Bobbiejoe22 Posted September 10, 2016 Share Posted September 10, 2016 I need help. My Job is on the line. I have a very good job. But, my husband believes i work too much. I have asked him to allow me to change jobs to reduce that but he says we can not. That we can't afford for me to take a pay cut. 1000 percent no. He became angry that I even suggested it and told me that I am out of touch w reality. So today my boss called me in and told me my job role is changing. Our 2 parent companies are now splitting my salaries and I need to give my all to maintain it without a paycut. I make over 6 figures. Plus I carry the benefits for our family. My husband is self employed and literally just threatened the other night to "slow down and make half his salary because he's tired". I said let ME do that! He said no. I carry the benefits. So next week I have to work a company conference out of town. My husband took off to go there. He's extremely possessive and doesn't like me traveling for work alone. He walks around as my "helper" at these yearly events. My new boss will be there and I clearly need to speak with him, meet him and Clarify my goals while he's in town. I told my husband I have a lot of meetings there and will be under a lot of pressure. I told hkm I was going to message this man and ask to meet him. My husband said it was extremely inappropriate for me to meet with this man alone. He said from past experiences that it might be in their business suites and he felt that was out of bounds. He said that he can't take this and will it allow me to be alone in this man's suite or have dinner alone with him. I said its my boss! He said he does not care and he won't tolerate it. I'm very scared of this event and how this is going to look for me. I work with 3 powerful CEOs and they are all men. They are normal. Not weird. They have never crossed any lines. I like them. They have all met my Husband and def don't seem to like him much. My husband went back stage during this event of 5 thousand people where my boss was about to speak. My boss was like...what is he doing here? And quietly asked me to have him leave the area. My boss wasn't mean. But I got the picture. My husband was so livid he told me to quit! He said that these men just want me and clearly want him out of the picture. It was NOT that at all in reality. I want to know if I am overreacting. I lay awake at night worried that this will cost me my job ..having him there next week. And if I ask him to stay away...he will def tell me that he can't be with me this way... What advice could you give me? Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted September 10, 2016 Share Posted September 10, 2016 Tell him that if he can't behave and you lose your job because of it, he better find a second and third job and support his family because you wont go looking for another. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bobbiejoe22 Posted September 10, 2016 Author Share Posted September 10, 2016 Well he's made it very clear that he will make sure if we divorced that I wouldn't get a dime. I'm his second wife. He has high school kids from first marriage. He told me the other night during a fight that he was considering selling our house (he bought it before me but still owes more than 90 percent of worth). He wants to sell it and give proceeds to his kids. Not the child we have together. He says that he wants them to have their college paid for ..even though we are clearly cashed strapped and these kids have scholarships and school loans! So no. If I lose my job. I know that we will end up divorced. And he won't give me a dime. The fact he already threatened this scared me! I never mentioned divorce!! Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted September 10, 2016 Share Posted September 10, 2016 The fact that he is mentioning divorce means he is already making plans. And his abject controlling of you and your job is a giant red flag. I personally would start protecting your assets and self and develop an exit strategy.... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 10, 2016 Share Posted September 10, 2016 I recall a similar story to yours about six months ago. Was that you under a different name? Frankly, as the house was bought 90% by him and you earn a six figure income, I'd just walk away and write off the money. Some battles aren't worth fighting if your freedom and wellbeing is at stake. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted September 10, 2016 Share Posted September 10, 2016 You need to get out of this marriage ASAP. Your husband's insane jealousy and overwhelming controlling issues will probably cost you your job. You need to protect yourself AND your job. This marriage is not one worth saving because your husband is a controlling ******* and you cannot reason with a guy like that. PROTECT YOUR JOB. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted September 10, 2016 Share Posted September 10, 2016 Doesn't this get tiring? It's the same thing, time after time, one username to the next. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted September 10, 2016 Share Posted September 10, 2016 Same advice you always get. Divorce your abusive nut job of a husband. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 10, 2016 Share Posted September 10, 2016 I recall a similar story to yours about six months ago. Was that you under a different name? I had the same deja vu, think it was this: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/568456-work-travel-jealousy Might just be a number of excessively jealous husbands out there... Mr. Lucky 4 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted September 10, 2016 Share Posted September 10, 2016 I had the same deja vu, think it was this: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/568456-work-travel-jealousy Might just be a number of excessively jealous husbands out there... Mr. Lucky I thought you'd come up with this: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/591639-abusive-feels Yes, indeed, there are! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted September 10, 2016 Share Posted September 10, 2016 Obviously posting the same stories over and over again under multiple usernames is not helping you. You have been posting this stuff for at least a couple of years now and still you do nothing about it. Not to mention that it's kind of weird the way you pretend to be a new poster almost every month. Go get professional therapy. You do not have a kid with your husband. You have a kid with your ex husband and you have consistently chosen your sicko abusive relationship over your child and that's the saddest thing about your situation. It's sick how you are so desperate to have this creepy man. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted September 10, 2016 Share Posted September 10, 2016 Also if you really did marry this guy and he's not still just your bf then that means you have only been married for about a year now and you do not have a child with him so why do you think you have any claim to his money or his house? That stuff rightfully belongs to his children. If you make a six figure income then you are perfectly capable of supporting yourself 2 Link to post Share on other sites
NotASkunk Posted September 10, 2016 Share Posted September 10, 2016 What a nightmare. Being with an obsessively jealous person is extremely stressful. The choice seems to be pretty clear to me. If you stay with him his behavior most likely will cause you to lose your job. If you lose your job he says he will leave you. He sounds like and insecure little boy. Get out now while you still have a good job. Link to post Share on other sites
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