stillafool Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 but why would texting him for a meet up be a bad idea? After all, I didnt contact him too. Or should I atleast keep my pride. Meet up for what? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 but what if he wants to work things out and cant contact me because he is blocked everywhere? Does he know where you live? Does he have your phone number? If he wanted you he would come to your house or call you on the phone. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 Meet up for what? A quickie in the back of his car if he gets his way... Link to post Share on other sites
bighearted Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 I was ghosted by a girl I was seeing for several months. It's been longer since I've heard from her than I was actually dating her for and here's the truth in my case: I still have thought about her every single day. The way I left it was trying to seek an explanation by sending her a very long text, asking her to just tell me the reason she decided to give us up like she did. That was 3 months or so ago, and I never heard from her. Until this weekend. I ran into her out Saturday night. She texted me after we noticed each other. I confronted her face to face and made it clear that what she did (ghosting me) was childish, irresponsible, and cowardly. Here's another truth: It did feel good. I felt like the thoughts that had built up and bothered me for so long and what I had thought about every single day since, they were lifted off my shoulders and put on hers, atleast for that brief moment. (Whether she went home and just threw them away immediately or not, which is a likely possibility when it comes to someone that could walk away so easy) It didn't matter. I said it. And I'm glad I did. And was able to maintain grace as I did. That being said, here's what I suggest: Maintain no contact. Do not send him a text. Do not send him a letter. Do not call him. You are still holding onto some hope that he will change his mind, evident by you worrying that he will contact you but you "blocking him ruined everything." As others have said, he will beat down your door if he wanted you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nadine123 Posted October 24, 2016 Author Share Posted October 24, 2016 @toodalo that shag comment was unnecessary. Ive mainted NC, not contacted him, blocked all his friends, so I can atleast come here and vent. I think just part of me feels if I told him what I have inside and explain to him what a disgusting person he is Ill feel alot better. I was just holding on to some hope because his best friend starting following me everywhere on social media 2 months after he ghosted but I blocked her. Im going to my gym classes again today and moving my ass. Im truly trying everything I can, but the first minutes of waking up are the worst. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted October 25, 2016 Share Posted October 25, 2016 @toodalo that shag comment was unnecessary. Ive mainted NC, not contacted him, blocked all his friends, so I can atleast come here and vent. I think just part of me feels if I told him what I have inside and explain to him what a disgusting person he is Ill feel alot better. I was just holding on to some hope because his best friend starting following me everywhere on social media 2 months after he ghosted but I blocked her. Im going to my gym classes again today and moving my ass. Im truly trying everything I can, but the first minutes of waking up are the worst. Nadine you may not have liked it but THAT IS HOW HE IS TREATING YOU. You have stood up for yourself to me now do it to him and DO NOT ACCEPT this behavior. Harsh as it is that IS more than likely the way he views you. It is going to hurt for a while but keep at it. And keep your head in reality because that shag comment is the reality with that guy. He really is that thoughtless and crass. You are doing brilliantly just do not let yourself slip. Remember how you felt when you read that comment. The anger, the disdain? Now direct all that towards him. He is now lower than poop on your shoe. Keep going. I know it is hard but is does get better. If you "need" to tell him then write it all down in a letter then throw that letter away. Do not send it. If you send it the only person who loses is you. But if you write it and get it all out. Say everything you need to say then throw it away then its out of your system. Its gone. Just do not contact him or his sneaky friend... They are beneath you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nadine123 Posted October 25, 2016 Author Share Posted October 25, 2016 no worries and thank you for taking the time to reply to my comment Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted October 25, 2016 Share Posted October 25, 2016 no worries and thank you for taking the time to reply to my comment Keep reminding yourself Nadine that that is all he sees you as... There will be other weak moments when you want to reach out or you need a hug but that guy really is NOT the guy to do it. He is just pathetic. You deserve better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nadine123 Posted November 11, 2016 Author Share Posted November 11, 2016 Hi guys having a horrible day today. Saw my ex with his new girlfriend today. they didnt see me thanks god. After all the improvement I was making I suddenly went back to point zero. I just cant understand how he doesnt care about me at all. I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 Hi guys having a horrible day today. Saw my ex with his new girlfriend today. they didnt see me thanks god. After all the improvement I was making I suddenly went back to point zero. I just cant understand how he doesnt care about me at all. I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I'm sorry you had to see them. I've been there and it feels like 1000 kicks in the gut. It will pass. This is actually good because it's another way that solidifies your reality and to accept letting go. It's normal. It's life. Relationships end. People move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nadine123 Posted November 18, 2016 Author Share Posted November 18, 2016 Hi everyone I was wondering if it is a good idea to text him and ask him to meet up for a conversation. The thing is Im sure he will answer. Please dont attack me I know its pathetic but I think it would help me to move on. It has been four months already and I really dont hate him, I just need closure. I know my closure should be that he doesnt want me but I just have some questions that need to be answered. Ps. Ive been maintaining NC for four months now, no snooping on social media, deleted and blocked all his friends as well. Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nadine123 Posted November 18, 2016 Author Share Posted November 18, 2016 im so tired of feeling this way Link to post Share on other sites
niji Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 If it makes you feel better and help you "move on", then sure. I know when I attempted NC then broke it, it held me back from moving on. But on the other hand, seeing how they act and getting closure (eg how much you (don't) mean to them, how silly they act, how they still try to string you along despite rejecting you) helped me to never look back. I just felt like I knew more about the person during that period, than during the years being friends with them. I NC'ed truly (absolutely 0 contact) with another person, and I still think about them with the fondest memories. That's what happens when there's no closure - in the end you'll only remember the good times. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nadine123 Posted November 18, 2016 Author Share Posted November 18, 2016 Hi there, thanks for getting back. My only concern is that it would make me look weak and he is seeing someone else. I just feel like speaking to him will truly move on but then he might not answer and that would destroy me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nadine123 Posted November 19, 2016 Author Share Posted November 19, 2016 anyone. please? Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted November 19, 2016 Share Posted November 19, 2016 I dno,things like how I used to flip on him for saying he's coming to see me and then ditches me and goes out with other people. How he never used to call back when I used to call him. I also flipped out that last time we spoke because it took him 2 days to contact me when he was online everywhere. I dno, just blaming myself although it was a reaction to his actions and wondering if me flipping out pushed him away that last time which led to ghosting. You were reacting to his poor and erratic actions. That is completely normal. He was the guy letting you down. It is not surprising you reacted as you did. You are trying to make sense of it all, which is understandable. All I can say is, some things you cannot ever make sense of it but just have to accept they will remain like that. It is just too tiring to keep dwelling on something that doesn't make sense and he is not worth your efforts. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nadine123 Posted November 19, 2016 Author Share Posted November 19, 2016 So it's not a good idea to reach out for closure? Link to post Share on other sites
anna121 Posted November 19, 2016 Share Posted November 19, 2016 No. (10 characters) 3 Link to post Share on other sites
DarrenB Posted November 19, 2016 Share Posted November 19, 2016 So it's not a good idea to reach out for closure? Don't seek closure from him, make your own. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nadine123 Posted November 19, 2016 Author Share Posted November 19, 2016 just out of curiosity what is the 10 characters thing? Link to post Share on other sites
DarrenB Posted November 19, 2016 Share Posted November 19, 2016 just out of curiosity what is the 10 characters thing? You need a minimum of 10 characters (letters) to post a reply. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted November 19, 2016 Share Posted November 19, 2016 So it's not a good idea to reach out for closure? Closure? He treated you like a jackass. That's your closure. You're looking to be validated by him. Your ego just can't accept that he rejected you. This has nothing to do with closure. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nadine123 Posted November 19, 2016 Author Share Posted November 19, 2016 zahara i always agree with you but i was rejected before and wasnt that miserable. its been 4 months, is it normal to still be that upset?? Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted November 21, 2016 Share Posted November 21, 2016 zahara i always agree with you but i was rejected before and wasnt that miserable. its been 4 months, is it normal to still be that upset?? It takes however long it takes. I'm not sure why you're obsessing but that's something you have to figure from within. You don't reconcile your inability to get over this by reaching out to him. He has nothing to give you. There's no closure here except for you accepting him for who he is and realizing the reality of what was. Sometimes the short relationships are harder to get over because you were full of hope for the potential you saw only for it to be short lived. It's hard to let go. I think you're also obsessing about why he came back and you're curious or maybe desperate to believe that maybe he truly wanted you back. Remember he was with your friend. He ghosted you. I'm not sure what you seek from him. Someone who treated you like crap can't resolve your pain or confusion. You can't seek comfort from what hurts you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nadine123 Posted November 21, 2016 Author Share Posted November 21, 2016 thank you as always zahara 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts