I feel like women are only interested in me because of my looks. Help!

[California91]

[personal information redacted]

 

I feel like women are only interested in me because of my looks. I have done some modeling, and many women see six-packs abs and immediately throw themselves at me. I am actually a Christian, and I would like to be with someone who shares the same values, but the women who are interested in me only want to have sex! Also, most of the women that do share my values aren't interested because they take one look and assume that I'm a jerk. Abs don't make me a bad person! Does anyone have any advice they could give me?

[RecentChange]

Well, just like when an attractive female needs to cultivate her personality and interests to be seen as something more than a piece of meat - perhaps you need to do the same?

 

Not to poke fun at you, come on - you choose a shirtless profile pic. Is this how you choose to display yourself to the world? It's kinda the same as a female showing tons of clevage and then complaining that men look at her boobs and don't consider her mind.

 

Also - your interests, "going to whole foods" is a top interest / past time of yours?

 

What do you like to talk about? What do you read? What do you study?

 

If you want to be seen as more than just a pretty face - you need show that you are more than abs, and working on abs.

 

Lastly, how old are you, and where do you usually meet women?

[sc0316]

Easy fix: get rid of your abs

[California91]

I must look like a complete idiot. Like I said, I'm a photographer, so I have thousands of photos on my computer. I clicked on the wrong one, and I didn't notice since the image on the upload screen is so small! ;P

 

I know it's weird, but I actually do love going to Whole Foods. I used to work there when I was younger, so maybe that's why.

 

Thanks for the tips on updating my profile! Like I said, I am new here, so I just wasn't sure how much information I should put.

 

@sc0316 - that's what my sister said LOL!

Edited September 8, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Merge

[normal person]

It never hurts to cultivate some interesting personality traits, it gives woman some more "bait." Just make sure your looks aren't all there is to you.

 

In my experience this sort of thing usually dies off after woman enter their mid-20s. They start developing different priorities and different senses of themselves and whereas once they would fawn over a guy they thought was cute, they suddenly have other criteria or other things that affect their thought processes. Sometimes they don't want to expend an undue amount of effort, sometimes they'll worry good looking men are more apt to cheat on them, sometimes they'll be insecure about themselves and want to "be the pretty one," etc. It will have its own unique set of challenges. Once you enter the mid to late twenties demographics, women won't be impressed that you have abs if you work at Whole Foods or as a freelance photographer.

Edited September 8, 2016 by normal person

[joseb]

Enjoy it while it lasts!

[LookAtThisPOst]

[personal information redacted]

 

I feel like women are only interested in me because of my looks. I have done some modeling, and many women see six-packs abs and immediately throw themselves at me. I am actually a Christian, and I would like to be with someone who shares the same values, but the women who are interested in me only want to have sex! Also, most of the women that do share my values aren't interested because they take one look and assume that I'm a jerk. Abs don't make me a bad person! Does anyone have any advice they could give me?

 

Enjoy it while it lasts!

 

Agreed, I wish I had your problem.

 

 

This a humble brag post? lol

[California91]

I hope that I my post didn't come off as bragging. That really was not my intention if it did. I know that it might seem petty to complain about having too many women being interested in me, but anyone who knows me knows that I'm not that kind of guy. Anyway, I know that I will find the right woman someday!

[stillafool]

Go to church to find women you are compatible with. You won't find them in clubs.

[California91]

Definitely. I don't really go to clubs or anything similar, but I could put in more effort to talk to people at Church. I'll just have to break out of my introvert shell LOL!

[an0nym0us123]

[personal information redacted]

 

I feel like women are only interested in me because of my looks. I have done some modeling, and many women see six-packs abs and immediately throw themselves at me. I am actually a Christian, and I would like to be with someone who shares the same values, but the women who are interested in me only want to have sex! Also, most of the women that do share my values aren't interested because they take one look and assume that I'm a jerk. Abs don't make me a bad person! Does anyone have any advice they could give me?

 

[] nice problem to have! i have 6 pack abs, chest, arms, lats etc only find it a turnoff to most people, they just accuse you of being shallow and try hard. i go to the gym cos i love it not because of women, not anymore anyway, however that would be a nice side effect! anyway im not good looking so not worth much.

Edited September 8, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Sarabi]

Definitely. I don't really go to clubs or anything similar, but I could put in more effort to talk to people at Church. I'll just have to break out of my introvert shell LOL!

 

Any Youth groups/fellowships at your church? Or Bible studies? What denomination are you? I say that as someone who grew up in an Anglican church which was dominated by many older people...then branched out into socialising with other young Christians probably once it was too late.

I went to a church once where they would organise lunch at different people's houses after church. Or have small get togethers occasionally (movie nights, bowling, days out etc.)

Perhaps you could be the organiser if you feel bold

[California91]

No youth groups for me (I'm 25), but a Bible study might be good. I don't worry about all of that denomination stuff; no need to over complicate something that is very simple. I actually just joined an awesome church, and I am getting to know some people pretty well.

[Sarabi]

Denomination doesn't bother me but just wondered. I have been to various types of church and some churches seem more social than others.

Its good you're getting to know people at your current church

am also going to tell you the obvious here...but pray about it (if you aren't already) and ask for good people(good women) to come into your life.

[redbaron007]

[personal information redacted]

 

I feel like women are only interested in me because of my looks. I have done some modeling, and many women see six-packs abs and immediately throw themselves at me.

I'm a bit skeptical - Where exactly does this happen - house parties, clubs, bars, or on the street? Where do you meet these particular women and how do they "throw themselves at you"? I see a lot of fit young dudes walking around and though the women (21+) may ogle once or twice, and be happy to speak with them, I never saw this happen unless the guy is a celeb or alcohol is involved.

 

I am actually a Christian, and I would like to be with someone who shares the same values, but the women who are interested in me only want to have sex!

Again, please elaborate. Where do meet these women? Where do you meet them (Tinder?) and how do you know they only want you for sex?

 

Also, most of the women that do share my values aren't interested because they take one look and assume that I'm a jerk. Abs don't make me a bad person! Does anyone have any advice they could give me?

Where do you mean these women who share your values? What did you talk about, and how did you conclude they think you're a jerk?

 

You've made quite a few very generic statements and we readers would appreciate a bit more details. Thanks!

[Mystique01]

[personal information redacted]

 

I feel like women are only interested in me because of my looks. I have done some modeling, and many women see six-packs abs and immediately throw themselves at me. I am actually a Christian, and I would like to be with someone who shares the same values, but the women who are interested in me only want to have sex! Also, most of the women that do share my values aren't interested because they take one look and assume that I'm a jerk. Abs don't make me a bad person! Does anyone have any advice they could give me?

 

Interesting situation to be in! You usually hear about women having this problem, but not the reverse, so it's good to get a different take on things.

 

How ironic, I'm a Christian as well, and sometimes I get frustrated because it seems men only want one thing. So it's good to see a guy who's also a Christian as well trying to live by bible principles and is actually looking for something real and genuine.

 

 

I agree with just about everything everyone else has mentioned. You need to seek out women who share your faith/values/morals. It will be challenging to catch the type of woman you're looking for if you don't first go to places where women tend to look at the INNER person instead of the outer person. Ykwim? It can be annoying when all people focus on is your looks. Maybe you can get some other hobbies that are more "social"?

 

Funny, I do photography on the side as well (have done so for many years), but aside from photographing other people, photography isn't really a hobby that multiple people can do as a group. I would seek out a hobby/interest/outing that can be done with other young people around your age in a co-ed setting. Develop your personality more. Get out more. Seek out women who are not just about looks. It's easier said than done, but it can be done.

 

Also, maybe try focusing on the women who AREN'T throwing themselves at you. It's easy to get caught up and enjoy the attention of women who are throwing themselves at you, or who are being more "outgoing" and "flirty", but you might want to look for the "secret person of the heart" (as the bible says), and this won't necessarily be a woman who's throwing herself at you.

[California91]

I don't go clubbing. I don't drink. I meet women at many different photography shoots, and I don't try to give the impression that I am looking for someone.

 

Thanks for the advice Mystique01! I joined a running group from church, so maybe that will be an opportunity to get to know people. I also started volunteering at a youth center where they look for men and women in their mid 20s to be leaders, so that should be fun!

 

I babysit my nephew (2 years old) for my sister a couple of times per week so that she can get caught up on cleaning, etc. I've noticed that when he's with me on photography shoots, the women that I meet are more interested in me than just my looks. So I guess I just need to babysit more ;P!