Cherry Myst Posted April 22, 2001 Share Posted April 22, 2001 Grad is comming and my BF is moving an hour away in two months to start a new job. We haven't talked about US and what's going to happen. I'm really worried that we may end up splitting up... I'm willing to move with him and get a new job. But I don't know what he's got planned. How can I bring all of this up to him~~? Link to post Share on other sites
Dragonflys Posted April 22, 2001 Share Posted April 22, 2001 Hi I think it is important you do not pressure him about it (keep it up what you have done so far). He needs to be able to make a decision based on how he feels about it all. I'm sure if you mean a lot to him (I can't tell by your post how long you two have been together) the right things will happen and you will be together. Bring it upo at a time when you feel you should start thinking about it if you wish to go with him. As for me, I gotta get back outside.....GOING NOW!!! Oliver Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted April 22, 2001 Share Posted April 22, 2001 I'm guessing the two of you haven't been dating that long since he took a job an hour away without even discussing it with you. Have you discussed a future together before this? But really, an hour really isn't very far. It's not like he's moving to the other side of the country. Maybe to him that distance is no big deal. Do NOT, DO NOT move somewhere only for a man. If you want to move to this new city for a variety of other reasons, then go for it, but do not move there simply to be closer to him. You could end up regretting it. What if you break up? Then you are in a new city all by your lonesome. If you do decide to move there, do not completely latch on to him. Get your OWN apartment. Continue on with YOUR independent life without him. He is probably going to want to start his new life there, as should you--i.e. meeting other people, and becoming part of the community. You really have to tread lightly here. Do not, under any circumstances, bring up the possibility of you moving there before he does. If you do that, you could end up freaking him out and scaring him off. Guys don't like girls who are willing to drop everything for them. If he asks you to move, tell him you'll think about it. Then think about it for a long time and make sure it's the right move for YOU. He clearly made the decision on what job to take on HIS own. You need to make the decision whether or not to follow on YOUR own. Granted, you wouldn't be that far away from your friends, but still, you will be in a new city where you don't know anyone except him. If you have an open, good relationship, then it shouldn't be too hard just to ask him what he thinks the two of you should do once he moves. Whatever you do, don't get clingy. Prepare yourself mentally for either response. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 22, 2001 Share Posted April 22, 2001 If you don't know him well enough to discuss this with him comfortably, then you don't know him well enough to move with him. So either talk to him about the plans or break up with him. Relationships are all about good communication. If you don't have that with him, you don't have anything. Stay in town. Link to post Share on other sites
sparkle Posted April 23, 2001 Share Posted April 23, 2001 You asked, "How can I bring all of this up to him~~?" Who does this relationship consist of? Your boyfriend AND YOU. You should bring up anything that concerns you, at any time, in any way you want to. Just talk to him. You're in this relationship too, not just him. It's your responsibility to bring up any problems or issues that concern you. I agree 100% with what Tony said. If you're having a problem even discussing something like this, there is NO way that you are ready to move with him. By the way, you said "grad is coming", are you referring to a college graduation? Link to post Share on other sites
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