Reasons Why Men Might Not Want to Get Married...

[guest]

Originally posted by Woggle

Just look at these facts.

 

Women file 75% of divorces

Women cheat just as much as men and 90% of cheating women feel no guilt

The courts are biased in women's favor and if you split up she will most likely get the kids

A divorce can end up draining you financially for life

Most married are angry at their husbands half the time and are almost never happy

 

A man getting maried these days is like playing russian roullette. That being said why are there so many men these days so eager to settle down? What happened to men who just wanted to screw hot chicks? Why would any man subject himself to this. It's just sad seeing what men are turning into. Women are pkaying us and we are letting them. Were disposable to them and they will drop us over anything. Just like that we are removed from our families and we are clueless why. Staying single is the way for men to go in my book.

 

Really? Wow! Can you show us where you got those figures? What number is "most" as in "most married are angry..."

 

What happened to men who just wanted to screw hot chicks? Why, they make bad decisions and end up divorced and bitter about it!

 

You really are hurting aren't you? I'm sorry for your pain. It's sad that it has made you see the world so poorly.

There is nothing wrong with staying single, but you would be happier if you could lose the anger and the hurt and learn to truly enjoy being single without equating it to a lack of something. If you were truly happy single, you wouldn't be so bitter about marriage for others.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by moimeme

It could take you years to find one but it's not impossible.

Again a very unrealistic and impractical viewpoint. If people tried to find something close to their perfect mate then few would ever get married. Life is all about compromise, in every area.

[d'Arthez]

Nothing wrong with the idea of marriage. In my youthful days, I was opposed to it, because of its formal nature. Not because of the idea of commitment it expresses.

 

But it does not mean that every marriage is right, or works out fine. As moimeme pointed out, we often think we have found 'love', when it is just a mix of lust, infatuation, and ulterior motives. That is a very shaky basis for any lasting relationship.

 

You bring in half of the relationship in yourself, with your character, your education, your career et cetera. If these things are seriously messed up, your relationship in all likelihood will suffer as a result of it. For any stable relationship you will have to find a partner who is compatible with you. As a person, with his / her character, and anything you deem important in the other. And of course, the higher the demands you would put forward for a prospective partner, the more you need to be able to back your demands up with real qualities.

 

It may be true that some people are simply not meant to be married. But that does not detact from the institution of marriage.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by d'Arthez

But it does not mean that every marriage is right, or works out fine. As moimeme pointed out, we often think we have found 'love', when it is just a mix of lust, infatuation, and ulterior motives. That is a very shaky basis for any lasting relationship.

To this day, D'ARTHEZ....in many eastern cultures people marry for practicality and not for romantic love. The idea of basing a lifelong pair-bond upon romantic love is grossly flawed because love almost always fades between a man and a woman. And then what is left???

 

Even in the Western cultures up until 100 years ago people married for practicality and because they had to marry to survive.

 

Basic survival is a great motivator to stay married. "Love" is not.

[moimeme]

Again a very unrealistic and impractical viewpoint. If people tried to find something close to their perfect mate then few would ever get married. Life is all about compromise, in every area.

 

Sighhhhhhhhh. I never thought, said, or wrote 'perfect'.

 

The idea of basing a lifelong pair-bond upon romantic love is grossly flawed because love almost always fades between a man and a woman

 

Infatuation or 'romantic love' (same thing) fades. There is something better than that; deep abiding love. I don't think many couples achieve it or even strive for it. That's the one that lasts.

[happily_married]

People - men and women - marry because they love each other, can see themselves staying together to for life, and want to make that formal commitment to each other in front of their friends, their family and bank managers and tax accessors. None of those are glib reasons. There is certainly an element of mutual benefit involved, as there is in nearly all human relations, but if you need to be given concrete, material reasons why you should get married, then, frankly, you shouldn't be getting married because you don't understand that it's all about.

 

For what it's worth, I was once pretty anti-marriage too, back when I was a teenager. I couldn't work out why anyone would enter into a committed relationship that would leave you financially vulnerable, exposed to domestic violence, and in which you effectively lost your name and independent identity. I figured any guy worth marrying would be proud to be with a woman who wouldn't want to submit to an archaic, misogynistic institution designed to allow one gender to claim and own another. Then I grew up, fell in love, and realised that the world isn't quite so black and white. If you meet to right woman, you may change your mind too.

 

That said, I warn you: blaming the women you date for all your relationship problems isn't the right way to go about finding a good partner. Most women with any self-worth and intelligence can tell a jerk or a blame-shifter from 100 yards and will run like the wind. Unfortunately, the same rule doesn't seem to apply to men.

[Grinning Maniac]

Oddly enough I happen to agree with most of what Woogle has been saying. I don't have the benefit of having read whatever past thread others seem to be referring to, but I still think he raises some good points. Women do seem to be slowly but surely becoming all of the things they used to hate in us. Humanity does suck. There are always exceptions and bless them, but it's sadly ironic now that women are "equal" that they're seemingly becoming equally repugnant. Yay...now women can be disgusting scumbucket corporate sharks too. Girl power. I suspect that this world will collapse from greed and banality soon enough. There are good people still breathing but I really wonder if it matters anymore. The masses are generally stupid, forgetful, and easily led. We have no real purpose except indulgence if you think about it. The other shoe has to drop sometime. We've inflated our egos and appitites to a saturation point. It's coming. We're so bored that we've turned to jerking off over the lives of overpaid celebrities and the wonders of "reality" tv. Yippee...

 

But anyway, getting off point. There is no reason for a man to get married unless he wants kids. It's too risky and bothersome of a venture otherwise. There are plenty of reasons for *women* to get married. Lots of benefits. Very few for us though. I'm steering clear of it most definately. We've so deeply warped and defiled the meaning of love, let alone marriage, that for a lot of men getting hitched is as logical as keeping the band playing on a sinking ship.

 

What can I personally get out of being married that I cannot get from having a live-in girlfriend? Tax benefit? I see no reason to go through with such a mundane social rite of passage when the deck's stacked against me. If a woman truly loves me, what would marriage matter, as long as we are together? Can any of you truly come up with a reason why it matters aside from the fact that "everybody does it"? Marriage does not prove any level of commitment. Any idiot can see that. So if I love you...truly love you...what is the point of marriage? What would it give you that I already wouldn't be? What more would it do for you than satisfying some need to prove something to society?

 

Before I go, there's something that I must "quote for truth":

 

Remember, being single can be great; and only marry if she will make you happier than you are single.

[Mz. Pixie]

Yes, and why is it that most divorced men have the concept of the exwife sitting around collecting child support which she spends on herself and living in the lap of luxury? I sure wish I could be living like that!

 

As Merin stated earlier- no one wins in a divorce.

 

Another reason more women are leaving and divorcing and having affairs?? 30 years ago women weren't the financial moneymakers that they are now. Women had to stay in marriages for the kids- where the husbands were serial adulterers, alcoholics, or beat them or just neglected them. That's not the case now. More women are leaving bad situations because they can manage on their own. That accounts for the rise in divorce and such.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by Mz. Pixie

More women are leaving bad situations because they can manage on their own. That accounts for the rise in divorce and such.

Very true MZ PIXIE....and what about the kids? There is a whole generation of screwed up children which will turn into screwed up adults which will then run the country down the tubes.

[tiki]

Originally posted by alphamale

Very true MZ PIXIE....and what about the kids? There is a whole generation of screwed up children which will turn into screwed up adults which will then run the country down the tubes.

 

Hey, that's a generalization! Just because you're of divorced parents, doesn't mean you can't be normal. Come on now!

 

 

To the OP: Some people actually feel like marriage is a beautiful institution (sounds like an oxymoron...lol). So what if all your life, you're blessed with beautiful people that won't give up the cooch without any intent to marry? Myself being one of those. I don't sleep with just anyone.

 

Will your views and outlook change?

[Woggle]

Originally posted by Mz. Pixie

Yes, and why is it that most divorced men have the concept of the exwife sitting around collecting child support which she spends on herself and living in the lap of luxury? I sure wish I could be living like that!

 

As Merin stated earlier- no one wins in a divorce.

 

Another reason more women are leaving and divorcing and having affairs?? 30 years ago women weren't the financial moneymakers that they are now. Women had to stay in marriages for the kids- where the husbands were serial adulterers, alcoholics, or beat them or just neglected them. That's not the case now. More women are leaving bad situations because they can manage on their own. That accounts for the rise in divorce and such.

 

Which proves my point that most women marry for money and not the love for a man. If a woman truly loves a man she should love whether she was making money or not. I find that when most women make their own money men become useless which shows what women's true motivation for marrying is.

[tiki]

Originally posted by Woggle

If a woman truly loves a man she should love whether she was making money or not.

 

True Dat! As long as his Mickey D's paycheck can feed the kiddos. I won't starve, no. But I will live half-way comfortably.

[millefiori]

Originally posted by Woggle

Which proves my point that most women marry for money and not the love for a man. If a woman truly loves a man she should love whether she was making money or not. I find that when most women make their own money men become useless which shows what women's true motivation for marrying is.

I'm getting bored with all the mysogynistic men in this forum....

[d'Arthez]

It does not prove a thing, Woggle. Except for the fact that more and more women are becoming financially independent.

 

They don't have to put up with all the crap most men could pull 30 years ago - they can afford to divorce. Why should she not be able to make money? Just because she is female, does not make her unable to perform anything but household chores and popping out babies.

 

There still exist a breed of men who seem to think that as long as they are making the money, they are entitled to their personal servant. Some women are actually okay with that (for whatever archaic reasons) , but don't expect everyone to feel the same way.

[Woggle]

Originally posted by d'Arthez

It does not prove a thing, Woggle. Except for the fact that more and more women are becoming financially independent.

 

They don't have to put up with all the crap most men could pull 30 years ago - they can afford to divorce. Why should she not be able to make money? Just because she is female, does not make her unable to perform anything but household chores and popping out babies.

 

There still exist a breed of men who seem to think that as long as they are making the money, they are entitled to their personal servant. Some women are actually okay with that (for whatever archaic reasons) , but don't expect everyone to feel the same way.

I never said women shouldn't make their own money but most women's motivation for being involved with a man is money. When a woman makes her own money she really has no use for men anymore. They become disposable to her.

[d'Arthez]

In the same way many of the girls in the strip clubs become disposable to men .

[Woggle]

Originally posted by millefiori

I'm getting bored with all the mysogynistic men in this forum....

I am not a misogynist I am a realist.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by tiki

Hey, that's a generalization! Just because you're of divorced parents, doesn't mean you can't be normal. Come on now!

I disagree TIKI....children who have divorced parents have a harder time being normal and get involved in bad activites at a higher rate. Nothing to ruin a 13 yr olds already low self-esteem than the rejection of a parent. Many of the normal, secure and well rounded people come from normal two-parent families. Sure a child can be normal even if he/she has divorced parents....but it is harder.

 

 

Originally posted by Woggle

Which proves my point that most women marry for money and not the love for a man.

True WOGGLE....and let me point out that a woman will almost always leave her man if he loses his income earning potential (aka, job) for a long period of time or if his career goes down the tubes or if he gambles all the familys money away.

[Woggle]

Originally posted by d'Arthez

In the same way many of the girls in the strip clubs become disposable to men .

I wish men would start treating women like that again. Women repsected us more when we did. Now that we have these new age sensitive men women don't respect us anymore. I get way more date ever since I became a jerk than when I was a nice guy.

[d'Arthez]

Quit your whining about women then! If it is okay for men to treat women in the way you describe, it surely is okay for women to do the same thing. If not, you are maintaining double standards at best.

[Woggle]

Originally posted by alphamale

 

 

True WOGGLE....and let me point out that a woman will almost always leave her man if he loses his income earning potential (aka, job) for a long period of time or if his career goes down the tubes or if he gambles all the familys money away.

Because all men are are walking wallets to most women. If I ever do commit to a woman again she will be financially independent. If she doesn't have to depend on me but still wants to commit to me I know why she is there. Those type of women are rare though.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by Woggle

Women repsected us more when we did. Now that we have these new age sensitive men women don't respect us anymore.

I agree WOGGLE....and these dudes are SNAGs, Sensitive New Age Guys

[Woggle]

Originally posted by d'Arthez

Quit your whining about women then! If it is okay for men to treat women in the way you describe, it surely is okay for women to do the same thing. If not, you are maintaining double standards at best.

I lookout for my own gender. I don't believe in expoiting nice women but the no good ones I have no problem using.

[Woggle]

Originally posted by alphamale

I agree WOGGLE....and these dudes are SNAGs, Sensitive New Age Guys

The funny thing is that I hear women whining about where are all the real men and whining about how chivalry is dead. Feminism for years has tried to mold men into what women want us to be and now that they have somewhat suceeded women aren't happy with it. They have turned men into emaculated weenies that nobody respects. I say it's time for men to grow ourt balls back.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by Woggle

Because all men are are walking wallets to most women. If I ever do commit to a woman again she will be financially independent. If she doesn't have to depend on me but still wants to commit to me I know why she is there. Those type of women are rare though.

yes WOGGLE....and the kicker is that these women who are "financially independent" want a man who is of equal or greater stature than them. So a woman who is a lawyer and earns $150,000 per year wants a man who is a physician and earns $300,000 per year. She does not want aything to do with some dude who makes $40,000 per year.

 

Women want it all, they want everything.... they want to make the money but when they do start to make the money they want a dude who makes more money than them ...talk about hypocracy.