What are some "not so common" signs of a cheater that you learned?

[Kkristine]

Curious!

 

I would say that the obvious sign for me was that he didn't have any male friends. All female. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but...

[Satu]

Tells other females that he doesn't get on with his wife...

 

Actually thats very common, almost universal.

[h0000]

Family environment and upbringing play a huge part in men's integrity.

There is even a study shows more intellegent you are, less likely you cheat. I don't know about that but I believe family influence is vital.

So one example if he is uneducated it's more likely he cheats

[Satu]

An ego that far outstrips his abilities.

[Clockwork]

I've never been cheated on before but these are signs I would look for:

 

 

- protective of their cell phone

- purposely attempts to make you jealous with other girls/guys

- talks about their problems with you with someone of the opposite sex

- a sudden lack of interest in sex despite the persuasion

 

 

Stuff like that, it's red flags and they shouldn't be forgotten.

[Satu]

Always tired, always busy, always stressed.

 

(They say...)

[Space Ritual]

I've never been cheated on before but these are signs I would look for:

 

 

- protective of their cell phone

- purposely attempts to make you jealous with other girls/guys

- talks about their problems with you with someone of the opposite sex

- a sudden lack of interest in sex despite the persuasion

 

 

Stuff like that, it's red flags and they shouldn't be forgotten.

 

I'd like to add to that, if I may....

 

When your partner out of nowhere begins to accuse YOU of cheating with no actual evidence, even if you know you are not doing it.

 

 

When my fiance cheated on me, she went out of her way beforehand for about 2 months to accuse me of screwing any woman that was breathing. Just to look at someone's general direction brought fire and brimstone upon me, as I was obviously wanting to bone whoever i looked at. It got to a point where it was so absurd that I had a feeling in the back of my mind something was afoot by simply by her constant accusations, and I was right. Just her deflection of her own actions.

[smackie9]

I'd like to add to that, if I may....

 

When your partner out of nowhere begins to accuse YOU of cheating with no actual evidence, even if you know you are not doing it.

 

 

When my fiance cheated on me, she went out of her way beforehand for about 2 months to accuse me of screwing any woman that was breathing. Just to look at someone's general direction brought fire and brimstone upon me, as I was obviously wanting to bone whoever i looked at. It got to a point where it was so absurd that I had a feeling in the back of my mind something was afoot by simply by her constant accusations, and I was right. Just her deflection of her own actions.

I agree with this one....projecting guilt.

[frigginlost]

I've only been cheated on once and that was 3 years ago. I'm still recovering as I don't think a cheater really understands the damage done...

 

The very first red flag she threw, I did not even see:

 

"I had a very bad marriage and I worked my butt off at it. I started talking with an old high school friend and I felt it was very wrong of me to be talking to him so I quickly stopped because I'm not that kind of person".

 

Found out after our breakup from her ex-husband that she carried on an affair with him for 3 months which is why he ended the marriage.

 

Cheaters are extremely, and I mean extremely manipulative when need be. The lies they can spew so effortlessly is astonishing.

[DrReplyInRhymes]

-2 am texts - "it's just a friend".

 

-Hidden emails/texts/apps/burner phones - "it's just a coworker"

 

-deleting texts showing his wife caught on to their game - "oh it's a code to enter work...." (I went to her work. No gate code ever needed.)

 

-Waking up to an empty bed, acting asleep when she snuck back into bed.

 

-BLOWS UP when plans changed because she couldn't fit the other guy into her plans anymore.

 

-Unexplained bruises, scratches.

 

-Terrible mother, never pays attention to her kids, always looking for the next cock to ride, one of those mothers that sits her kids on an Ipad all day and expects the kids to be entertained rather than do any actual mothering.

 

-Constantly tells you how you don't make her happy, how you don't do nice things for her.

 

-When asked where she sees herself in 10 years, she drones on about the dude she's attracted to at work and everything he does right for the next 20 minutes without even realizing she just literally spit out her 10 year plan, and it's not with you.

 

You know, the obvious stuff. FWB material, nothing more.

[Exformer]

I'd like to add to that, if I may....

 

When your partner out of nowhere begins to accuse YOU of cheating with no actual evidence, even if you know you are not doing it.

 

 

When my fiance cheated on me, she went out of her way beforehand for about 2 months to accuse me of screwing any woman that was breathing. Just to look at someone's general direction brought fire and brimstone upon me, as I was obviously wanting to bone whoever i looked at. It got to a point where it was so absurd that I had a feeling in the back of my mind something was afoot by simply by her constant accusations, and I was right. Just her deflection of her own actions.

 

Agree with this! I once dated a girl who accused me of cheating on her and giving her an STD. I didn't have one before we started (tested) and luckily, we were long distance at that point. So, when I got tested this time, I came back negative again. She cheated on me between visits but must have cheated on me before my last visit too.

 

On thing I notice that a lot of cheaters do, at least a few of the females I know, is lay in the ground work for their excuse for cheating. Whether you're being the best boyfriend you can be or not, complaints about stress, being tired, not feeling it anymore, lack of sex, all of this is pushed despite what you do to fix the issue. That way when they've cheated, they can come back and show why it's your fault. But if you backtrack, a lot of times the "problems" start around the time they meet the person they first cheat on you with.

[ExpatInItaly]

Keeping you away from certain places with no obvious or legitimate reason.

 

He didn't want to go a pub near his workplace, where he frequently met up with coworkers for drinks after their shifts. When I suggested we go there together, he tried to re-direct me by saying it reminds him of work and prefered to take me somewhere else where he could really "relax."

 

Turns out he was cheating with a co-worker and the staff that pub had seen them together - alone - a few times.

[Foreverever421]

No obvious signs. I think that most people are capable of cheating, myself included. The thought that prevents me from cheating is always, 'How would I feel if she did it?'. Do unto others what you want done to you.

 

 

A good friend has a gorgeous wife and 3 kids. He wears his ring, has his family pic as his phone wallpaper. He goes home when his wife raises hell when he stays at the pub for too long. He cheats every chance he gets. Does he 'look' like a cheater? Not at all.

 

 

He got it from his father. You bring home the bacon, you are entitled. So you cheat? Do something nice for your wife to negate the guilt...... Okay

[Traceycprc]

I would have to say texts all hours from a 'friend'.

Turning on you all of a sudden, you can't do anything right, accusing you of seeing someone else.

 

The biggest one for me was the 'gut feeling' I just knew, and guess what I was right!

[preraph]

One thing I learned was that the common assumptions are not true. Like I always believed that a guy who didn't have much luck with women, if given the chance, would try hard to be good to the woman and not take advantage of or betray her cheating, but that turns out to not be the case.

 

A friend of mine had a hard time finding a girlfriend, and he mostly went about it wrong, but at least he put himself out there. So just the way it happened, when he finally, in his 30s, got a woman interested in him, crazy luck would have it that after the long drought, a second one surfaced just not long after that. So I'm thinking, Oh, he's so grateful to have someone to date that he wouldn't even consider going out on her with #2. But I was wrong. He couldn't WAIT to juggle two women and deceive them both like he'd seen more successful men do his entire life, I guess. I was very disappointed in the human spirit. That's when I just started saying "If they can, they will." Of course, he lost both of them, but...

[Miss Peach]

Curious!

 

I would say that the obvious sign for me was that he didn't have any male friends. All female. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but...

 

I'm on the opposite side of this and it doesn't mean I would cheat. I've known some great guys who had mostly female friends.

 

I will say the one time I was cheated on, he did talk about a certain female friend a lot. When I dated him I didn't know he cheated. We broke up for other reasons. I met her later by chance and we became friends and one time talking about previous men we realized we were talking about the same one! Then we started matching the timeline and figured out he was a two timer.

 

I'd like to add to that, if I may....

 

When your partner out of nowhere begins to accuse YOU of cheating with no actual evidence, even if you know you are not doing it.

 

I always wondered this one about XH. He constantly accused me but I never had any evidence.