never do that. 2. So what if she demands it. Maybe he should start demanding stuff! 3. Kids are way overrated! Link to post Share on other sites
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