Love Search Criteria

[Mysterio]

I would like you all to critique my Love Search Criteria. It may come off as harsh.

 

I am a 45 yr old Black male. I live in a Condo. I have a cat. I am fit. I work at the local Hospital as a Porter.

 

Here is what I think I can handle woman wise.

 

Single/Widowed Divorced without Kids. S/W/D with one kid or two from the same father. Age range 30 to 50. Live in the same city.

 

She Can't have a BF/Married. If she is Separated. A Divorce must be eminent within 6 months or so.

 

No heavy duty Smoking/Drugs.

 

No Living together or Children between us for at least 2 yrs. 3rd yr we can get engage/Married 4 yr child if so desired between us.

 

Does what I state sound harsh.

[heartbrokenlady]

I would like you all to critique my Love Search Criteria. It may come off as harsh.

 

It does sound harsh.

 

I am a 45 yr old Black male. I live in a Condo. I have a cat. I am fit. I work at the local Hospital as a Porter.

 

Here is what I think I can handle woman wise.

 

Single/Widowed Divorced without Kids. S/W/D with one kid or two from the same father. Age range 30 to 50. Live in the same city.

 

Looking for a lady without children or with a very small family. Aged 30-50, living in XXXX.

 

She Can't have a BF/Married. If she is Separated. A Divorce must be eminent within 6 months or so.

 

Genuine guy, looking for an unattached lady only.

 

No heavy duty Smoking/Drugs.

 

I'm a non smoker and don't do any recreational drugs. I'd like to find someone that I have that in common with.

 

No Living together or Children between us for at least 2 yrs. 3rd yr we can get engage/Married 4 yr child if so desired between us.

 

Although I'm looking for a LTR/marriage/children, I'd like to develop our relationship slowly so I'm able to make sure I've found my soulmate and that I can build a safe, supportive relationship, suitable for raising a child in.

 

Does what I state sound harsh.

 

 

 

It's all in HOW you say it. Not what you're saying.

[Mysterio]

Fair enough.

[preraph]

Not at all. I mean, you can't go to a first date and lay out rules (men hate it when women do that), but you can gradually open up about what is right for you. And I see your requirement list and life plan as a good one, nothing silly on there, nothing shallow. It's good to have standards so you don't just end up emotionally attached to someone who might make you miserable or just be on a totally opposite path. I think it's okay to put that on OLD as well, though it must be balanced with some friendliness and humor to offset it.

 

I'm not certain I'd put the part about "by the same father" on OLD or strictly rule that out since there could be some circumstances such a widow or something like that, but that's something you can find out by dating someone and then you don't even have to tell them, Ooops, 3 fathers, that eliminates you, but you can just say you felt you weren't a match. I don't think limiting number of fathers she's had is stupid either. It's usually indicative of how responsible and organized a person is and whether they make good decisions or just let life happen to them -- and in the US at least, there are also women who just keep having them and don't work because they get more aid or child support that way. So overall, I don't think it's unreasonable and is smart.

 

Good luck. Just don't settle and wait for the right one. I bet you do just fine.

[Mysterio]

Thanks Preraph.

[preraph]

You also write and spell well, which is becoming rare these days, so that's one more asset you have in your arsenal.

[Arieswoman]

Mysterio,

I'm glad you mentioned your cat, some women don't like them and some are allergic. However, most women like guys with pets because it shows they are caring.

 

Me I love cats !

 

Good luck x

[Mysterio]

I feel like my Criteria has to be layered out in a way where I don't come off as militant and rigid.

 

I love my life and I feel I am ready with a few twists in my own life to make it work.

 

Its funny. I have people that I have seen more successful and some that are not. There is a pattern. It seems like the most faster things happen. The worse off the couple is. The more you take your time is the better.

 

For me I would say it would take me 3 yrs to get married from the time I meet her to an official marriage. Having kids at mid to late 40' is still possible. Its really going to depend on the woman I marry. I am 50/50 on it. I see myself making it to 90 in age, so I don't know what will really work in the long run.

 

If everything went my way. Maybe have no kids and enjoy each other and travel the world every second year.