can you have too many options??

[homegrown]

Alright i know this must sound a lil crazy but anyways. For over a year now i have had many relationships with many girls, they never seem to last which is mostly my fault because i usually find someone else to start liking while liking someone else, and then that kinda snowballs.

 

Basically i have too many options and i don't want to hurt anyone but it just seems that's all i do, its not that i don't like the girls! its just that i feel by staying with "this" girl means that i'm settling for her instead of "that" girl! i dont know if anyone understands what i'm trying to say, they prolly just think i'm nuts cause usually its the opposite for some people where they cant find someone at all to care about, but the position i'm in is really confusing cause i feel guilty for liking someone else when i kno there is someone else that likes me tooo.

 

basically i guess i'm on the quest for the perfect girl for me but i just wish that it wasn't like this because these situations leave me feeling more unhappy each time. alll i'm looking for is a little input from you guys and girls about why i might be going through these kinda situations

 

thanks, peace.

[westernxer]

You're not doing anything wrong... until you find the right one, have sex with all of them (provided you can get away with it).

 

Wish I had that player mentality... more power to you.

[amerikajin]

Alright i know this must sound a lil crazy but anyways. For over a year now i have had many relationships with many girls, they never seem to last which is mostly my fault because i usually find someone else to start liking while liking someone else, and then that kinda snowballs.

 

Simple rule of thumb: it's better to have a girl and not want her, than it is to want her and not have her.

 

That may sound a bit harsh, and perhaps it is, but love is sometimes a jungle - eat or be eaten. I don't advocate playing with a girl's feelings, but sometimes you have no choice but to play the numbers game and to consider your options. Dating around - even sleeping around, insofar as you're doing it within respectable limits and acting responsibly - is okay as long as the other person knows what's up. It's when they don't that it becomes a problem - that's called dishonesty. As long as you play fair, you're okay in my book.

 

Basically i have too many options and i don't want to hurt anyone but it just seems that's all i do, its not that i don't like the girls! its just that i feel by staying with "this" girl means that i'm settling for her instead of "that" girl! i dont know if anyone understands what i'm trying to say, they prolly just think i'm nuts cause usually its the opposite for some people where they cant find someone at all to care about, but the position i'm in is really confusing cause i feel guilty for liking someone else when i kno there is someone else that likes me tooo.

 

I think it's okay to keep looking for something until you're satisfied. However, I think we sometimes have to be careful about drifting. I think the most important thing is to know what it is you're looking for in the first place. You can save yourself a lot of time and heartache on either end if you know what you want, and why you want it. Easier said than done, I realize.

 

basically i guess i'm on the quest for the perfect girl for me but i just wish that it wasn't like this because these situations leave me feeling more unhappy each time. alll i'm looking for is a little input from you guys and girls about why i might be going through these kinda situations

 

One option might be to take things a bit more slowly. Speaking as someone who sometimes has the same problem, I think it's easier to get to know the person on a casual basis at first and let a true relationship develop out of it. The fondness you have for the person becomes stronger and more meaningful that way, so when you're having sex it doesn't feel like you're having another go at it with an attractive stranger. You're much more likely to become tethered that way, I think. Well, that's my latest theory anyway.