Very Confused... need help! (in paragraphs!)

[SweetButSad]

Well last night my ex called me and asked

 

if I wanted to hang out... nothing weird about

 

that because we have remained friends the 2 years

 

since the breakup. We sat there watching Tv and

 

talking, laughing.. everything.

 

Then one thing led to another and to another and to another,lol.. you get the point, but we ended up sleeping

 

together. Not once when this was happening did I think that this started because he wants me back, I just figured.. its been a while,and things just got too outta hand this time.

 

He reassured me of this when it was done.. He said.. "we CANNOT let that happen again" I agreed. So we went back to the living room and started to watch Tv again.

 

During that time, he told me that he is probably going to another city next year for school. When he told me that I just broke down crying... He cant leave me, even though

 

Ive been told that I have to stop contact with him to really move on, I just cant bring myself to doing it.. his friendship means the world to me.

 

He sat there and held me and kept asking what was wrong... I wouldn't answer him... I told him Id be fine. He kept asking questions trying to figure out what was wrong... He asked if I ws crying because of what we did, and I said no.. he asked if I hated him, I said no... he asked if I missed him, and I just laughed and said Ive

 

always missed you... then he immediatly said Awwwwwww,

 

and gave me a huge hug.. lol.

 

But I just couldnt stop crying, so I asked him to take me home.. he said ok, and we left. On the way back to my

 

house he held my hand the entire time... We stopped at a red light once and he leaned over, gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and said "You're the best you know that" .. I just lightly laughed at what he said.

 

Then when we got to my house he told me to call him or email him when/if I ever wanna tell him what is wrong. Than he gave me another hug, and said I love you--he hasnt

 

said that since we broke up. When I got in my house I called a few friends and cried to them...Then I came online and he was on.. and I just instant messaged him and said that I was sorry for acting the way I did, and cutting our night short.

 

He told me it didnt bother him, he just wants to make sure Im ok. He said if there is anything he could do that he would do it in a heartbeat. I told him Id be fine, and maybe someday I will be able to tell him.

 

He asked if he did something wrong, or if it had to do with him at all... I told him that he didnt do anything wrong, but yes it was about him. He said that he had to know what was wrong, because it was "killing him not knowing". I told him I couldnt say anything just yet. Then he asked if I was still having trouble dealing with our breakup.

 

I wanted to tell him the truth, but I was scared.. and

 

I dont know why... but I said.. No Im fine, but I gotta go.. Bye and I signed off. I dont know why I just didnt tell him the truth, I think Im just scared to get rejected again.

 

But all my friends that I have talked to told me that they really think he WANTS to get back together with me, but he wants me to ask him out.. because I was the one who broke it off in the first place.They say its not only because of what happened last night, but other things.. like the fact that I NEVER call him... he is always the one who calls me, and asks me to do things together.

 

So my problem is that I want to be with him.. I really do, more than anything... and he said he will call me tomorrow so we can go do something... everyone says I should just tell him how I feel, because they really

 

think he feels the same way... but for some reason Im taking all these signs a different way... and Im just scared that he will reject me, and I couldnt deal with that.

 

So I guess all Im asking is do you think my chances are good of getting him back if I say something... or should I just continue to keep it to myself. I dont want him to think that Im trying to push myself onto him.. cuz I

 

know if I did that then it would probably scare him away... but then again if my friends are thinking right, and hes waiting for me to ask for him to come back... because I was the one who broke up with him, or because he's also scared of rejection..then I dont wanna pass this up. Ughhh! Thanks

[Tony T]

He'd have to be one super dumb dude if he doesn't already know how you feel. He very well may feel the same and is fighting it. But he fully realizes getting heavily involved with you would be impractical with the fact that he is moving to another city in four or five months to attend school.

 

But, yes, you have to discuss this with him. You won't be able to live with yourself and what might have been unless you tell him just how you feel. There may be some strategy that can be worked out where the two of you can date until he leaves and then see each other intermittently while he is away. That's up to the two of you.

 

It sounds like he does care about you...but obviously you care somewhat more at this point. Talk to him...but don't get too mushy...and let him know you'd like another chance to explore what the two of you have. Explain to him that you are a different person than the one he used to date and you have grown a lot and appreciate him so much more now.

 

But before you do all this, give it all some really hard thought. Think about the reasons you broke up with him before and be REAL SURE you want to visit there again.

 

And, thanks for the lovely paragraphs. I wish you luck with your guy.

[Dragonflys]

You don't give any details about why you two broke up in the first place or how it was.

 

But I can see clearly from your post and how you describe his behabiour that you two are very much in love and seem good for each other right now.

 

You must at least reveal how you feel to him. Put simply you may always rue the day you didn't open up when you had the chance.

 

He sounds like a really good guy and you should give this a shot.

 

Hope it works out

[SweetButSad]

I broke up with him because I was young and stupid.. lolI got scared when he started talking to other girls as friends. So I broke up with him thinking that he would see how much it hurt me, and then come back, but that didnt happen.

 

I know that our breakup was the best thing that could have happened back then, because I learned a lot about what I did wrong from it. After every guy I have been with since him, Ive realized how much I really want to be with him.

 

Thanks for your response :-)