Vashknives Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 My exGF and I get along really well, love each other, and compatible. We been together nearly 2 years. She recently broke up with me about 6 weeks ago, because she decided she want give her old exbf that they have been 5 years together. He cheated on her, used her, and disappear on her few years ago. I know she love me still but she just decide that she love him more and drop me. She even admitted that i am the best bf she ever have, her family, coworkers, friends, and her boss all love me! They dont like her new bf(which her ex). They been together about 6 weeks and start to have problems again. She found out he broke up with her ex and she caught him talking to he ex still. But she is trying and put a lot effort trying to make it work and not being logical. She is probably being used. Becuass she is babysitting him, drive him to work eveyday and pay for his expense. Also, I think relationship with trust issue will never work. She think or want to believe he have changed but i think u can improve a bit but not 180 degree change and become ideal man. He start showing trail of his old bad side again. Now i know the best solution is move on and not be in traingle or be in the drama. But i want to follow my heart and want a second chance with her, i know i dont want third chance for sure. The reason i want her back because i love her and i see things that i like about her and i dont want to have regret in future that i didnt put up a fight to get her back. Regret are the worst long life enemy. Now She is ignoring me and avoid me, i am also doing no contacr because there are no point try to talk her out of her current toxic relationship. I know the more i try he more she will try to stay in that relationship and misundertand i try to split them and have bad motive. So what should I do to get her back? Should I text her during holloween or thanksgiving or xmas for a short text. How long will they last? 3 months? 6 months? 1-2years? Currently i am focusing healing myself but its very hard to do, i am a very smart and logical person but i have so much emotional attach to her i am willing to do my best to get her back and trust her again. Its not i have no self respect or anything self respect cant be taking away i still have that. Everyone make mistakes somepoint in their life i done it too.if i cant forgive someone i love then on my side i dont deserve to love anyone. I know one thing for sure that even if me and her wont be together in future i will always care about her. Thank you so much i need really good advice! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 No contact, hard 180. Never be someone's plan B 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vashknives Posted September 12, 2016 Author Share Posted September 12, 2016 No contact, hard 180. Never be someone's plan B I wont be back up plan if she does come back I will need to ask her if she love me 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 If you turn your back on this situation, your self respect will increase. If you don't, it will decrease. Time to make a decision. Take care. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vashknives Posted September 12, 2016 Author Share Posted September 12, 2016 If you turn your back on this situation, your self respect will increase. If you don't, it will decrease. Time to make a decision. Take care. Self respect is not my point now i need to know what is the best option and method to get her back. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 Self respect is not my point now i need to know what is the best option and method to get her back. In that case, you've already thrown your self respect away. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 Self respect is not my point now i need to know what is the best option and method to get her back. My friend, no one is going to offer suggestions "to get her back" because I don't think anyone will think you should even try. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vashknives Posted September 12, 2016 Author Share Posted September 12, 2016 In that case, you've already thrown your self respect away. Well i will pick it back up later Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 Well i will pick it back up later Good luck with that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vashknives Posted September 12, 2016 Author Share Posted September 12, 2016 My friend, no one is going to offer suggestions "to get her back" because I don't think anyone will think you should even try. Why not? just becuase she dump me and not respect me? Just becuase she made mistake? Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 Why not? just becuase she dump me and not respect me? Just becuase she made mistake? She didn't make a mistake. She made a choice. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
sooshi Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 Currently i am focusing healing myself Self respect is not my point now i need to know what is the best option and method to get her back. I fail to see the focus on healing yourself. As Satu says, "You can't make anyone think, feel, or do anything." You wanted really good advice, and Marc gave it to you: No contact. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
juniorrocha Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 Work on yourself. Go NC, block her everywhere and move on with your life. She made her choice, it doesn't matter if it's a bad choice. Now get some control over your own life and start moving on. I highly doubt her current relationship will work, given what you've mentioned. However, that's none of mine, your or anyone's business but theirs, so let them do whatever they're doing and go work on yourself. I'm sure you're not happy with this situation, so get out of it with your head high, stop humiliating yourself and become the best you can. You'll be fine, as long as you accept it's over and start dedicating time to yourself only. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vashknives Posted September 12, 2016 Author Share Posted September 12, 2016 Work on yourself. Go NC, block her everywhere and move on with your life. She made her choice, it doesn't matter if it's a bad choice. Now get some control over your own life and start moving on. I highly doubt her current relationship will work, given what you've mentioned. However, that's none of mine, your or anyone's business but theirs, so let them do whatever they're doing and go work on yourself. I'm sure you're not happy with this situation, so get out of it with your head high, stop humiliating yourself and become the best you can. You'll be fine, as long as you accept it's over and start dedicating time to yourself only. Thank you at last someone actually give good detail advice amd thougt!everyone include herself know she done me wrong. She blame her current bad relationship is becuase bad karma for dumping a good person like me... Btw why u think it wont work and how long will u predict their relationship will last. Her coworker is saying that prob by feb...i am just curious about human behavior and how thing will happen this is the first time i been into BS relationship! I been many great relatiosnhip thing didnt work out but not bs like this! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 She even admitted that i am the best bf she ever have, her family, coworkers, friends, and her boss all love me! They dont like her new bf(which her ex). Friend if that's the case then she would still be with you. I'm not saying your not but if she felt that way she wouldn't be hanging her hat on a loser. My advice is to move on and find someone else. If she could do that to you after a couple of years of being together then she'll do it again and your back to square one again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vashknives Posted September 12, 2016 Author Share Posted September 12, 2016 She even admitted that i am the best bf she ever have, her family, coworkers, friends, and her boss all love me! They dont like her new bf(which her ex). Friend if that's the case then she would still be with you. I'm not saying your not but if she felt that way she wouldn't be hanging her hat on a loser. My advice is to move on and find someone else. If she could do that to you after a couple of years of being together then she'll do it again and your back to square one again. Idk...i am trying to move on but i still care about her, i mean if u put urself in her shoes do u think she is follow her heart? Aside from how i want her back! How u look at the situation. U dont have to be on my side 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vashknives Posted September 12, 2016 Author Share Posted September 12, 2016 Few of my close friends who are female and used to do the same game what my ex did to me saying that i am not in love with her anymore and i wont want her back even if she come back...i am just not satisfy what currently happened cuz i got dumped and i have not able to want the answer that i want. Idk whats going on i am confuse whether i love her still or i just care her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 She was never over her ex. It wouldn't surprise me if there was little time between her ending her relationship with him and starting a relationship with you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
juniorrocha Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 Btw why u think it wont work and how long will u predict their relationship will last. However, that's none of mine, your or anyone's business but theirs, so let them do whatever they're doing and go work on yourself. I already answered that. It just doesn't matters. Relationships like you've described don't normally last too long: ex, few weeks and already having problems, quiting a relationship and right after jumping to another one, etc. But stop it right there. Stop trying to figure out how long it lasts, if they will succeed or not. They could stay forever the rest of their lives, or they could break up tomorrow, you'll never know. And that's why it's important to leave them alone, cut any form of contact so you can heal faster and move on. Should she ever appear again, THEN you can think about what to do. But don't count on that. Forget they exist. Move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 (edited) Idk...i am trying to move on but i still care about her, i mean if u put urself in her shoes do u think she is follow her heart? Aside from how i want her back! How u look at the situation. U dont have to be on my side She did follow her heart, but it didn't lead her to you. Eventually you will accept that, and when you do, your healing will be complete. Take care. Edited September 12, 2016 by Satu 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vashknives Posted September 12, 2016 Author Share Posted September 12, 2016 She was never over her ex. It wouldn't surprise me if there was little time between her ending her relationship with him and starting a relationship with you. How i find out from her best friend is that 3 weeks ago her ex crawl back to her and start hitting at her and she finally decide to dump me and go gave him another chance! But as her best friend saying she is very unhappy and she wasnt as happy when she was with me becuase i been really treating her well! I think because she got dump and got cheated on its a way for her to redeem herself so she decide go for him... No doubt she is self center and selfish but now she getting use and play...i dont feel like i am happy becuase karma is like boomerang but nothing i can do or talk sense into her because i am her ex and not a person that she would listen... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vashknives Posted September 12, 2016 Author Share Posted September 12, 2016 She did follow her heart, but it didn't lead her to you. Eventually you will accept that, and when you do, your healing will be complete. Take care. Thank you satu! Yeah it didnt lead her to me hats for sure! But i dont blame her either its just misfortune for both of us... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vashknives Posted September 12, 2016 Author Share Posted September 12, 2016 I already answered that. It just doesn't matters. Relationships like you've described don't normally last too long: ex, few weeks and already having problems, quiting a relationship and right after jumping to another one, etc. But stop it right there. Stop trying to figure out how long it lasts, if they will succeed or not. They could stay forever the rest of their lives, or they could break up tomorrow, you'll never know. And that's why it's important to leave them alone, cut any form of contact so you can heal faster and move on. Should she ever appear again, THEN you can think about what to do. But don't count on that. Forget they exist. Move on. Yeah who knows they go stay in 1 years or maybe another 5 years...of course i aint gonna wait for her...i am gonna be my own path live my life, focuse my career and if i do meet someone i like i wont reject her. But do i care about my ex i do...i see her as family member maybe idk... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 That relationship won't prosper. Relationships that start badly, end badly. Here's my last bit of advice: Care about yourself, by not caring about what they do. Take care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vashknives Posted September 12, 2016 Author Share Posted September 12, 2016 That relationship won't prosper. Relationships that start badly, end badly. Here's my last bit of advice: Care about yourself, by not caring what they do. Take care. U truly think so? How long u think it will be the end? Link to post Share on other sites
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