Need an Internet Hug

[Cupid's Puppet]

I could have easily written this in the How Are You Coping thread, but today I just want someone to talk to me, tell me something, like it will be okay. Tonight I am feeling really sad, and the last week I have been feeling kinda suicidal.

 

2016 has been a rough year so far. I thought it started off nice. New city, new job, new crib, new manager, new boyfriend. Then things turned badly. New city is boring and lacks diversity. New job is incredibly stressful. New crib is crawling with pests. I cannot even sleep at night. And new boyfriend is now old boyfriend who gave me an STD.

 

So tonight I am just full of so much regret, and I guess what triggered this even more is a conversation that occurred at work. One of my coworkers has a possum problem. So then he and my other coworker talked about how dogs help scare away possums. Then one mentioned how he never had pets and the only reason one should get one is if you didn't have companionship.

 

Then my coworker looks at me and says, "Companionship? He must be talking about you (Cupid's Puppet)." I could not even pretend to laugh. For some reason that comment stung. I never really had anyone make fun of me for being single or suggest I need a dog for companionship. So with the stress of my diagnosis, the job, my apartment, and being somewhere I have absolutely no friends, I regret that I blew it with Ex-Alpha (the ex who dumped me and led me to register on here). I feel like karma has struck me 10 times over, and I am about ready to give up. The only thing stopping me is the thought of hurting my parents.

[ackuric]

Cheer up, it'll be alright *hugs*

 

1st time poster, long time lurker. Hate seeing anyone in pain, being an empathetic person and being in similar pain myself, I can only say, its an uphill battle but all we can do is take it one day at a time, one step at a time. Find your footing and just take baby steps in the right direction.

 

-Exercise(personally just started going to the gym)

-Eat healthy (I need to do this)

-Socialize(even if its just taking a walk in a fairly high traffic area and saying hi to people as you pass by)

-Be present in the moment (takes time and can be hard to pull yourself out of the murky waters we fall in)

-Avoid triggers (some are unavoidable, for me I keep the radio off while driving which is unlike me, but it helps keep my feelings in check as songs manifest way too many emotions)

-Fake it till you make it! (seems corny and isn't full proof but it certainly does no harm imo)

[Cupid's Puppet]

Cheer up, it'll be alright *hugs*

 

1st time poster, long time lurker. Hate seeing anyone in pain, being an empathetic person and being in similar pain myself, I can only say, its an uphill battle but all we can do is take it one day at a time, one step at a time. Find your footing and just take baby steps in the right direction.

 

-Exercise(personally just started going to the gym)

-Eat healthy (I need to do this)

-Socialize(even if its just taking a walk in a fairly high traffic area and saying hi to people as you pass by)

-Be present in the moment (takes time and can be hard to pull yourself out of the murky waters we fall in)

-Avoid triggers (some are unavoidable, for me I keep the radio off while driving which is unlike me, but it helps keep my feelings in check as songs manifest way too many emotions)

-Fake it till you make it! (seems corny and isn't full proof but it certainly does no harm imo)

 

Thanks Ackuric. I had been doing all those things, then I hurt my groin after a hard run and haven't did any exercising for a few days. I try going to meetups to socialize, but in my new city, the meetups usually have a lot of old people who are outside my culture. Thus, there's an age and culture gap. But I still try to get out. Though, after an event is over, I return home alone. The loneliness and other stress in my life have just been overwhelming. I am trying so hard. It's been a while since I have felt this down. I feel that if just one of these stressors were removed, I would feel much better (be great if they were all gone).

[ackuric]

I know exactly what you mean. Sorry to hear about the injury. My position is similar, I can be in an upbeat or at least decent mood and as soon as I return home (a home I lived in with my ex) it all falls apart and I have a tendency to sulk or sit and over think.

 

Progressing in life can be a painful process, and it totally sucks when things aren't going as planned and you don't have a partner to lean on.

 

Its not easy and not what any of us single folks want to hear most the time, but we need to date ourselves, care for ourselves and love ourselves as if you were 'in love' with yourself. Seems selfish and maybe odd but I think it bares significance in succeeding in life. You can't always let the negative spectrum take over and rule you, your best friend or lover wouldn't let that happen right? So you can't either cause you should be your best friend, and your lover right now.

 

Its easier said then done because we find it hard to love ourselves at times and its much easier for someone with an outside perspective or without the shame we carry as people to provide said love.

[Heatemyheart89]

Hugs !

I've had a horrid year so far , got attacked at work , unemployed , depression , split with best friend, tortured over emotionally abusive ex .

 

BUT

Things are starting to turn around very slowly .They can for you ! I thought I had bad luck (I do ). However , there is a study that says lucky people are the ones who think things will go well got them .

 

I would ignore that mans comment . It's not personal , he is an idiot . Some girl told my friends they would make bad parents , when I can't think of a better couple to have kids . It was just a stupid comment , people say them .

 

Have you done something really bad for karma to get you ? Doubt it !Really bad people don't ever think of Karma coming to get them.Focus on small things that make you happy /unhappy bit by bit .

Edited September 7, 2016 by Heatemyheart89

[Sunnymae]

I'm sorry that you have to go through this. Any kind of change or move is stressful, and to compound it a new boyfriend that is now an old boyfriend gave you an STD! Is it curable? Is it Something a treatment can cure?

 

As for your co- workers comment, it could be interpreted as that person might be interested in you, or if not, it could be them projecting their feeling of loneliness onto you. I'd kill them with kindness, as they say. Maybe say something like it's been a rough adjustment, anybody going out tonight for a beer, I could really use an attitude adjustment. ( I have a motto I live by yea it's corny here goes: when God gives you lemons make lemonade) I wouldn't take it to heart what your co-worker said, it's probably their way of hitting on you.

 

Life at times can be a bit overwhelming, but sometimes changing your perspective on things can help. Okay I got another corny cliché that helps here goes: If you don't like something change it, if you can't change it change your attitude about it.

 

Well, I hope you have a better day!

[smudge21]

Life is very much a rollercoaster - you had a few highs and then went shooting downhill. The thing is though, when you're at the bottom, the only way is back up. Plus, sometimes we all need to go through bad times. It humbles us and makes us appreciate when things are going good. Without the negatives we wouldn't welcome the positives so much. Yeah, you got it bad right now, but you know it will get better.

[NVO]

Congratulations, you've just reached rock-bottom!

 

Might sound sarcastic, but I'm being honest with you. You've reached a real low in your life, which means from now on the only way you can go is: up! The first challenge is learning how to be alone. Sure no easy task, but you'll manage.

 

Regadering the comment from you co-worker, I understand this stung. But don't take yourself so serious. Probably was just a joke. I like Sunnymae's comment about the lemons, even though I'm an atheist.

[Cupid's Puppet]

I'm sorry that you have to go through this. Any kind of change or move is stressful, and to compound it a new boyfriend that is now an old boyfriend gave you an STD! Is it curable? Is it Something a treatment can cure?

 

As for your co- workers comment, it could be interpreted as that person might be interested in you, or if not, it could be them projecting their feeling of loneliness onto you. I'd kill them with kindness, as they say. Maybe say something like it's been a rough adjustment, anybody going out tonight for a beer, I could really use an attitude adjustment. ( I have a motto I live by yea it's corny here goes: when God gives you lemons make lemonade) I wouldn't take it to heart what your co-worker said, it's probably their way of hitting on you.

 

Life at times can be a bit overwhelming, but sometimes changing your perspective on things can help. Okay I got another corny cliché that helps here goes: If you don't like something change it, if you can't change it change your attitude about it.

 

Well, I hope you have a better day!

 

Feeling better today. The coworker who made the comment is married and just had his first kid a few months ago. So I hope that wasn flirting. The STD isn't curable but it's not life-threatening or lifelong disease. Surprisingly it doesn't worry me much. I have zero symptoms of it now. I'm more concerned if I contracted something more serious, and I plan to go in for another screening this month just to be on the safe side.

[Cupid's Puppet]

It's crazy looking back at this thread. What brought me back is I find myself in another dark cloud. It's almost like my life will never get better. I know a lot of us joined this site and were told time will heal. And time does heal...then another disaster seems to strike when you put yourself out there.

 

I really thank whoever reads this post because I think I have exhausted my family and friends the two times I talked to them about this Funny because they have been talking to me about their relationship woes for years and I never turned my back on them.

 

This latest episode has to do with a guy I met on vacation. He pursued me. I didn't even flirt. I even walked away after he talked to me. As I continued walking to meet back up with my friend, he called me back to him to ask for my number.

 

You know the rest right? Relationship started on a high, ended on a low. This one really hurts because this guy was telling me he couldn't wait until we were together for good. He applied to jobs in my state, and got two call-backs within 2 weeks. He really didn't have much money, but still flew to visit me. It really seemed promising. This whole finding the one and starting a family thing was looking too easy with him. Like what? A guy who likes me? Willing to move near me? Wants me to mother his kids?

 

Then he wouldn't answer my calls. The only time i heard from him was if he called, which was turning into twice a week. The only communication I would get is maybe one to three texts a day. Sometimes I texted and wouldn't get a response until hours maybe even a day later. Nonetheless, he still was talking about the job and how they should be done with the investigation within a month or so. He still was telling me "miss you", "love you" and future faking.

 

Now if you've read this far, you're probably wondering why I don't get the hint. Because he explained all this low communication was due to his grandmother being sick (she has cancer). They had been in and out of the hospital with her. I really tried to be compassionate about it all. One day he even said he had to work a 16-hour shift. So I accepted that he is super preoccupied with all these other things. But the other day, I just panicked. That intuition that something isn't adding up kicked in. So I texted him (since he doesn't answer my call) that we should call it quits since we don't talk anymore. (sorry it was late when I texted that so I couldn't really think of a more tactful way to write it).

 

I immediately regretted the text especially since he did write me good morning that day. I began to wonder if I was too needy, and what if I sent that text and his grandmother died that day or something else traumatic happened. Since he never responded or responded to my follow-on texts apologizing, I now feel like he hates me and I sabotaged something that could have been great. But there's another part of me that feels he was not talking to me much because he just lost interest, and no one is that busy where they can't make even a little time for someone they supposedly love. So I think I was ghosted, and I feel absolutely terrible after getting up the nerve to put myself out there. I am so naive. Yes, I slept with him. Yes, it was unprotected. So now I grieve this relationship and worry if I caught a fatal disease. Just terrible.

[FMW]

Unfortunately the only thing we can do in these situations is learn and move forward and try very hard not to repeat.

 

As soon as you started feeling something wasn't right that was your clue to take a good hard look at things and act accordingly. Never chase someone who's slowly disappearing on you. I've been there done that and just hope I've learned my lesson.

 

As far as catching a fatal disease, not to kick you when you're down, but especially after your other experience with the boyfriend who gave you an STD, protect yourself and until you both get tested and are sure you are clean, use condoms. I assume your earlier STD was cured or otherwise you wouldn't be putting someone else at risk by having unprotected sex with them.

 

Don't reach out to him again, delete his contact information so you won't be tempted.