Parenting and Drug Use - Does it mix?

[tiki]

I'm curious to see what you guys think, so answer honestly.

 

If a parent uses/abuses below mentioned drug, can they be a good parent?

 

A. Tobacco

B. Alcohol

C. 'Lighter' drugs - Marijuana, shrooms

D. 'Harder' drugs - Cocaine, Heroin, etc

 

(Apologies if my classifications are incorrect, I am very drug naive)

 

When dealing with a mother, let's just assume that the pregnant mother quit taking these drugs while carrying the child.

 

Can you be a good parent and use/abuse drugs?

 

Give me your take.

[ReluctantRomeo]

Alchohol in moderation, fine.

 

The rest, no. Tobacco is incredibly bad for the health, taking something illegal brings up all sorts of issues.

[A Fly onThe Wall]

I think there are different takes to this question.

 

A. and B. are not illegal but C. and D. are illegal , so if a parent is to teach by example then doing illegal drugs leaves to question how good their parenting can be.

 

You have to remember that parents that take drugs have children that take drugs.......

 

my 2 cents

[LittleMiss]

I think they can with the lighter stuff like alcohol and tobacco. As long and they use and don't abuse. Also, if they keep this away from their children. I think it would be harsh to say someone is a bad parent because they have a glass of wine every now and then or smoke cigarettes. It's unhealthy, but as long as they don't do it in front of the children then I don't think it's that big of a deal.

 

As for the harder stuff like cocaine I have to say it does make them a bad parent. I know from experience. Drugs like that take over your life. They start to control you and your actions. You don't care about yourself anymore much less anyone else. My mom started using drugs. She used marijuana regularly, abused alcohol excessively, and later she became addicted to heroin. My mother is lost. She has fought with me, hit me, told me she hated me, stole money from me, broke into my house, and so much more awful things. I know that is not my mother doing these things. It's the drugs, they have control over her. Now I have reason to believe she is smoking crack-cocaine. I don't think she is a good mother, and until she realizes that and stops using she will not ever be my "mother" again.

[tiki]

I threw the smokes and alcohol in there because those are technically considered drugs too. I guess I could've put pain meds on the list too. I didn't want to discriminate against any category.

 

So, 'harder' drug-abusers should definitely intend to quit partaking by the time they intend to parent a child.

 

Do drug abusers have that rationale? Do they think, "Okay, I can live this life 'til I have a child, then it'll have to be different"?

[LittleMiss]

I don't think they can think that way. They make think and no what they are doing is bad and needs to stop, but the drug has got a hold on them. That yearning or craving for a fix is strong. They may want to stop, but they need the drug. If they are serious they would get professional help and the support of their family and freinds to help them fight the urge to use. Other just don't care enough to quit. That's why there are babies born addicted to drugs or children that are hungry because their parent or parents have spent their money on drugs.

[A Fly onThe Wall]

Originally posted by gtab

I don't think they can think that way. They make think and no what they are doing is bad and needs to stop, but the drug has got a hold on them.

 

I agree. I am a recovering Alcoholic that has been sober over 18 years and I remember to this day the feelin of knowing that abusing was wrong and how I wanted to stop, even though I knew it was hurting those in my life.

I couldn't stop myself from hurting the people around me..

I was addicted .....I was selfish...

[LittleMiss]

Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall

I agree. I am a recovering Alcoholic that has been sober over 18 years and I remember to this day the feelin of knowing that abusing was wrong and how I wanted to stop, even though I knew it was hurting those in my life.

I couldn't stop myself from hurting the people around me..

I was addicted .....I was selfish...

 

 

You did stop though! Congratulations on your recovery. I only wish my mother could gather the courage to get herself clean. I have tried my hardest with her. The ball is totally in her court though. If she doesn't want help there is nothing I can do but stand back and watch my mother waste away.

[tiki]

So to see your mother 'waste away' I wonder if the following is really true:

 

You have to remember that parents that take drugs have children that take drugs.......

 

Because it sounds like it's one extreme or the other, you either do it or you don't.

[LittleMiss]

I understand what you are saying, but I'm not sure if it is really one extreme or the other. I have experiemented with drugs. When I was younger I was pretty much a pot head up unitil I got pregnant. I stopped everything then. Smoking cigs, drinking, and smoking weed. I relapsed after I had my son with the cigs though. Now, I don't buy any, but I usually will have a cig while drinking since my bf smokes when he's drinking.

 

I do drink, but I don't get wasted. I'll have a couple of glasses of Boone's and that's about it. Maybe a beer or two with my boyfriend. On special occasions or when we feel like it we'll make it a margarita night. I have done cocaine too.

 

I just don't consider myself an addict in any way. I have never had the urge or craving for cocaine or alcohol. I never let it get that far. I admit with the cigs I was addicted and it was hard to quit, but I did it. Everything else was just for recreation and in moderation. I never let it take over my life or became dependent on it.

[A Fly onThe Wall]

Originally posted by gtab

You did stop though!

 

I did stop.. I hit my bottom and everybody's bottom is different.

I had just watched my father die of cancer and had just lost my live-in girlfriend when I hit my bottom.. My family did an intervention and I have been sober since that day.

 

I have been forever grateful to my family and others..

[LittleMiss]

All I had to do is look at my mom to see that drugs were going to ruin me and my relationship with my two year old son. He's my life not drugs.

 

He always asks for his grandma. It hurts that he can't see her and he doesn't understand why. I just hope he doesn't think I'm being mean or trying to keep him from her. I just don't feel it's safe for him to visit her. She never tries to see us. When she does call it's to ask for money and she always sounds wasted on the phone. I tell her no and she gets furious and hangs up on me.

[A Fly onThe Wall]

Originally posted by gtab

All I had to do is look at my mom to see that drugs were going to ruin me and my relationship with my two year old son. He's my life not drugs.

 

You are parenting by example.... a good example. My heart goes out to you and your son.

It's not easy to be part of an alcoholics life.. When we are active in our abuse we are terrible to live with and understand.

We are selfish...