Ex's Actions + Next Weekend?

[jadedflower]

I talked to my ex (the dumper) recently (I broke no contact after a week due to a financial situation) and he told me

 

"I hate to admit this, but I think about you often and I miss you."

 

In response, I told him "It's only been a week but I miss you too."

 

He invited me to come over to "catch up," but after talking a bit more during the phone call, he retracted his invite and told me it's better to meet up in a few weeks like what we originally planned and we can see where things are then. (We broke up and we agreed to meet in a month to see where things are - the date is next weekend.)

 

During this phone call, I told him I do not necessarily want a relationship (because I know we can't quick fix our problems), but just to take it slow and maybe we can build a new foundation.

 

However, what I wonder is... why did he retracted back his invite? What can I do during our date to give him a reason(s) to continue seeing me after? Is it possible that he does still have feelings for me but they are just repressed under negative emotions/moments?

 

A month ago, when I met up with him so I can give him back his things (we lived together, the lease ended and we both moved out into our own separate places), he *CRIED* and told me

 

"Is this the last time I'll be seeing you? I still want to hang out with you and I know I'm selfish for wanting to." (He was also the one to insist that we should have a designated day of the month to hang out but no contact till then. HOWEVER, later, he told me he wanted to cut contact off but I insisted on the let's meet in a month idea... He also told me he was going to actively go look for a girl at the gym(????) but then admitted to me last weekend he hasn't talked to anyone lol.)

 

I asked him why he is crying if he told me he doesn't have feelings for me any longer and he didn't give me an answer. (Which is he broke up with me because he doesn't feel the same as before - not emotionally invested nor has any romantic feelings for me. Our relationship had a lot of downs the past year, however, due to constant arguments and limbo phases with one another. Long story short... we moved in together way too soon and our problems kept building up as we didn't change/couldn't communicate to each other properly.)

 

Please help

 

Thank you in advance!

Edited September 16, 2016 by jadedflower

[sooshi]

Lots of downs the past year, constant arguments, limbo phases with each other, problems kept building up, no changes, poor communication.

 

And it's still happening even after the breakup.

 

He throws you a lot of niceties, but those lovely words don't matter whens actions show otherwise.

 

You said it yourself: He's not emotionally invested and doesn't have romantic feelings for you.

 

OP, why do you want to be with someone who's not emotionally invested in you or doesn't have feelings for you?

 

It doesn't matter that he cried, or misses you, or thinks of you often. He's tugging you in because he knows he can. He goes to you because you're comfortable and familiar and he knows you want him so he can toy with you. It feeds his ego.

 

Do you really have so little self-respect that you're willing to be with someone who doesn't even want to be with you? He has shown this time and time again.

 

Block him everywhere and move on. Start working on loving yourself and building some self-respect and self-worth.