goldengirl11 Posted September 21, 2016 Share Posted September 21, 2016 (edited) I know I need to get a better perspective from this situation, but fear I have now annoyed this "friend." To cut it short, recently I had had no response from him, which accepted and tried to remain calm about, but over the past week have texted him several times, including a few tonight as admit was very hurt and missing him. It was likely triggered by looking at photos of him together with his new (prettier, much younger) girlfriend on her FB profile (I know, not healthy), who he happens to have more in common with etc, who he "cheated" on me with and dumped me for. I've just had a really bad night, which perhaps hasn't been helped with new medication I'm getting used to. Also, without sounding like a cracked record, I'm writing about the same person in the MM forum. Am thinking of apologising first thing, after asking to meet up etc. Just yesterday I told him I was moving on, so I likely came over as erratic. Would appreciate a sympathetic response, thanks. Edited September 21, 2016 by goldengirl11 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted September 21, 2016 Share Posted September 21, 2016 I don't understand why you're acting as if you are the one with the character flaw when in reality it's your exBF who is lacking in some way. Your only mistake was trusting him when he wasn't worthy of your trust but that's no reason to beat yourself up so badly. This new girl didn't get a prize. In fact I feel sorry for her because we both know that happiness she enjoys right now won't last. Do you feel sorry for her? You were once her and that smile was once yours. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
bubbl Posted September 21, 2016 Share Posted September 21, 2016 I've also stupidly checked my ex's FB page and he is with some girl- she is of course pretty, and he looks AMAZING - he's lost weight and looks better than ever. But it was a big mistake checking his page. I really should have blocked him, but part of me thinks that looks even worse- like i can't cope with seeing his page (yeah, i know i can't lol, but he doesn't need to know that). anyway, i just tried to put it out of my mind- went on and did other things this evening. you should do the same. the guy is a loser- move you, you can do better x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bubbl Posted September 21, 2016 Share Posted September 21, 2016 Plus he said that we could be friends one day, just not now. I'm clinging on to this hope . So pathetic. That's why i don't want to block him. just have to try my damnest not to check his page- you shouldn't either. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Humantk Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 Yeah I feel for you. My ex has not started dating again yet. Its been a month and a half since she left me. From what I gather she hasnt been with anyone. But I still stalked her on social media and it wasnt helping me cope. So 5 days ago I blocked her and got rid of all other connections on social media stuff. But I did meet with her and tell her I would be doing that in person. For a guy that was dumped I got lucky bc she let me down gently. From what ive read it could have been much worse. Its tough going NC. But we need to be tough. They left us. You'll come out of this fire a better person. I need to believe that or else Ill burn too. Work on you, its so cliche but its the only way. My friend recently told me "make your regret HER regret". Theres only one of you in the whole wide world. You are your own rarest animal. No apologies, the lion doesnt apologize to the gazelle. Be that lion. Even if you feel like a sheep on the inside, roar like a lion. If theres one thing I learned from playing baseball is that when you get hit by a pitch, dont ever let them see it hurt. Dont even rub it. Just continue on like it didnt even happen. He cant throw hard enough to hurt you. And now you're on first base. Before you know it someone better will be driving you home Link to post Share on other sites
Author goldengirl11 Posted November 10, 2016 Author Share Posted November 10, 2016 (edited) Finally my password sorted.... I'm afraid this man has torn me apart again recently, after I had been in touch with him again last week on my new no. Basically, it's all going swimmingly for him and it's fair to say he doesn't need me anymore (other than a texting friend at best by the looks of it), certainly not to see anyway. It's amazing how one man can make you feel so worthless!! Have started self harming again since last night too, but hoping to see a friend later. Edited November 10, 2016 by goldengirl11 Link to post Share on other sites
Author goldengirl11 Posted November 10, 2016 Author Share Posted November 10, 2016 (edited) I know he's not worth it and in his words when I found out about this other woman he told me to not be so attached. Now, although he said last night it may sound mean, he doesn't want to meet me as he doesn't want to spoil things with her. He didn't consider this when we were involved did he?! At the time he said proximity was to do with it and they had more in common, saw each other every week in class. Was a "surprise" when things developed with her in June (shortly after we met up with a view of starting a relationship soon after). I told him last night I'd booked to see a show in a couple of weeks in his area, but no guarantee he will see me for a drink of course. Sorry for my ramblings, but just feel so rough today. Edited November 10, 2016 by goldengirl11 Link to post Share on other sites
Author goldengirl11 Posted November 10, 2016 Author Share Posted November 10, 2016 (edited) I'm not a bad person btw, I'm a good person who just wants to be happy. I've just fell for a few wrong men in the past! This man clearly hasn't treated me with respect, despite telling me last night he still thought I was lovely! Will I ever have a faithful relationship?! With this man it looks very doubtful Edited November 10, 2016 by goldengirl11 Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted November 10, 2016 Share Posted November 10, 2016 (edited) It was likely triggered by looking at photos of him together with his new (prettier, much younger) girlfriend on her FB profile (I know, not healthy), who he happens to have more in common with etc, who he "cheated" on me with and dumped me for. Is this the married man that you were 'just friends' with for 3 years who said he would leave his wife for you, and then instead, he left his wife for the younger woman that he is currently with? He has cheated on his ex wife with you and this other woman. He didn't cheat on you. He led you on and I understand that would be painful. Didn't you block him from social media? If so, do it again. Block him, his ex wife and his girlfriend. You know this. Be strong and just do it, you will start to feel better for it. It's a difficult step, but I think it is vital to your healing. To admit that this man is really bad for you. While he was married to someone else, he was suggesting having a baby with you, then going back on it. Why would you be holding out hope to be friends with this horrible person? There are a lot of lovely people in this world who you can be friends with, and he is not one of them! You already have nice friends right? You don't need him. Keep spending time with your real friends. Not some sleazy, cheating married men. I'm not a bad person btw, I'm a good person who just wants to be happy. I've just fell for a few wrong men in the past! This man clearly hasn't treated me with respect, despite telling me last night he still thought I was lovely! Will I ever have a faithful relationship?! With this man it looks very doubtful I can't understand your attachment with this man and why you are still in contact with him? You could have a faithful relationship if you search for someone who is actually available. I gather that you have been involved in 2 affairs now. If he did leave his wife for you, how could you trust him? I pity his girlfriend, but I presume she knows the situation too. Most of all I feel sorry for his former wife. Edited November 10, 2016 by smiley1 Link to post Share on other sites
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