Unbelievable situation- stay or go?

[thebiglimp]

been dating this girl for a month now. 3rd date i found out that she had a 2yr long relationship and was cheating on the guy with me, says she didn't have feelings for him for a while, is now only into me, and the only reason why she cannot dump him is because she can't bear to hurt him.

 

i decide to believe her and also to see where the chips fall, continue the relationship.

 

she considers what we have between us serious, but i can't take the same stance, and am fitting myself ready to back out anytime.

 

here's where things get unbelievable, and she warned me of this initially when i found out about the cheating- the boyfriend is coming to visit her, after being apart 6 months in a different country. she feels bad for him, will sleep with him one more time before dumping him, and i'm to know this, and wait for it.

 

what?

 

oh, she says it would only be fair if i slept with someone else too meanwhile.

 

i said i'm not gonna return the pain on her and also use another girl on my end who would turn into a victim so instead, i said i would wait for her.

 

is this the most unbelievable thing you've ever heard?

[PegNosePete]

I've heard much more unbelievable things than that. Sorry on the unbelievability scale you're not even top 10.

 

However if you accept this situation then you are incredibly foolish. If someone told me that, I would dump them so fast I would have to FedEx their shadow back to them.

 

In fact I would never have got to that stage, as soon as she told me she's got a BF I Would have been out of there.

[jen1447]

You sound like you loathe her already so why would you stay?

[Satu]

You were a pawn in their game right from the start.

 

Time to eject.

 

 

Take care.

[PegNosePete]

i said i would wait for her.

 

is this the most unbelievable thing you've ever heard?

Oh sorry, only just noticed that part. Yes, that is a pretty unbelievable, as well as an incredibly stupid, decision.

[NotASkunk]

There isn't even a question, time to jump ship yesterday. She tells you she has a boyfriend, she should never have started up a relationship until she ended the first one. I recently went on a platonic outing with a man and we realized we had a lot in common. Some flirting and excitement developed and I was excited to maybe think it might be something more than just platonic at that point, we talked it and he admitted he has a live-in girlfriend. I would be an idiot to stay in a friendship like that, the risk of getting hurt is way too high. Sometimes you have to know when to cut your losses. In your situation that was a long time ago.

[Redhead14]

been dating this girl for a month now. 3rd date i found out that she had a 2yr long relationship and was cheating on the guy with me, says she didn't have feelings for him for a while, is now only into me, and the only reason why she cannot dump him is because she can't bear to hurt him.

 

i decide to believe her and also to see where the chips fall, continue the relationship.

 

she considers what we have between us serious, but i can't take the same stance, and am fitting myself ready to back out anytime.

 

here's where things get unbelievable, and she warned me of this initially when i found out about the cheating- the boyfriend is coming to visit her, after being apart 6 months in a different country. she feels bad for him, will sleep with him one more time before dumping him, and i'm to know this, and wait for it.

 

what?

 

oh, she says it would only be fair if i slept with someone else too meanwhile.

 

i said i'm not gonna return the pain on her and also use another girl on my end who would turn into a victim so instead, i said i would wait for her.

 

is this the most unbelievable thing you've ever heard?

 

She's a coward, a sneak, is short-sighted and a selfish person . . . she doesn't want to end it with him because she doesn't want to hurt him????????? Paleeze. AS if cheating isn't hurtful. Block and delete this one.

 

the most unbelievable thing you've ever heard -- What's more unbelieveable is this: i said i would wait for her. You are going to put YOUR life on hold for a girl who has all the credibility and trustworthiness of a snake and have only known for a month???? Frankly, knowing all this and you waiting for her kinda makes you a co-conspirator in her plot. I think you are being disrespectful to the boyfriend too by supporting her plan and allowing her to pick up again with you after . . . Put yourself in his shoes . . .

 

This guy is gonna know something is up if/when she actually dumps him. I'm even questioning whether she actually intends to dump him. If he goes home and it's very unlikely he'll know she's got another guy, she'll just keep both things going. I don't understand sleeping with him one more time if she's going to break up with him. That's just plain immature BS and doing some kind mind game on her part toward both of you men. She's a weasel . . .

[Space Ritual]

is this the most unbelievable thing you've ever heard?

 

Not by a mile. Not even close. I'v read far worse here.

 

If you are writing in looking for reasons to stay in this short term relationship, I'm sure you will find a few people who see no harm in it whatsoever.

 

However, if you realize that you have answered your own question, then you already know the answer.

 

 

If your best friend told you this story, would you tell them to suck it up? Maybe ask if you could watch? Ask to take pictures?

 

LOL I don't think so. You would be a fool to even countenance continuing this relationship unless you are a cuckold, which I don't think you are.

 

Life is far too short to get caught up in such stupidity. Find the nearest curb and dump her off at it.

[smackie9]

Cheaters lie, she is filling your head with BS promises. Stop being a doormat, letting her wipe her feet all over you....man up and next her.

[Redhead14]

A bad person is a person who does bad things intentionally and with forethought and planning and supports their own personal agenda . . . if this is the way they operate in a relationship, you can rest assured they operate that way in other areas of their life. Lying, manipulation, etc. does not exist in a "vacuum", i.e. only where a relationship is involved . . . for every rat you see, there are 50 more behind it or waiting for it . . .

[lolablue17]

It's not so unbelievable, as an exercise in creative writing. But it's a nice idea. Thank you.

[pteromom]

It's not too late to take it back!

 

Tell her no. That if she wants to be with you, she will call this boyfriend and break up with him now. She will not see him again and certainly won't sleep with him!

 

It's either you or him - right now.

[drifter777]

Run Forest, run!

[DrReplyInRhymes]

It's not too late to take it back!

 

Tell her no. That if she wants to be with you, she will call this boyfriend and break up with him now. She will not see him again and certainly won't sleep with him!

 

It's either you or him - right now.

 

I like your positive outlook, but she already told him her choice,

He knows it too, he heard it from her....with her own voice.

[Darren Steez]

This is you from one of the many threads you've started

 

went on a date with a girl. at first it was suppose to be a hookup. explicitly so- sexting, sharing pics of previous hookups etc.

 

then the date goes extremely well, but she doesn't hook up with me but wants to see me again next weekend. instead.

 

she's showers me with compliments the whole date, and text afterwards. And the guys she's hooked up with in the past aren't as good looking as me (at least in my mind)

 

So it was supposed to just be a hookup, she stroked your ego, now you're asking whether you should keep dating (you're almost making it sound like she's your girlfriend after what three dates?) after finding out she's cheating on her boyfriend and willing to sleep with her boyfriend while you wait around...and she'll break up with him after she bangs him?

 

Seems to me you'll probably let this happen. You'll probably be very hurt she banged him but you'll try to work it out.

 

I say this because it shouldn't even be a question you should be asking. You're either banging as a hookup or you're out. She's not your girl, the fact she tells you she's about to bang him and that you should be ok with it should make you run a mile.

 

Look forward to your post after she bangs him and you're asking if you should work it out.

[LostOnes05]

Dude...

1) She was cheating on her bf with you

2) She wants to be serious with you while still seeing her bf/soon to be ex (maybe)

3) Blatantly tells you she will have sex with him again and it's ok for you to do it too

 

***4) And you say you'll wait for her????

 

Really, man??! If you're cool with that you need some cognitive behavioral therapy to change that entire thought process.

[Lois_Griffin]

been dating this girl for a month now. 3rd date i found out that she had a 2yr long relationship and was cheating on the guy with me, says she didn't have feelings for him for a while, is now only into me, and the only reason why she cannot dump him is because she can't bear to hurt him.

 

i decide to believe her and also to see where the chips fall, continue the relationship.

 

she considers what we have between us serious, but i can't take the same stance, and am fitting myself ready to back out anytime.

 

here's where things get unbelievable, and she warned me of this initially when i found out about the cheating- the boyfriend is coming to visit her, after being apart 6 months in a different country. she feels bad for him, will sleep with him one more time before dumping him, and i'm to know this, and wait for it.

 

what?

 

oh, she says it would only be fair if i slept with someone else too meanwhile.

 

i said i'm not gonna return the pain on her and also use another girl on my end who would turn into a victim so instead, i said i would wait for her.

 

is this the most unbelievable thing you've ever heard?

She already SHOWED you how low she's willing to sink so why in hell would you be surprised by anything she does at this point?

 

She lied to you in the beginning by leading you to believe she was single and available to date and it wasn't until the THIRD date that you found out she had a boyfriend.

 

Low life move number #1.

 

Instead of having even a shred of integrity and contacting the guy and being HONEST with him that it's not working out for her and that she's moving on, she instead continues to bait him along, letting him think everything is just fine, and continues encouraging him to come and visit.

 

Low life move number #2.

 

Her supposed 'plan' is to get him back here, give him one more mercy f*ck (because she obviously thinks she possesses a golden vagina and it's a gift from the heavens for him) and then 'dump' him.

 

Low life move number #3.

 

And after being lied to about her being single, after being her dirty little secret for the last few months, and after knowing how low she'll sink and play this guy for a complete fool, you want to WAIT for her?

 

If you honestly don't have the ability to know a deceitful, opportunistic scumbag when you see one, then I guess you deserve her.

[fenix]

She already SHOWED you how low she's willing to sink so why in hell would you be surprised by anything she does at this point?

 

She lied to you in the beginning by leading you to believe she was single and available to date and it wasn't until the THIRD date that you found out she had a boyfriend.

 

Low life move number #1.

 

Instead of having even a shred of integrity and contacting the guy and being HONEST with him that it's not working out for her and that she's moving on, she instead continues to bait him along, letting him think everything is just fine, and continues encouraging him to come and visit.

 

Low life move number #2.

 

Her supposed 'plan' is to get him back here, give him one more mercy f*ck (because she obviously thinks she possesses a golden vagina and it's a gift from the heavens for him) and then 'dump' him.

 

Low life move number #3.

 

And after being lied to about her being single, after being her dirty little secret for the last few months, and after knowing how low she'll sink and play this guy for a complete fool, you want to WAIT for her?

 

If you honestly don't have the ability to know a deceitful, opportunistic scumbag when you see one, then I guess you deserve her.

 

Exactly!!

 

Anyhow OP gets what he deserves... he is with this lady knowing that she is cheating on her boyfriend with him and now not only she is going to cheat on him but she even let him know... wow... I am so happy to have some self respect, I wouldn't want to think so low of myself that even this scenario would be acceptable!