Lostgirl186 Posted September 7, 2016 Share Posted September 7, 2016 So as I sit here, on day 8 of forced NC (MM blocked me after our last sexual encounter with no closure no anything..) I am wondering how many of you have been blocked by your MM,exMM, MW?? Did it last or did he /she eventually unblock and try to contact you again? Were you able to remain strong if they did and not reply?? My emotions change drastically from day to day, but right now I'm so angry I could punch him in the n*ts if given the opportunity. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted September 7, 2016 Share Posted September 7, 2016 I say YOU block MM and never worry if he unblocks. Just keep yours blocked 8 Link to post Share on other sites
imperfectangel Posted September 7, 2016 Share Posted September 7, 2016 So as I sit here, on day 8 of forced NC (MM blocked me after our last sexual encounter with no closure no anything..) I am wondering how many of you have been blocked by your MM,exMM, MW?? Did it last or did he /she eventually unblock and try to contact you again? Were you able to remain strong if they did and not reply?? My emotions change drastically from day to day, but right now I'm so angry I could punch him in the n*ts if given the opportunity. My now ex mm has me blocked on what's app/fb for "insurance" apparently. Little does he know I found his wife's. Oops lol He hasn't blocked my email but he has ignored me - longest time was around 8 weeks which killed me Even though you know you are blocked do not message him. If he unblocks you, you don't want him to receive hundred of texts from you. When he does reappear, which he most likely will, do not respond no matter how much you want to 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted September 7, 2016 Share Posted September 7, 2016 I hope he keeps you blocked forever. That might make you realise that you need to look at yourself, rather than him. It might also help you get to know who you really are, and why you behave the way that you do. That would be good, wouldn't it? Take care. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
MidnightBlue1980 Posted September 7, 2016 Share Posted September 7, 2016 So as I sit here, on day 8 of forced NC (MM blocked me after our last sexual encounter with no closure no anything..) I am wondering how many of you have been blocked by your MM,exMM, MW?? Did it last or did he /she eventually unblock and try to contact you again? Were you able to remain strong if they did and not reply?? My emotions change drastically from day to day, but right now I'm so angry I could punch him in the n*ts if given the opportunity. He's not IT savvy, so he just ignored me. To answer you, after 5 long months he resurfaced with apologies, more lies and a request to be friends (and for a picture of my boobs). No picture was sent (sorry dude) but I was elated he was speaking to me again and tried his friends thing for about 6 weeks, thinking something was better than nothing. I changed my mind and just went NC to heal and focus on my marriage and my own life. I blocked him on FB, defriended him on FitBit and when he emails me a pointless email about our mutual activity, I do not respond. In person I am polite as he comes smack right up to me but there are no conversations. I walk away. I do not say hello, how are you, or goodbye. I do not care how he is. He is irrelevant to me. I went back and forth between sadness and anger but now I am indifferent. It is a process. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
MidnightBlue1980 Posted September 7, 2016 Share Posted September 7, 2016 My now ex mm has me blocked on what's app/fb for "insurance" apparently. Little does he know I found his wife's. Oops lol He hasn't blocked my email but he has ignored me - longest time was around 8 weeks which killed me Even though you know you are blocked do not message him. If he unblocks you, you don't want him to receive hundred of texts from you. When he does reappear, which he most likely will, do not respond no matter how much you want to If you must respond, send him a picture of your husband, or your middle finger! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Forever broken Posted September 8, 2016 Share Posted September 8, 2016 I was also blocked from every method of communication. Is been a year now. I really could use another phone or private number to call him, make up a new Facebook or email address to reach him, but why put too much energy on someone who just used and discarded me like a tissue? And moreover has made it clear I mean nothing to him through his actions. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Adoraxx Posted September 8, 2016 Share Posted September 8, 2016 He hasn't blocked me , he doesn't have a clue that you can block people online. But he has blocked me out of his life otherwise, I feel like I'm dead to him 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whathappened610 Posted September 8, 2016 Share Posted September 8, 2016 I have also been blocked . Mine happened just recently on the one and only social media he has. That was super hard for me. He deleted me three days ago and that was the 2 week mark of our NC. And this is also the longest we have been NC. I don't wanna take over your thread but I do wonder what is the purpose of blocking if there was never any big blowouts. I know some will say the reason is bc they are choosing their wife.. But can't u choose ur wife and still remain "friends" with ex AP on social media (with no contact)? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 8, 2016 Share Posted September 8, 2016 I I know some will say the reason is bc they are choosing their wife.. But can't u choose ur wife and still remain "friends" with ex AP on social media (with no contact)? Of course not because the AP will want more than to be friends. If a MM blocked me I would be so embarrassed I would never want contact with him again. Ladies, where is your pride? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
imperfectangel Posted September 8, 2016 Share Posted September 8, 2016 You could ask the same as a bs that stays with their WS. Where is their pride? Hmm Affairs aren't black and white, here technicolor, every shade of every colour You cannot enforce normal relationship rules when it comes to a affair 5 Link to post Share on other sites
imperfectangel Posted September 8, 2016 Share Posted September 8, 2016 Lobe is back!!!!!!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted September 8, 2016 Share Posted September 8, 2016 I know some will say the reason is bc they are choosing their wife.. *But can't u choose ur wife and still remain "friends" with ex AP on social media (with no contact)? *Friendship is something that exists on a much higher level than an affair. Take care. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lobe Posted September 8, 2016 Share Posted September 8, 2016 I have also been blocked . Mine happened just recently on the one and only social media he has. That was super hard for me. He deleted me three days ago and that was the 2 week mark of our NC. And this is also the longest we have been NC. I don't wanna take over your thread but I do wonder what is the purpose of blocking if there was never any big blowouts. I know some will say the reason is bc they are choosing their wife.. But can't u choose ur wife and still remain "friends" with ex AP on social media (with no contact)? As a BS, let me just say that any WS who dares to maintain an open social media account with their AP is risking their marriage, their BS's trust, and their AP's heart all over again. Regardless of the circumstances, regardless of how cruel it seems, being "just friends" after ANY breakup, not just an affair, usually doesn't work because the dumpee will always cling to hope that the dumper changes their mind and that leaves them in the peculiar circumstances we find so many of the OW on this board - waiting, indefinitely, for their married lover to love them enough or more than their BS to "pick" them. I think the WSs who DO keep their APs on a string are the reprehensible ones, not the ones who say look, I have to make a choice and my choice is my marriage and then go dark, forever, period. It's not exactly "closure" (is there really ever pure clean closure after a relationship ends?) but at least it's not manipulative. For the AP, think of it as the same thing as keeping a cigarette in your glovebox or a balloon of heroin in the toilet tank because what can it hurt if I have it under control? It's just not safe. Or smart. Or sane. Why would you keep a lit fuse like that so close to your heart? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whathappened610 Posted September 8, 2016 Share Posted September 8, 2016 Of course not because the AP will want more than to be friends. If a MM blocked me I would be so embarrassed I would never want contact with him again. Ladies, where is your pride? Stillafool- Being the AP/OW I can assure u that I don't want more than to be friends- not at this point. I was only friends with my exMM for over 16 yrs before our 8 mon EA. And I still genuinely care about him as a person. I would like him to still be able to know what's going on in my life and vice Versa. But I am also the type of girl who can be friends with my ex no problem. He had told me that if he and I didn't end up together he wasn't gonna be able to be "just my friend" bc he didn't wanna see me happy with someone else. I am a pretty attractive female with quite a bit of confidence and pride. But it still hurts when someone you had a deep friendship/connection/A/R with blocks you or deletes you. It's one of those things that's easy to give advice about but when it happens to u, you will feel the dig. Trust me! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
eye of the storm Posted September 8, 2016 Share Posted September 8, 2016 Stillafool- Being the AP/OW I can assure u that I don't want more than to be friends.... I would like him to still be able to know what's going on in my life and vice Versa. But I am also the type of girl who can be friends with my ex no problem..... ...it still hurts when someone you had a deep friendship/connection/A/R with blocks you or deletes you. It's one of those things that's easy to give advice about but when it happens to u, you will feel the dig. Trust me! You say you can assure us that you don't want to be more than friends. But the fact that this bothers you so much is telling. We lie to ourselves about our motives as often as we lie to others. You want him to know what is going on with your life and you want to know what is going on in his. Well, he doesn't and his wants, in this matter, trumps yours. He no longer, for what ever reason, wants to know or for you to know. You say you can be friends with exs. So can I. But he chooses to not be your friend anymore. I am aware that it hurts. I also know the pain of having someone I love choose to walk away. But a lot of the advice on here may seem "easily" given, but, trust me,...most was learned thru very hard lessons. You were in a fantasy, the fantasy has ended. Chose to take action and block him. That way you are not putting your life on hold waiting for him to unblock you. Why are you giving him that power over you anyway? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lobe Posted September 8, 2016 Share Posted September 8, 2016 So as I sit here, on day 8 of forced NC (MM blocked me after our last sexual encounter with no closure no anything..) I am wondering how many of you have been blocked by your MM,exMM, MW?? Did it last or did he /she eventually unblock and try to contact you again? Were you able to remain strong if they did and not reply?? My emotions change drastically from day to day, but right now I'm so angry I could punch him in the n*ts if given the opportunity. The point of NC is not to trigger a response from the other party. NC is about erecting a fortress around yourself, about reclaiming your power, about ensuring that your xAP does not have access to your head to mess with it. His going NC might be about manipulation or it might be him trying to gain control of his addiction to the affair as well. As long as you're holding onto an ounce of hope, a twinkling desire for the tiniest ego kibble that he could possibly throw, even if that's "Sorry, I texted as an accident" (which we all know is bull patootie) you will let him do the blocking and unblocking. When you are truly done with him, you will be the one blocking him and you'll feel like a million bucks doing it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lostgirl186 Posted September 8, 2016 Author Share Posted September 8, 2016 I guess my feelings are that its demeaning when someone has seen the most private parts of you (literally) and there is no fight or no dday, no explanation other than "your self control sucks" and blocks you. I guess I felt like it should have been worth a conversation. My AP, exAP, whatever the hell he is- always goes cold after any sort of encounter, especially a physical one. He freaks out, blames it all on me, and then says it can never happen again.. But this is the first time he has blocked me... the only inkling of an explanation I have gotten is that if he talks to me, there is a higher chance that he will slip up again. It's like someone else said, it's numbing and horrible when it happens to you, and it's hard NOT to take offense to it. Maybe that does make me weak, and pathetic, but it's the way I feel. I'm not proud of it, but I laid it out there because I wanted some insight. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted September 8, 2016 Share Posted September 8, 2016 i just do not understand what in the fing world is "friendly" about someone that is married banging a woman behind their spouses back? how does that make them "friends"? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Patrice Posted September 8, 2016 Share Posted September 8, 2016 Now, he can see a sexy woman he can't have ... screw em. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidnightBlue1980 Posted September 8, 2016 Share Posted September 8, 2016 I have also been blocked . Mine happened just recently on the one and only social media he has. That was super hard for me. He deleted me three days ago and that was the 2 week mark of our NC. And this is also the longest we have been NC. I don't wanna take over your thread but I do wonder what is the purpose of blocking if there was never any big blowouts. I know some will say the reason is bc they are choosing their wife.. But can't u choose ur wife and still remain "friends" with ex AP on social media (with no contact)? No, you can't remains friends on social media or in real life. This goes for any relationship that is over, whether in an A or not. Recovering from a break-up has some specific rules you need to follow and that is one of them. As for the why, since there was no blowout, it is probably to get over that person, no new hurts. Seeing the person on social media makes you feel bad. So actually if you think about it, him blocking you shows you that he feels bad, that he is human. As opposed to say my exMM who is soulless. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy47 Posted September 8, 2016 Share Posted September 8, 2016 No, you can't remains friends on social media or in real life. This goes for any relationship that is over, whether in an A or not. Recovering from a break-up has some specific rules you need to follow and that is one of them. As for the why, since there was no blowout, it is probably to get over that person, no new hurts. Seeing the person on social media makes you feel bad. So actually if you think about it, him blocking you shows you that he feels bad, that he is human. As opposed to say my exMM who is soulless. xMM always said he would never block me because he always wanted me to be able to see him......"Oh look at me and what I am doing!!!" Poppy. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
MidnightBlue1980 Posted September 8, 2016 Share Posted September 8, 2016 I guess my feelings are that its demeaning when someone has seen the most private parts of you (literally) and there is no fight or no dday, no explanation other than "your self control sucks" and blocks you. I guess I felt like it should have been worth a conversation. My AP, exAP, whatever the hell he is- always goes cold after any sort of encounter, especially a physical one. He freaks out, blames it all on me, and then says it can never happen again.. But this is the first time he has blocked me... the only inkling of an explanation I have gotten is that if he talks to me, there is a higher chance that he will slip up again. It's like someone else said, it's numbing and horrible when it happens to you, and it's hard NOT to take offense to it. Maybe that does make me weak, and pathetic, but it's the way I feel. I'm not proud of it, but I laid it out there because I wanted some insight. Of course you can take offense to it. I know your story and you are justified in your feelings. But you have to stop expecting him to act like someone in a normal relationship. There is nothing normal about these things. The question is, if he is cold to you after every encounter, why do you keep going back? He's not going to change. You have to change. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MidnightBlue1980 Posted September 8, 2016 Share Posted September 8, 2016 xMM always said he would never block me because he always wanted me to be able to see him......"Oh look at me and what I am doing!!!" Poppy. Exactly. xMM lied to me pretending he would leave our group so I could stay, meanwhile he secretly renewed for another 2 years. And I was the one who blocked and deleted him. If I emailed him right now, he would respond with a bunch of exclamation points and smilies and probably tell me to have a good day, like some mental patient. He's a jerk who doesn't care about anyone but his own needs. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lobe Posted September 8, 2016 Share Posted September 8, 2016 As opposed to say my exMM who is soulless. Oh, midnight - I have missed you lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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