Feminine Energy

[Shining One]

Ouch. What does that have to do with feminine energy, I wonder?

Nothing. I was just responding to Katie's question. I was also using hyperbole. I've never actually snuck out on a woman while she was sleeping.

[katiegrl]

Ouch. What does that have to do with feminine energy, I wonder?

 

It has nothing to do with feminine energy AMJ.

 

Just speculating, but Shining One still clearly doesn't understand our different "energies" and they complement each other...maybe he does't even believe in such things.

 

Some people don't.

 

They are more about -- I do an action for you, you do an action for me.

 

Keeping score of who does what, and resenting it if he/she doesn't live up to their particular expectations. Even dumping them for it. Like Shining has said if a woman doesn't pay or offer to pay by the 3rd or 4th date, he will dump her.

 

That has nothing to do with complementary energies IMO, but if it works for him, and how he and other men wish to conduct their RLs, far be it for me to debate them on that.

 

To each his own.

[AMJ]

I work with teenagers. A lot has changed, with kids today. But the basic male-female interaction dance is still pretty much the same. A boy will do just about anything to get a girl's attention- make himself stand out athletically, showcasing his physical ability. Or tell lots of jokes, to make her laugh. The girl, when she's interested, responds by flirting- flipping her hair, swaying from side to side, making her eyes all big and batting lashes, smiling, laughing at his jokes, listening to his every word. Or playfully pushing his shoulder, gently hitting him and saying "Stop it!" while the tone of her voice clearly demonstrates she loves talking to him.

 

I don't often see these roles reversed when it comes to kids. Adults, on the other hand, all the time.

[xxoo]

Feminine energy to me is nurturing.

 

My husband and I both provide and both nuture--for each other and for our children. But providing seems to be more his natural motivation, and nurturing seems to be more mine. We have very traditional male/female energy in that way. We are both strongly attracted to the other for these traits.

Edited September 22, 2016 by xxoo

[katiegrl]

 

Is he reciprocating with letting you "be", and accepting you (ie the real you) or is it all about him "being" and you supporting that.

 

It's both actually. I let him "be" him and he lets me be "me."

 

We both accept each other exactly how we are.

 

We also both support each other in that regard!

 

If there is a conflict, we attempt to understand each other better and compromise.

[SwordofFlame]

If I'm interpreting this correctly, some of you are saying feminine energy is being passive and letting the man have what he wants?

[xxoo]

If I'm interpreting this correctly, some of you are saying feminine energy is being passive and letting the man have what he wants?

 

In the bedroom, maybe

[AMJ]

If I'm interpreting this correctly, some of you are saying feminine energy is being passive and letting the man have what he wants?

 

Only when what he wants is me, and the feeling is mutual.

[katiegrl]

If I'm interpreting this correctly, some of you are saying feminine energy is being passive and letting the man have what he wants?

 

Well speaking personally, my ex was sexually dominant which worked for me, worked for him, worked for US as a couple....

 

But it was NOT about what HE wanted.... it was what we BOTH wanted.

 

I wanted it and enjoyed it as much as him!!

 

But as I and others have said, feminine energy involves SO much more than just sex although sex is very important for obvious reasons!

Edited September 22, 2016 by katiegrl

[eye of the storm]

I have never bought into the male/female energy. Energy is energy.

 

To me it sounds like this discussion is more about traits. Masculine/feminine traits. Paying or cooking dinner isn't energy. It is societal traditions/expectations or personality traits.

 

Getting turned on by someone is chemical, physical, and mental. Not energy.

 

When I date, I look for someone with calm or neutral energy. Someone I can relax around. We have all known people who exhaust us just sitting next to us. They have turbulent or uncontrolled energy.

 

When I think of energy, I think positive, negative, or neutral. Just like the energy that powers our electronics.

[AMJ]

I have never bought into the male/female energy. Energy is energy.

 

To me it sounds like this discussion is more about traits. Masculine/feminine traits. Paying or cooking dinner isn't energy. It is societal traditions/expectations or personality traits.

 

Getting turned on by someone is chemical, physical, and mental. Not energy.

 

When I date, I look for someone with calm or neutral energy. Someone I can relax around. We have all known people who exhaust us just sitting next to us. They have turbulent or uncontrolled energy.

 

When I think of energy, I think positive, negative, or neutral. Just like the energy that powers our electronics.

 

I'm attracted to a man's energy though, not his traits. Simply being funny or kind isn't enough to turn me on.

 

There are different degrees of energy- some people to me completely lack energy.

[eye of the storm]

I'm attracted to a man's energy though, not his traits. Simply being funny or kind isn't enough to turn me on.

 

There are different degrees of energy- some people to me completely lack energy.

 

Its probably pheromones.

[Imajerk17]

I do think there is such a thing as masculine energy and feminine energy. Masculine energy is INITIATIVE. Feminine energy is RECEPTIVITY. We men are the ones who "ask women out", make the plans, initiate physical intimacy; (interested) women respond enthusiastically to our advances. We protect, she cheerleads us. We give strength, she gives comfort and joy.

 

I think that it is actually hard-wired into (at least) most of us on some level. Many women won't ask men out, for example, because they may have tried it already and it never seemed to worked out that well e.g., the man was never really interested (or he would have picked up on her hints and asked her out himself), she felt awkward doing it, ect.

Edited September 22, 2016 by Imajerk17

[katiegrl]

 

I do think there is such a thing as masculine energy and feminine energy. Masculine energy is INITIATIVE. Feminine energy is RECEPTIVITY. We men are the ones who "ask women out", make the plans, initiate physical intimacy; (interested) women respond enthusiastically to our advances. We protect, she cheerleads us. We give strength, she gives comfort and joy.

 

 

Bingo!

 

Perhaps since a man has posted this, the concept will sink in more with folks.

[elaine567]

.

 

I think that it is actually hard-wired into (at least) most of us on some level. Many women won't ask men out, for example, because they may have tried it already and it never seemed to worked out that well e.g., the man was never really interested (or he would have picked up on her hints and asked her out himself), she felt awkward doing it, ect.

 

But that may be more about cultural expectations and social conditioning, rather than "hard wiring".

[deep_night]

Also very true.

 

I am a mix but my feminine definitely outweighs my masculine....

 

But I speak my mind, am not passive, assertive when I need to be, and emotionally strong (the masculine side).

 

But my essence and energy is pretty much feminine.

 

It's a healthy mix in my humble opinion!

 

yes, that sounds very healthy indeed! :3 i wish i was more assertive for sure :/ i mean, i voice my opinions when im about to blow up, but because im usually patient i just dont react when i should. there may be a hurricane in my head but it wont come out.

 

i do have too much yin :/ maybe except vain (only because im not pretty, if i was pretty i think id be very vain because id have something to work with) and flirty (because im shy). i dont think being yin makes one more attractive - men are not very respectful of my personality usually, but what puzzles me is that for some reason they stick around, i havent exactly pinpointed why.

[katiegrl]

But that may be more about cultural expectations and social conditioning, rather than "hard wiring".

 

Interesting theory.

 

Except in my case my mom was the dominant/male energy, she actually pursued my dad and even asked him to marry her!

 

My dad was passive in their marriage (he was a great provider though, my mom did not work outside the home).

 

These were my role models growing up.

 

Ironically, when he divorced my mom and remarried (I was in my late teens), HE was the one who pursued my step mom!

 

Anyway, I guess my point is I grew up with a dominant mom, who ran the show, but yet I become attracted to men who tend to be more dominant.

 

Not in a bad "dictatorship" sort of way, but in a healthy masculine energy way.

 

I think it's just in my DNA or something.... but go figure!

[Toodaloo]

I do think there is such a thing as masculine energy and feminine energy. Masculine energy is INITIATIVE. Feminine energy is RECEPTIVITY. We men are the ones who "ask women out", make the plans, initiate physical intimacy; (interested) women respond enthusiastically to our advances. We protect, she cheerleads us. We give strength, she gives comfort and joy.

 

I think that it is actually hard-wired into (at least) most of us on some level. Many women won't ask men out, for example, because they may have tried it already and it never seemed to worked out that well e.g., the man was never really interested (or he would have picked up on her hints and asked her out himself), she felt awkward doing it, ect.

 

I dunno Jerk...

 

I think guys would get pretty fed up if they dated women who never initiated anything. There has to be middle ground where men are allowed to explore both their masculine and their softer feminine sides...

 

A big strong independent man doing things like soothing a baby to sleep or being gentle is so incredibly sexy...

 

Equally I think men find women who are strong and capable highly desirable...

 

Its too fluid to be able to really define it... Like Charisma... Its fluid. Its a combination of several (often conflicting) aspects that when they come together are electrifying.

 

Thats my tuppence worth anyway.

[basil67]

Still missing my point. It's not that the woman can't make her own decision.

It's that she forgoes her own preference to allow him to have his preference of where to eat. As in- do you want to go get pizza or tacos, or sushi? Woman in the example maybe really wants sushi, but she knows that he just had sushi for lunch, or that he doesn't really care for sushi, so she says- let's get tacos! His favorite.

 

Ah, yes. We both do this frequently. I don't think it's feminine vs masculine though - I just think it's being thoughtful.

 

I was saying that an example of a woman who acts selfless could be that she wants him to chose the restaurant he wants to go to. OP asked for examples, that was the first one I could think of. We were both responding to the chart someone posted that showed one of the feminine qualities being "Selfless".

 

Interesting that you view this as selfless. My hubby's ex before me did this and it's one of the reasons he got fed up with her and ended the relationship. She was probably trying to be flexible, but he saw it as an enormous drain having to make all the decisions about their social time.

 

FWIW, the only time I've seen groups of women unable to decide on what to order is when we're too busy talking to look at the menu and have to keep telling the wait staff to come back in 10 mins.

Edited September 23, 2016 by basil67

[elaine567]

Interesting that you view this as selfless. My hubby's ex before me did this and it's one of the reasons he got fed up with her and ended the relationship. She was probably trying to be flexible, but he saw it as an enormous drain having to make all the decisions about their social time.

 

Selfless: having little concern for one's own interests

 

To extend AMJ's analogy,

By putting him forever first and allowing him to make the decisions and eating the pizza he likes at his favourite restaurant, instead of the sushi she likes at hers, she is exhibiting selfless behaviour. She doesn't want to rock the boat by suggesting he eat sushi as she knows he doesn't like it and he makes that plain, but she hides her distaste for pizza as she knows he likes it. She smoothes the waters and makes his world better at the expense of her own.

I agree with AMJ that some women are so skilful at it, that it may be imperceptible to many men. He thinks she loves pizza when the reality is she hates it.

 

I think such acts of selflessness may be one of the causes of resentment in women as they get older and wiser. She is continually making his life better by ignoring her own needs and wants, until one day she wakes up and realises he isn't actually doing the same for her. He is leading his own life and she is merely acting in a supporting role.

She starts doing stuff for herself, he doesn't like it, being so used to being number one in his own life and in hers too. They fight.

"She has changed, she is not the woman I married, she is toxic..."

 

Of course not all women and marriages/relationships are like this, but society still tends to think that women need to be there supporting men and kids at the expense of themselves.

[Haydn]

I dunno Jerk...

 

I think guys would get pretty fed up if they dated women who never initiated anything. There has to be middle ground where men are allowed to explore both their masculine and their softer feminine sides...

 

A big strong independent man doing things like soothing a baby to sleep or being gentle is so incredibly sexy...

 

Equally I think men find women who are strong and capable highly desirable...

 

Its too fluid to be able to really define it... Like Charisma... Its fluid. Its a combination of several (often conflicting) aspects that when they come together are electrifying.

Thats my tuppence worth anyway.

 

 

This........................

[BluEyeL]

No offense, AMJ, but I do not have this problem with my GFs.

 

I am not one to think that "feminine energy" equates to docile and placating. That's some backwards, 1950s thinking right there. If a man can't handle my preference of restaurant, he's not the one for me.

To be honest I often do let my man decide the restaurant and then proceed to say it's an awesome choice, and I do it on purpose , just to make him feel good.

 

Sometimes I pick but I let him pick maybe 75% of the time for that reason, not because I don't know where I want to go.

[Toodaloo]

To be honest I often do let my man decide the restaurant and then proceed to say it's an awesome choice, and I do it on purpose , just to make him feel good.

 

Sometimes I pick but I let him pick maybe 75% of the time for that reason, not because I don't know where I want to go.

 

Blu - you are so sweet!

 

I have been known to do that same! Its finding the sneaky ways to allow them to feel good about themselves. Its not that we are not capable its that we trust them enough to allow them to take control...

[Shining One]

I'd like to thank everyone for their input. Jen's posts resonate the most with my way of thinking. I have come to the conclusion that when a woman says she "responds with her feminine energy", she means she's doing whatever she feels like. In some cases, that means she does nothing, in other cases, she does something. If I run across this phrase again, I'll just have to ask the specific poster in question what she means.

[SpiralOut]

This is probably the cultural conditioning talking, but I'm more likely to see someone as masculine if they are stoic.