JoBe Posted July 6, 2005 Share Posted July 6, 2005 I'm very scared to be writing this, but I really need advice. And preferably from people who don't know me and won't judge me - which should be everyone in this forum A little about me: I'm in my early twenties and married just over a year. I've known my husband for almost 6 years and I love him. Alot. But we are extremely different. About 8 months or so, I started chatting with a guy at work - he was actually interested in a co-worker of mine. I was trying to set them up. Well, it didn't work out between them, but in the mean time we found out that we are incredibly alike. He is 9 years older than me but we get on like a house on fire. We go to Happy hours after work and stay after everyone else has gone, chatting about everything and nothing. I have a crush on him that I just can't seem to shake. I have tried not emailing or not responding or not going for coffee in the afternoon. But it's difficult, b/c when my day is really sucking at work (and they've all been sucking lately) nothing cheers me up more than spending a half hour over coffee with him. The worst part is I really have no clue if he is remotely interested in me and I've never spoken to him about how I feel. I wonder if I'm only interested in going after something I shouldn't have or if this chemistry is something more. And I love my husband, but this guy "gets" me, like no one I've ever met. My question is: Does that matter? Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted July 6, 2005 Share Posted July 6, 2005 IMO No it doesn't matter if this Guy gets you like no one else because you're married and it isn't to him. If you're not happy in your marriage then fix it or get out. This isn't fair to your spouse and seriously it wouldn't be fair to this other Guy either know what I'm saying? So with that said.. again just my opinion but if the marriage isn't what you want it to be then you need to either do everything you can to make it work or you need to end the marriage BEFORE you even attempt to get into something else with anyone. My 2 cent's Link to post Share on other sites
A Fly onThe Wall Posted July 6, 2005 Share Posted July 6, 2005 Your existing commitment.. Like Merin said you either need to stop it now and fix the marriage or get out of the marriage .. Either way I suspect some damage has already been done to your marriage by this " Emotional Affair " but at least you are fully aware of your feelings and are questioning yourself Just my opinion Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted July 6, 2005 Share Posted July 6, 2005 'Chemistry' is often illusory. Our bodies want us to reproduce. Because of that, our own bodies conspire against us to persuade us to reproduce with people by flooding us with hormones, some which impede our judgement. Clearly. Drop the 'chemistry' courses; stay away from the coffee. If you must, get another job. If you continue down this path, you will come to grief. Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted July 6, 2005 Share Posted July 6, 2005 You need to reaffirm your commitment to you H. You are not available to this guy no matter if you have chemistry or get along like a house on fire. End your emotional affair before you become to involved and your H. ends your marriage... Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 6, 2005 Share Posted July 6, 2005 Did you only notice your lack of chemistry with your H when this new guy came into your life? Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted July 6, 2005 Share Posted July 6, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme 'Chemistry' is often illusory... our own bodies conspire against us to persuade us to reproduce with people by flooding us with hormones, some which impede our judgement. Yup. And chemistry of this type does not last. The initial rush never does... Link to post Share on other sites
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