maryjanekelly Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 How long did it take you and your other half before the "newlywed" phase was over after being together? Or moving in together? Like the constant texts, lunch time sex, needing to be together and missing them the moment they are gone kinda phase? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
T-16bullseyeWompRat Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 This will be different for everyone. Why does it matter? That isn't all there is to a LTR. Fwiw we have gone through phases of it off and on for the last 16+ years. To me that is kind of special that we get it back from time to time. When times are tough we both know we can get back to that because we have 2 Link to post Share on other sites
standtall Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 It's up and down..ebbs and flows. I've been married for 20+ years. and after a romantic lull from years 5 to 18...mainly due to kids, sports, work...the kids are getting older and were having phase 2 of the marriage were we have been reconnecting and it's great. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 How long did it take you and your other half before the "newlywed" phase was over after being together? Or moving in together? Like the constant texts, lunch time sex, needing to be together and missing them the moment they are gone kinda phase? Well, let's see. It's been 30 years, we still text each day, she still calls me to come home for lunch time quickies and I enjoy her company more than anyone else's. I guess my answer is "not yet"... Mr. Lucky 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Ontos Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 OP - I don't want to be a downer and I'm happy that these other posters have such great relationships. My marriage and many of my friends' went down hill after the wedding cake hit the lips. My hope is for you that you are in this small percentage that will have a long lasting romance. BUT IT IS WORK. You cannot get complacent in your relationship. If things start to get crappy or issues develop on any plane, catch them early and work hard on your marriage. Best of Luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author maryjanekelly Posted September 15, 2016 Author Share Posted September 15, 2016 Well, let's see. It's been 30 years, we still text each day, she still calls me to come home for lunch time quickies and I enjoy her company more than anyone else's. I guess my answer is "not yet"... Mr. Lucky Awe i love this I wish it was this way for everyone 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author maryjanekelly Posted September 15, 2016 Author Share Posted September 15, 2016 OP - I don't want to be a downer and I'm happy that these other posters have such great relationships. My marriage and many of my friends' went down hill after the wedding cake hit the lips. My hope is for you that you are in this small percentage that will have a long lasting romance. BUT IT IS WORK. You cannot get complacent in your relationship. If things start to get crappy or issues develop on any plane, catch them early and work hard on your marriage. Best of Luck! Thank you, and I wish you luck as well. I'm not married, but we live together and he helps raise my kids. He calls me his future bride. But we aren't married. I was just curious what peoples take was on this. We've only been together for a year, and things aren't the same as they were as when he was working. He'd be gone all week, and home home on weekends. It was all fun and continuous laughter back then. Now that he's been laid off for months its been waning. We still get along but fight every once in a while. Idk, it just feels somehow different. Maybe we need to spend some time apart. We are together 24/7 when i'm not at work. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 Thank you, and I wish you luck as well. I'm not married, but we live together and he helps raise my kids. He calls me his future bride. But we aren't married. I was just curious what peoples take was on this. We've only been together for a year, and things aren't the same as they were as when he was working. He'd be gone all week, and home home on weekends. It was all fun and continuous laughter back then. Now that he's been laid off for months its been waning. We still get along but fight every once in a while. Idk, it just feels somehow different. Maybe we need to spend some time apart. We are together 24/7 when i'm not at work. From my journals: "Being 'in love' seems much, but is little. The slow discipline of love, seems little, but is much." Take care. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 "Being 'in love' seems much, but is little. The slow discipline of love, seems little, but is much." Beautifully expressed. People keep waiting for the next big thing in their relationship when it's the little things that bind us together... Mr. Lucky 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gemma1 Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 It was super exciting for the first 6 months and then the infatuation slowly waned after that. But I still like him :-P Still look forward to texts, still happy to see his name on my lock screen and whatnot. Still have sex every day (ish) at random times. We don't work actual jobs so we've been together all day everyday from the start so I know how strange that can be. You just have to try and immerse yourself in hobbies, read books, so you have stuff to talk about and things to keep you occupied. Oh, and be nice to each other. That's the main thing. Just be fking nice to each other. Link to post Share on other sites
lillybelle Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 (edited) I've been with my partner a bit under a year. It was intensely exciting at first as I left my abusive sexless horrible marriage and went straight into the arms of another man. It was dangerous, confusing, intense, thrilling. We courted each other for a long time before we had sex (waiting for my marriage to be over, didn't want to feel like cheaters even though I didn't owe my ex much). The anticipation was insane. We were addicted to each other, being with him was more intense than any drug, and the thought of seeing him made me almost sick with butterflies. I felt disbelief when we started having sex, like I was in a fantasy land, all my problems disappeared. My eyes watered to look at him because he's so sexy. I fell in love, really really fell in love on all levels. Physically he is gorgeous, plus he is my best friend. So I had this mix of total danger yet safety. Absolute novelty of a new partner but the familiarity because I already knew him as a friend. It was the perfect mix to make someone addicted! It was like 1000 teenage crushes and like watching every scene from every epic romance movie and stumbling across a porn scene that is such a huge turn on that you always remember it, times 100! All at once! Now.... well, I'm bored out of my mind. Kidding!!!! Haha. Now it's a bit more comfortable. We've had sex 1000 times so there's no longer that sense of novelty and fun danger. But then all of a sudden I'll feel twinges of it again. It's like going on a theme park ride. The first time it'll make you crazy. After 100 times, you're used to it. But have a break and go on it again a few days later and it feels more exciting again. But there are still times where I look at him and think my God you are the sexiest man I have ever seen. Or the other day we went to a swimming pool and the novelty of it and feeling his body in the water and floating around holding onto him definitely gave me that infatuated feeling. Or when he confides in me, I still get such a rush lying there in bed and petting him and listening to him sometimes. The emotional closeness can bring back those fuzzy feelings too. And the closeness and stability of a relationship develops more over time, which is partly why infatuation dies down. They are both great, but don't exist together every day. I guess it's just the natural evolution of serious relationships. I get times where I crave those intense infatuated feelings and worry they're fading too fast and we're getting too comfortable, especially because I just got out of a long relationship and 8 year marriage. I don't feel ready for that yet. But my marriage was bad, we never had this honeymoon stage and nowhere near the level I do with my current partner. Absence can make the heart grow fonder... if you spend 24/7 together, it will fade quicker. That's what happened with me and my ex husband ( but that was the least of our issues together). I definitely notice my cravings for my partner intensify after we haven't seen each other 2 or more days, and also after we have a wonderful time together and do get that honeymoon feeling back, I feel all fuzzy for a couple of days after. That's why it's like a drug and we want it to keep going. But it's very normal for it to die down or wax and wane when living together. Life also gets in the way. It'll hit you again when you least suspect... I sometimes feel like we're getting "too" comfortable and then my partner will say something that tugs at my emotions, or we'll do something new together, or he does something to really turn me on in the bedroom, and I feel like I'm becoming infatuated with him all over again. Edited October 18, 2016 by lillybelle Link to post Share on other sites
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