AG Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 My girlfriend which lives about 5 hours away from me is going places with this guy alone.... she told me about it and says he just a friend and that she just didn't have any1 really to hang out with sometimes and she just calls him up. I asked her if she liked him at all she said no and if i asked her if she thinks he likes him and she won't give me an answer and just change the subject... shes always on at 8:00pm and we usually talk all-night on the phone or the computer. And when i come see her she gets no calls unless it's her dad or mom or her friend which is a girl. Am i just 2 paraniod or should i be worried? Is this normal for girls to hang out with another guy which is just a friend (from work) alone to go bowl/putt putt with each other? any girls here do this at all? Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 How many guys here have had girlfriends hang out with guys they SWEAR up and down are just friends only to have it lead to further complications? (raises hand) Link to post Share on other sites
airbus Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 Yeah the thing is you can't even prevent that from happening, believe me i've tried gaining all the reassurance in the world and not even that works. My gf goes to a club with a guy 10yrs older than her, and swears that he is just a friend. I do wonder sometimes. I guess you could talk to your g/f about this and see what shes says, and then whether you believe her or not is at your discretion. Link to post Share on other sites
BrotherAaron Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 Originally posted by UCFKevin How many guys here have had girlfriends hang out with guys they SWEAR up and down are just friends only to have it lead to further complications? (raises hand) (raises hand) -and adds: this is now a dealbreaker for me. I simply will not trust a girl who's 'hangin out' with another guy to be 'just friends' Link to post Share on other sites
lvgrl Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 Well, some advice from a girl here.. I will raise my hand to one who has been the one to go out while in a LDR. And I dont think there is anything wrong with that, because everyone has friends from the opposite sex..BUT When him and I did go out as "friends" it did turn into more than that. Just because its more of a date setting, and you start to miss that affection from someone and then there ya go.. Im not saying she is doing that, but I know that I did one time or another and the guilt got to me and I told him but me telling him didnt fix things obviously, then he just knew that he was right all along.. Be careful. Link to post Share on other sites
VirginiaBob Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 If you are in a LTR, it is ok to have a friend of the oppostite sex, if you follow these simple rules: 1. Don't spend time with this friend alone. 2. Don't be friends with someone you slept with/kissed/had an LTR with in the past. 3. Don't make it a secret friend. Include your significant other in the friendship. 4. Preferable if this friend is already married or in a LTR (very preferable). Link to post Share on other sites
lvgrl Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 Originally posted by VirginiaBob If you are in a LTR, it is ok to have a friend of the oppostite sex, if you follow these simple rules: 1. Don't spend time with this friend alone. 2. Don't be friends with someone you slept with/kissed/had an LTR with in the past. 3. Don't make it a secret friend. Include your significant other in the friendship. 4. Preferable if this friend is already married or in a LTR (very preferable). Just because 2 people are in a relationship, does not mean things cant happen... And I think its okay to spend time with them alone as long as NOTHING happens..Its always good to have a friend from the opposite sex, it gives you a different insight on things.. Link to post Share on other sites
VirginiaBob Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 "Just because 2 people are in a relationship, does not mean things cant happen..." but if they are not alone together, this is unlikely. "And I think its okay to spend time with them alone as long as NOTHING happens.." the only way to assure that nothing will happen is to never be alone. Did you know that the #1 person likely to rape a woman is a friend? Link to post Share on other sites
lvgrl Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 ok? and whos talking about damn rape? He was asking a question about his gf. So the other person should not be allowed to have friends? and go out with them alone as friends?? So your saying if you were in a relationship and she was 5 hours away and you were going out with your friends that are girls and wouldnt you want her to trust you? Its a two way thing. Link to post Share on other sites
VirginiaBob Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 "So your saying if you were in a relationship and she was 5 hours away and you were going out with your friends that are girls and wouldnt you want her to trust you? " this may not violate my rules in any way. as long as i wasn't alone with her, and my significant other knew her and I was not involved in a relationship with her in my past, there would be no problem. and if you like, I personally have no issue if you don't follow my rules, these are just what works for me and my wife. And we BOTH happily stick to them. Link to post Share on other sites
lvgrl Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 Ok well..thats great..But everyone is different with different views on that. So just cause you think that they shouldnt be left alone because no matter what something is going to happen is great.. But I think thats a pile of s***. Because if you cant trust the person you are with enough to go out with a friend, then why the hell are you with them in the first place? Link to post Share on other sites
VirginiaBob Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 "But I think thats a pile of s***. Because if you cant trust the person you are with enough to go out with a friend, then why the hell are you with them in the first place?" this coming from someone who cheated on her LDR with a friend. Looks like my rules should have been in place. Link to post Share on other sites
lvgrl Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 And the point to that was? I never said I was right for doing what I did, I was very wrong. But I am also not his gf, and everyone is different. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 Never ever trust the single guy friend. No matter what he says, he WILL want your girlfriend. No matter what. Deep down inside. Link to post Share on other sites
VirginiaBob Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 "Never ever trust the single guy friend. No matter what he says, he WILL want your girlfriend. No matter what. Deep down inside." Agreed, unless your girlfriend is ugly as sin which is not a great thing either, this is correct. Men, by thier very nature, want to sleep with as many hot women as possible. And for a man without a girlfriend who has time to hang out with girls just "as friends", multiply the last sentence I made by 2,000. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 I love how when I explain this to girls, they always say, "Yeah right. That's not how it is." Ah, yes. I forgot all women know exactly what all men think. It's damn near universal. Link to post Share on other sites
DRTOMCRUISEMD Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 VB, you make a good point. It is in a guys nature. And Ivgrl, it's kind of ironic you are defending the viewpoint that girls can be "just friends" with a guy, when in your real life situation, the exact opposite happened. And add to that the fact that all the guys on here have had a girl leave them for someone she was "just friends". I'm taking VB's rules as gospel from now on. Link to post Share on other sites
Rosalind Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 Bob and Kevin are both correct Link to post Share on other sites
VirginiaBob Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 No, we are all wrong, even though it happened to all of us and the fact that we are men and know how we operate, it is impossible for guys that are "just friends" to have other motives with our women. (sarcasm intended) Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 Originally posted by UCFKevin How many guys here have had girlfriends hang out with guys they SWEAR up and down are just friends only to have it lead to further complications? *raises hand* I've also been on the other side and have been the "male friend". One of my gf's had another LDR on the side. I never knew about the guy until I found out about their relationship. He, however, knew all about me. My gf had told him about me, when we hung out, etc.. But she also told him we were "just friends". Imagine his surprise when I informed him otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
lvgrl Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 Originally posted by VirginiaBob No, we are all wrong, even though it happened to all of us and the fact that we are men and know how we operate, it is impossible for guys that are "just friends" to have other motives with our women. (sarcasm intended) Does anyone have a gun? Or any kind of utencil would be nice..Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
VirginiaBob Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 yes, please use!! Link to post Share on other sites
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