Feminine Energy

[katiegrl]

Just like I said. In this thread and other thread.

 

Enthusiastically! Positively!

 

With HIGH interest!

 

It made him feel great, as it confirmed that how he was pursuing me was working.

 

He was doing all the right things!

 

How could all that NOT make him feel great!

 

He did not, nor did he need me to ask him out, pay or otherwise pursue him to make him feel that way.

 

All he needed was my positive and enthusiastic response to HIM, as a man, my lover... to make him feel awesome .

 

Shining, I don't know if you can understand ^^, as in reading your posts, you need something entirely different.

 

Which is okay too.

 

We all need different things.

 

Toodaloo, being feminine is not work at all for many women, myself included.

 

For some of us it is just who we are, it's our essence, our energy. It just comes naturally, I never even really think about it much, except like now, when asked.

Edited September 22, 2016 by katiegrl

[katiegrl]

No offense, AMJ, but I do not have this problem with my GFs.

 

I am not one to think that "feminine energy" equates to docile and placating. That's some backwards, 1950s thinking right there. If a man can't handle my preference of restaurant, he's not the one for me.

 

I just read this and OMG wholeheartedly agree!!

[katiegrl]

i associate feminine energy with being responsive, emotional, nurturing, passive, patient, intuitive, cute, vain, flirty

 

but tbh i dont think any woman has ALL of these, we're all a mix of feminine and masculine! it's just that some of us are more feminine and some more masculine personalities no matter what our gender or sexual orientation is.

 

Also very true.

 

I am a mix but my feminine definitely outweighs my masculine....

 

But I speak my mind, am not passive, assertive when I need to be, and emotionally strong (the masculine side).

 

But my essence and energy is pretty much feminine.

 

It's a healthy mix in my humble opinion!

Edited September 22, 2016 by katiegrl

[katiegrl]

I recall very early on when we first started dating, we had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant (his choice).... and I took out my wallet... and he said "put your $$ away."

 

I swear I think he was actually insulted!

 

The implication being (in his mind)..... that he could not "provide" for me adequately or something.

 

We were both raised back east, maybe that is why I dunno.

 

But yeah he was all into the provider role. He enjoyed providing.

 

So did my dad, so do my brothers with their girlfriends.

Edited September 22, 2016 by katiegrl

[Shining One]

Just like I said. In this thread and other thread.

 

Enthusiastically! Positively!

 

With HIGH interest!

You're using adverbs and a prepositional phrase to describe how you responded, but you're not mentioning the actual action involved in your response. Perhaps an example would help:

 

 

I went on a date with a woman. I initiated, planned, and paid for the date (masculine energy). She responded by inviting me over and teaching me how to make authentic jerk (feminine energy, I'm assuming).

[AMJ]

So you're basically saying that feminine energy is about annoying men? I know I'm an anomaly, but are men supposed to find this attractive?

 

No, not at all. I guess that was a bad example...surprising, since it's something I see and hear men constantly complaining about.

 

I said that when a woman is acting selfless, sometimes to the extent of not asserting her own needs or wants (example, where she'd prefer to eat) it can annoy men because they just want to make women happy and aren't mind readers.

 

 

No offense, AMJ, but I do not have this problem with my GFs.

 

I am not one to think that "feminine energy" equates to docile and placating. That's some backwards, 1950s thinking right there. If a man can't handle my preference of restaurant, he's not the one for me.

 

No offense taken. I have different groups of female friends, and this really is only an issue with certain groups of friends. Can you honestly say though, that you've never been around a group of women who's inclination to be polite caused the group to be indecisive? I've seen this myself way too many times to even count.

 

I wasn't saying that the man in the example doesn't want to go to her preference of restaurant. I was saying that an example of a woman who acts selfless could be that she wants him to chose the restaurant he wants to go to. OP asked for examples, that was the first one I could think of. We were both responding to the chart someone posted that showed one of the feminine qualities being "Selfless".

 

I'm a little resentful as well, of the notion that feminine energy requires being docile. And I don't really consider myself docile, I think I assert my own needs pretty well in relationships, the workplace, and in general. But I also consider myself feminine.

 

But how is not wanting to make a decision on a menu being selfless? To me, it screams "incapable of own thought"

 

Still missing my point. It's not that the woman can't make her own decision.

It's that she forgoes her own preference to allow him to have his preference of where to eat. As in- do you want to go get pizza or tacos, or sushi? Woman in the example maybe really wants sushi, but she knows that he just had sushi for lunch, or that he doesn't really care for sushi, so she says- let's get tacos! His favorite.

 

Another example is this- when my friends call me to talk on the phone, intuitively one of us can usually tell which one of us needs to make that conversation about her. In seconds really, my closest friends will know if something major is going on in my world, and the majority of the call may be about me. And other times, the reverse is true, I can tell right away that they just really need to vent about their issues. Neither of us keep score, we've been friends for over 20 years, and these are not selfish relationships. But sometimes we know, inherently, how to be selfless.

 

I don't think that ability comes as easily to men. They don't just pick up on that sort of thing seconds into a conversation.

 

Again, this was all in response to the chart someone posted that says being selfless is a feminine quality. I think it's pretty understandable for women to resent that our identity is attached to being selfless, because gone unchecked (ie- if in a relationship with a selfish person) that means our needs will rarely get met.

 

Women who are mothers obviously become selfless without even thinking, always tending to their childrens' needs before their own. I think it really happens without our knowing it, sometimes. And this is why we see so many women make sacrifices early on in the relationship, get burnt out later in the relationship.

 

Has anyone never seen a woman who hates to go camping suddenly turn into Mountain Goddess because that's what her guy loves to do? Or someone who hates sports suddenly become the world's biggest baseball fan? My friend used to be a 49ers fan (her ex), and now she's a Green Bay fan (her husband). I say- WTF can you not have your own football team at least? The truth is she doesn't care about football at all. But she thinks she's being supportive to her husband.

 

For what it's worth, I think there's a lot more to being feminine than just being selfless.

[AMJ]

You're using adverbs and a prepositional phrase to describe how you responded, but you're not mentioning the actual action involved in your response. Perhaps an example would help:

 

 

I went on a date with a woman. I initiated, planned, and paid for the date (masculine energy). She responded by inviting me over and teaching me how to make authentic jerk (feminine energy, I'm assuming).

 

Or- she responded by inviting you over, making you dinner, and letting you rip her clothes off, all the while reacting like you are the sexiest man alive.

[katiegrl]

You're using adverbs and a prepositional phrase to describe how you responded, but you're not mentioning the actual action involved in your response. Perhaps an example would help:

 

 

I went on a date with a woman. I initiated, planned, and paid for the date (masculine energy). She responded by inviting me over and teaching me how to make authentic jerk (feminine energy, I'm assuming).

 

Okay gotcha.

 

But tbh, I think he mostly meant how responsive I was sexually.

 

Or how about when he called I was super happy to hear from him, if I wasn't around to pick up, I would send him a text telling him I was out and about and would get back soon. Never left him hanging.

 

One time, we had plans with friends for dinner, and when he came to pick me up, I was SO happy to see him, I literally jumped into his arms (he is 6'2" so easy to do).

 

From there we jumped into bed and never did make it to dinner! Our friends understood.

 

I dunno I was just genuinely really happy to be in his presence, have you never had a woman respond enthusiastically to you Shining?

 

I find your questions quite strange.

[katiegrl]

Okay gotcha.

 

But tbh, I think he mostly meant how responsive I was sexually.

 

Or how about when he called I was super happy to hear from him, if I wasn't around to pick up, I would send him a text telling him I was out and about and would get back soon. Never left him hanging.

 

One time, we had plans with friends for dinner, and when he came to pick me up, I was SO happy to see him, I literally jumped into his arms (he is 6'2" so easy to do).

 

From there we jumped into bed and never did make it to dinner! Our friends understood.

 

I dunno I was just genuinely really happy to be in his presence, have you never had a woman respond enthusiastically to you Shining?

 

I find your questions quite strange.

 

Also, I accepted him as is I did not nag or complain that he do this or that, or didn't do.

 

I let him "be" I accepted him.

 

That was huge for him.

[katiegrl]

Or- she responded by inviting you over, making you dinner, and letting you rip her clothes off, all the while reacting like you are the sexiest man alive.

 

Yup! Exactly.

 

Except he was the chef not me!

 

I am now learning though!

[Shining One]

I dunno I was just genuinely really happy to be in his presence, have you never had a woman respond enthusiastically to you Shining?

Of course I have. I've just never considered "being happy" an action.

[jen1447]

On page 3 now and I have a feeling Shining's still no closer to knowing what this "feminine energy" might actually be.

 

So here's sth tangible - the ability to multi-orgasm.

[katiegrl]

You're using adverbs and a prepositional phrase to describe how you responded, but you're not mentioning the actual action involved in your response. Perhaps an example would help:

 

 

I went on a date with a woman. I initiated, planned, and paid for the date (masculine energy). She responded by inviting me over and teaching me how to make authentic jerk (feminine energy, I'm assuming).

 

LOL @ me making authentic jerk.

 

No Shining, even if I could, making authentic jerk or anything else would not "turn him on".

 

Those are action oriented things.

 

I was RESPONSIVE.

 

I don't know how else to explain but it worked for us!

 

We broke up for other reasons which I have explained in previous threads.

[katiegrl]

Of course I have. I've just never considered "being happy" an action.

 

Again he didn't need me to "take action" to TURN HIM ON.

 

He needed me to be responsive (sexually and otherwise) to *his* actions.

 

You don't get it cause you cannot relate.

 

You need different things to turn you on I guess.

 

Like her *doing* for you, which is fine if that works for YOU.

[elaine567]

Also, I accepted him as is I did not nag or complain that he do this or that, or didn't do.

 

I let him "be" I accepted him.

 

That was huge for him.

 

OK but at what cost to you?

 

Is he reciprocating with letting you "be", and accepting you (ie the real you) or is it all about him "being" and you supporting that.

[Shining One]

He needed me to be responsive (sexually and otherwise) to *his* actions.

 

You don't get it cause you cannot relate.

 

You need different things to turn you on I guess.

 

Like her *doing* for you, which is fine if that works for YOU.

So, would you say that a feminine energy response is responding to a man in the specific way he desires her to respond, in whatever form that may be?

[Toodaloo]

Gumption. I think having gumption is so important to a positive feminine energy...

 

katiegrl you are making it sound like feminine energy is to simply pat guys on the head and give them a blow job when they are good boys... great for when you are playing games on "Training Tuesdays" but not so great for every day.

 

Besides you would get jaw ache and they would be rushing round in a pink pinny...

 

Nope, sorry but that is just not it.

[katiegrl]

Shining just curious.

 

If your gf made you authentic jerk, or even a steak dinner, would that give you a massive boner? Lol

 

What if when you stopped over, she immediately jumped into your arms so happy to see you? Would that?

 

Just curious.

[Redhead14]

Feminine energy is about being, acceptance and receiving while masculine energy is about doing, go getting, goal seeking and giving. It’s passive, agreeable and accommodating while masculine energy is active and being in control (and often appears controlling). It’s the being okay of following a man’s lead and trusting his leadership.

 

And, you will see all over these boards that that is well-encouraged. Sit back and let the man lead, especially in the beginning.

 

Agreeable doesn't mean subjugation or being a doormat. It's about accepting that men and women are different by nature and a if woman has a man that she can trust enough to lead her in a respectful, responsible, comforting, secure way, she is agreeable to following his lead.

 

That doesn't mean she can't or shouldn't voice her opinions, ideas, thoughts, etc., she should do that and trust that the man will weigh her input, etc. equally and give due consideration of them.

 

It's about a woman being a woman and letting a man be a man.

 

For various reasons, lots of women have forgone or confuse being feminine with feminism. Women who become staunch feminists lose at least some of their femininity. Like it or not. They are squashing their femininity.

 

It's about a woman's ability to trust the man she is with. If she's done a good job of evaluating a partner, she can rest well that he will take his role as the man in the relationship and lead responsibly and with input and guidance from her when necessary. It's about not needing to have control and being supportive.

[AMJ]

So, would you say that a feminine energy response is responding to a man in the specific way he desires her to respond, in whatever form that may be?

 

I'd say not that she responds in the specific way he desires her to respond, but she responds authentically to how she is feeling, and is not afraid to show her emotions. Uninhibited. Supposedly men are more capable of showing their own emotions when they feel it's safe to do so, with a woman who is open with her feelings.

 

This goes against my indecisive "where to eat" example because that was about women being selfless.

 

The feminine response, however, to a masculine energy, should be about being authentically true to herself and how she feels.

[jen1447]

To me, all this sounds like various ramblings about "what it means to be a woman." Which is perfectly fine, everyone's got their take on that and it all counts, but it still doesn't really describe "feminine energy." And I think the reason for that is there's really no such thing, any more than there's "masculine energy."

 

Men mostly act like men and women mostly act like women, but "energy" isn't gender-based or gender-limited and women can sometimes do men stuff while men can sometimes do women stuff. Not sure it's deserving of much more analysis than that.

[Shining One]

Shining just curious.

 

If your gf made you authentic jerk, or even a steak dinner, would that give you a massive boner? Lol

 

What if when you stopped over, she immediately jumped into your arms so happy to see you? Would that?

 

Just curious.

This thread isn't about what turns me on. It's actually very easy for a woman to turn me on. Now, making sure I'm still next to her in bed when she wakes up in the morning is the hard part.

[katiegrl]

OK but at what cost to you?

 

Is he reciprocating with letting you "be", and accepting you (ie the real you) or is it all about him "being" and you supporting that.

 

Yes of course!

[katiegrl]

Gumption. I think having gumption is so important to a positive feminine energy...

 

katiegrl you are making it sound like feminine energy is to simply pat guys on the head and give them a blow job when they are good boys... great for when you are playing games on "Training Tuesdays" but not so great for every day.

 

Besides you would get jaw ache and they would be rushing round in a pink pinny...

 

Nope, sorry but that is just not it.

 

LOL, omg no hardly. I dunno know what to say other than what I have.

 

I mean how can I explain my essence, my energy? These are not tangible things easily explained.

 

I only know what works for me and my bfs in our relationships.

 

I prefer masculine action oriented men. Men who know what they want and go after it. Fearless, confident.

 

In turn when I am very into a guy I am responsive to his actions, to his pursuit, not just sexually but in lots of ways.

 

It's my yin to his yang. It is what makes us compatible.

 

I DO NOT and will not acquiesce to whatever he wants or needs me to be.

 

I can compromise, sure, but I won't change who I am, my own essence, my own energy. Nor do I expect him to.

 

I do ME, and he does HIM and either we are gonna click or we won't.

 

If not we both move on.

[AMJ]

Now, making sure I'm still next to her in bed when she wakes up in the morning is the hard part.

 

Ouch. What does that have to do with feminine energy, I wonder?