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Feeling guilty for some reason **updated**

Nadine123

By Nadine123,
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Nadine123

Nadine123

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Thank you for your advice. I just went running and was able to calm down a bit.

 

I think Im just going to ignore it (sorry I made such a big deal). If I contact him now it would ruin everything I did the past four months. its obvious he doesnt see an issue with his actions (ghosting me, using my personal pics without permission) so there is really no point. He might even read my message and not do anything just to ignore me.

 

All I can say is that Im glad this person is not in my life or not, ghosting or not.

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Art_Critic

Art_Critic

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Hey Nadine... you aren't alone on Thanksgiving, the people here on LS are with you.. don't check his Social Media.. it will set you back..

 

*Hugz*

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Sweetfish

Sweetfish

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He is blocked everywhere, I was going to use a friends account. creepy, i know.

 

Find some good movies to watch.. watch a new season of some show you never seen like dexter :)

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TexasGuy12

TexasGuy12

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make me not do it. Im having a really tough day today because im alone on thanksgiving.

 

I've been there. I know the feeling. I think subconsciously we think we'll see a sign that they aren't happy or that they will have some kind of secret code to tell us they want to hear from us.

 

That's not rational. It's not true. Even if your ex isn't doing well without you, they will act like they are on social media. Everyone's lives are great on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.

 

It won't make you feel better. It's impossible. It will only make you feel worse.

 

My first 45 day period of NC was horrible because I kept looking. My most recent is going way better because I have no idea what she's up to, where she is, who she's hanging with. No clue. She could be dead for all I know.

 

I know it's hard to stay away. I know it's so easy to just click on it and worry about the consequences. Just know that staying away is the right decision and we're all here to support you.

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Blanco

Blanco

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The absolute best-case scenario I've ever faced when checking an ex's social media is temporary relief. At worst, gut-wrenching dismay.

 

It took me a lot of burning my hand on the stove incidents to finally wise up and accept that for as difficult as resisting temptation to check up on them is, it's child's play to the potential disillusion that may await me if I cave.

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Satu

Satu

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Checking your ex's social media is the emotional equivalent of hitting yourself on the kneecap with a hammer.

 

Invoke your self-discipline and leave it alone.

 

 

Take care.

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Frozensushi

Frozensushi

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Checking your ex's social media is the emotional equivalent of hitting yourself on the kneecap with a hammer.

 

I couldn't have described it better. That's truly what it's like. It's so self-defeating.

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VeveCakes

VeveCakes

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Checking your ex's social media is the emotional equivalent of hitting yourself on the kneecap with a hammer.

 

Invoke your self-discipline and leave it alone.

 

 

Take care.

 

Legit.....I have spent the last two days doing this and I had to delete FB and IG to make myself stop.

 

DONT DO IT.

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DeepVibeZ

DeepVibeZ

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I haven't looked for over 4 months, but I blocked her and then deactivated FB. Sadly, she was still friends with my family members who told me that she was love-bombing my replacement and going so OTT with it, they thought she was unhinged and eventually blocked her too.

 

That said, Fakebook is the bastion of utter bollocks.

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ohleahmarie

ohleahmarie

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Ugh yes. I made this mistake this morning and I promise you it was bad. Very, very bad. I even texted.. but we did run into each other last night and I was trying to clear the air. Should have left it alone. You can do it. Stay strong!

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Kayley

Kayley

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I cave far too often and look at his instagram because it's public.

 

His facebook is easier to avoid. It does nothing but make me feel like crap even though he puts little on there. I'm trying to limit myself & eventually stop doing it.

 

Stay strong!

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  • 7 months later...
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Nadine123

Nadine123

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Hi all

 

so it's been a year since I got ghosted. After numerous attempts of him reaching out, I completely rejected them all and picked up his call after a year.

 

I have forgiven him and moved on with my life. We are meeting up tmw so my question is how should i act? should i be normal and friendly? I dont want him back so I dont see why I cant be friendly.

 

Just looking for advice from people who met up with their ex after a long time as FRIENDS. Have an awesome day all :)

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Zahara

Zahara

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Hi all

 

so it's been a year since I got ghosted. After numerous attempts of him reaching out, I completely rejected them all and picked up his call after a year.

 

I have forgiven him and moved on with my life. We are meeting up tmw so my question is how should i act? should i be normal and friendly? I dont want him back so I dont see why I cant be friendly.

 

Just looking for advice from people who met up with their ex after a long time as FRIENDS. Have an awesome day all :)

 

Is this the ex that disrespected you several times, the one that you stated ghosted you on your birthday and you then found out he was seeing someone else? The one you claimed to be narcissistic?

 

If so, you're making a terrible decision based on unhealthy boundaries. You can forgive people but that does not justify allowing them back into your life again. Especially someone that has had a history of treating you poorly.

 

And you don't be friends with them. I think you're fooling yourself. Time to be honest in why you need to have someone like him back in your life. And no, he is not your "friend".

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Nadine123

Nadine123

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Hi Zahara,

 

nice to speak with you again. Im leaving the country for good now so trust me I don't want him back.

 

Im also in love with someone else and he's seeing someone else. I honestly think a drink wont hurt anyone. It's good to move on and trust me when I say I have no feelings for him whatsoever.

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Zahara

Zahara

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Hi Zahara,

 

nice to speak with you again. Im leaving the country for good now so trust me I don't want him back.

 

Im also in love with someone else and he's seeing someone else. I honestly think a drink wont hurt anyone. It's good to move on and trust me when I say I have no feelings for him whatsoever.

 

That's great news that you're moving and starting life anew.

 

I hope your new boyfriend is aware of you meeting an ex for drinks?

 

Regardless, the desire to still want to be friends with someone that treated you poorly and is narcissistic, is indicative that you have an unhealthy boundary system. It doesn't matter that he has a girlfriend and you have a boyfriend or if it will hurt anyone -- those are poor justifications -- what matters is that you are still in a mindset, that still seeks validation/a connection with someone that is toxic. You need to ask yourself why.

 

This isn't just about a drink but what you've gained from past lessons learned and how you apply it in your future relationships and your level of growth in becoming emotionally healthy and wise.

 

Good luck to you.

Edited by Zahara
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stillafool

stillafool

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Hi Zahara,

 

nice to speak with you again. Im leaving the country for good now so trust me I don't want him back.

 

Im also in love with someone else and he's seeing someone else. I honestly think a drink wont hurt anyone. It's good to move on and trust me when I say I have no feelings for him whatsoever.

 

So why waste your time with this ex who didn't give a hoot about you? If you are meeting him you haven't moved on. Anything he had to say to you could have been said thru text and phone. Now he's back to qualifying for a thread on LS. Why don't you just let it go? If you truly had no feelings for him you wouldn't ask us what to say you would tell him to f-off. You wouldn't need to once again discuss him. Furthermore, why wasn't he blocked from contacting you?

Edited by stillafool
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Nadine123

Nadine123

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He contacted me from a new number and yes the guy Im seeing knows.

 

okay ure right, thanks for giving me an insight i wasnt looking at. Hope ure all well xx

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