getsmartie Posted September 19, 2016 Share Posted September 19, 2016 Is anyone here dealing with this relationship? Would love to hear your stories. Link to post Share on other sites
Author getsmartie Posted September 19, 2016 Author Share Posted September 19, 2016 A little background about me. I'm 51 yrs old. Recently my daughter had my grandbaby's baptism and I did not want my brother there. Long history but story cut short he molested me as a child and my parents basically didn't do anything when I finally broke down at 18 to tell them. They didn't kick him out because she didn't want her "perfect" image of her "perfect" family shattered. I was devastated back then. Years later and much therapy I only want limited contact with him (holidays etc). Of course my mom constantly pushes for more. I had a blow up with her last week saying I didn't want him at the baptism and she started crying...how could I do this to her, she wants her whole family there. If he isn't there then she won't come...etc. I swallowed my feelings as I always do because my feelings have never mattered to her anyway. He came, her golden child, and she sat beside him, at my same table, pretending her family is perfect. I'm fuming today! I'm emotionally drained. To deal with this type of parent is emotionally exhausting. I just needed to vent! Is there anyone else dealing with a NPD mother? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted September 19, 2016 Share Posted September 19, 2016 No personal stories but this may help. Daughters of narcissistic mothers Link to post Share on other sites
Pastypop Posted September 19, 2016 Share Posted September 19, 2016 It is awful! Both mil and mother are narassictic. It got really ugly after the grandkids came along. They expect us to drive the kids around all the time to see them. They call that helping us out. Really, helping us out would be coming down to see us or taking the kids to dentist appointments so we don't have to miss work. Right now, one kid and I are living 4 hours from home and have different school breaks. My mom expects us to drive every weekend for the next 3 weeks to drop off the kids on their respective breaks to visit her for a week at a time. Ummmm that's $400.00 a trip and I am working a temp job and need a new water heater and tires. Plus the one with me needs to go see his doctor's while he's on break especially since the deductibles are already paid up for the year. My other one with braces has not seen his dentist in over two months now but somehow they are helping me by keeping my kids for a week? Please, it's a whole lot cheaper to leave them at home. Last week, she started complaining about their sports because it doesn't allow us time to go running up the road every time they snap their fingers. I put all my kids in all the activities strictly for the purpose. I am ingoring her calls and texts until after fall break. Want to take the kids on a very small day trip during that time. We don't speak to the MIL anymore. She always expected us to take the kids to see their cousins who only bullied them and bad mouthed me. No one told you about having deal wth this garbage when deciding to have kids. Link to post Share on other sites
Author getsmartie Posted September 19, 2016 Author Share Posted September 19, 2016 Thanks Elaine. I will look into that site later on today. Pastypop, I hear you. I doesn't stop even after your kids have kids. She is now pulling the same stuff on my 27 year old daughter in terms of seeing her daughter. It's relentless. The biggest problem with narrssists is they actually believe they are the most wonderful parents. Therapy doesn't help. The one time that she came into one of my therapy session she at first told the therapist to fix me and then later on she stormed out when she didn't like the direction it was going. It's like watching an adult have a tantrum. I'm at my wits end. :-( Link to post Share on other sites
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