Is she gone?

[addi]

Hey i went through a relationship where my ex basically left me after i found out from her friend that she liked someone else and was flirting with them in which she started talking down on me and in turn i told her i cheated which i didnt and told her move on and she blocked me from whatsapp, we been together for a year and 2 months, now its been 7 months past and recently one of my friends messaged her and talked to her about me not moving on and still wanting her but telling me i should move on without me knowing and she responded that she has moved on and she is trying to avoid anything that can bring back memories, this week i posted a picture on ig with another girls hand on mine and she blocked me from that, previously around the breakup she blocked me from whatsapp, now im wondering what to do cause i still want to be with her but i dont wanna contact her and make it worst for me.

[JewelD]

Don't contact her and move on. You both lied to each other so you're not able to function as a pair in a relationship. Why do you want someone who cheated on you? Don't be anyone's second choice.

[addi]

She never said she cheated thats the thing, she just flirted with someone else and hide it and also she did lie about going out too she lied that she went to a beach trip with some friends when it was a beach party. But thats not the point I know people arent perfect so i believe in forgiving and working things out but she's ignoring me now since i lied about cheating on her and she is saying I gave up and her and i broke up with her when it was really her who did it, i was fighting for her but she wasnt fighting.

But when i saw her another time she ran and hide and peeped before she started saying she moved on.

[addi]

Me and my ex were together for a year and 2 months, we were introduced through a mutual friend. We hooked up and liked each other at the starting I kinda gave mixed signals ether I wanted her or not because I started to hardly talk to her but that was because I was mostly focused on getting money so I can set my life straight, fast forward a month after we made it official and I told her we were together we started talking more and she started coming over to my college more just to see me but she started to feel a way because I wouldn't do the same for her I would meet her when I can and that's because I was focused on getting my cash and that was my number one priority.

 

I did make time for her time to time but that's when she complained so it was like I was living single but committed and it got to a point where she fell deep and started being clingy and that made me lose attraction but I still wanted to be with just her so I never left but I put her through some ruff time cause i started giving her tough love and I was a bit too ruff at one point and she felt bad about it but i was doing it so she could get back to how she was before when she was calm with me being ruff she thought i was cheating because it started getting bad, that went on for 3 months she finished college and was ready to go look for a job. Bare in mind before this we did go out and go on dates but she was upset because a few of the times other people tagged along but they weren't really there we still got alone time.

 

Fast forward to a point where I started going to gym, she basically started wanting me to use a day to not go gym or meet on her terms I wasn't really having that so I would always so we could meet before or after and she would always want me to compromise, while meeting her i could tell she looked pissed off and mad and upset and unhappy, after a certain point she was like ill regret all of this and wish I did, so i took some time and started thinking things through i started praying that I could do better and open up a little just to show her i cared and im not cheating and playing with her emotions and eventually i did, things became more easier as i felt drawn to her more so i started compromising a little more for her but not too much, this was when i stopped gym but she was in problems with her parents and needed me to help her and i came through for her and took her back home to her house a few days after she said she wanted to come over and she did and i bought food for me and her in case she was feeling hungry and we started getting into it with hugging and kissing and it lead to the bedroom as i was about to take off her pants she said she was on her period and that turned me off so i didn't but after that day i would've came to realize she lied and we never got intimate before that in term of sex, so she left that day and i started feeling frustrated cause im a guy doing without sex for a long period of time but i wasn't really rushing her i was being patient cause i wanted to respect her when she feels comfortable to do it we could, day after she needed me to come through for her again cause her and her mom got into and argument and she left the house to her grand-mom and i came through for her, but i took a little time because i was cleaning my room etc then she was like she would've came over but i came late, i was mad and didn't wanna talk to her and wanting to just find another girl but i never left i stayed and be patient,(i wanna add in there was a moment when i could've been spontaneous at one point when we went out and i could've done it with her in a public place but i didn't n i told her i wouldn't at the time just because i respected her that much) so fast forward a month she got a job and started working she wanted me to come through after she finished work on certain days and i was focused on business and getting cash at the time so i didn't really have the time to come through and business was moving slow so i had to be putting in more work.

 

After awhile she went through a phase where she couldn't eat for 2 weeks and had to go to the doctor i felt bad really bad for putting her through that but i still cared for her, i took her out for her birthday some weeks after and that's when things shifted, i started falling deeply for her and wanting her around more and wanting to make up for all the times when she wanted me around and i could get to be so i started finding ways to make it possible and in turn i became clingy and she started pushing me away, it got so bad that she started giving me tough love and being hard on me but she always came through when i wanted to meet her, it got to a point where she even started sending half naked pictures in the mornings before she leaves for work and telling me she was finally sexually frustrated.

 

I was enthused by it but i kept in mind every time i got to the point of taking off her pants she mentions period so i just saw it as nothing and i because addicted to jerking off as i had to please myself and then i told her about it. After a few months she started drifting some more and started finding me unattractive and now if i touch her in certain places she moves me hand and doesn't tolerate it also started not wanting to kiss me as much anymore, and i started feeling the signs that she was cheating or had someone else but i didn't say it to her until i realize she started lying to me, at the end of that year on new years we went out but she didn't really want to but still did,she felt more distant and was looking around and sitting by herself, i would get up and walk to her and ask if she was ok because prior to that from the crowd she told me she kinda fainted and was about to fall and i caught her and she went to the bathroom, i didn't realize this until she came out and told me and we left the club area and went to the bar where she could get water and sit and drink, so after a few hours of sitting and looking around and on her phone she wanted to go home,while in the car a text came on her phone 4:30 am while beside me and it was from a guy, i didn't see what the text said but she closed it out and didn't read it, she also told me earlier that nite that she would be going out with friends to a beach trip but i came to find out it wasn't a beach trip and instead it was a beach party and she went with a bunch of guys, i was jealous and confused and insecure as to why she would lie and not just be straight up about it if it wasn't a big deal.

 

I started feeling like she has someone else from the text message and one day i told her i was flirted with another girl she use to always see me liking photos off on Instagram just so she could confess but she didn't she started ignoring me,and i was in deep in love so i went out of my way a few days after and bought her a gift of flowers and sent it to her work place and when she got it she called me and asked if it was i who sent them and i said yes, she was happy and bragged about it to her friends and things felt good for that time being , after a few weeks it went back to her pushing me away, and it got so bad she started saying she cant meet and don't want to meet or don want to go out and went on to a day when i said ok im going to go out by myself if she is not coming and i did but my close brother came along and we went to watch movies.

 

I was insecure and wondered why she is doing all this, so one of her friends messaged me about something and i decided to tell the friend that i felt insecure and im starting to not trust her, her friend told me she hasn't been completely loyal to you, and she doesn't deserve you, she is just doing to you what she did to her exes and i was shocked i wanted her to tell more so i brought up a situation where she had a work party a few months before the new year and i asked if i could go with her she said no and i was ok with it, her friend told me she danced with a guy that she likes at work a guy that bought her a watch as a pixie that she wears most of the time and she also told me how he gave it to her, he made someone give it to her while she was on the road, and from thinking about it all i got mad and upset and hurt and i asked her friend if she cheated but surely her friend wouldn't know about that but she said there was more and i should talk to my girl about it but i wanted to hear it from her but she wouldn't tell, so immediately i hung up the call and i messaged my girl but the messages didn't go through and prior to that she sent a message saying wow so i really went out and that im possibly with someone else.

 

The following day she was out doing a run for her workplace this walkathon, and i texted her and called her and she wouldn't pick up the call but she texted back and i started going off on her about the guy she likes and wondering if she was stepping out on us and she got mad and started telling me off and saying i can leave if i wanted to, and i loved her too much so i didn't want to leave so i was trying to work it out with her so i waited till she got home but she went by her grandmothers house instead and we started messaging over whatsapp, we started arguing about the situation and she got mad and started talking down to me saying i should F** off and i can leave if i want and it got to the point she broke up with me 3 times but i was pushing to meet up so we can talk about it and her friend was telling me everything she was saying in their group chat that im weak and she need a real man, so i defended myself by saying something like your gonna be missing out if you decide to leave, eventually we got to a calm point and she said she would meet me whenever i want to meet and i chose the following day we met but my head wasn't straight i was in love and fighting and didn't want her to go and i couldn't eat properly for those 2 weeks, while meeting she basically pointed all the blame on me and saying she doesn't trust me and she dont think we will get back together and she was being really manipulative and turning everything i said back on me by guilt tripping me and she asked me who told her about the guy and i got weak after 5 mins of her threatening for me to tell her or she leave so i told her.

 

That nite was ruff but while we were leaving she tried to give me a friend zone hug and i said no and hugged her close and we walked together to take a bus, while we were walking she was watching out for me and pulling me out of the road to make sure a car didn't bump me and she was smiling with me,and she would ask if her hair looks nice and i would not answer and she said maybe i didn't like it, then on the bus we talk some more and she checked my phone and saw all her pictures and said i should vault it but on my home screen was a picture of another girl, just so i can have in mind i have options to have a little guard, and she gave me a rude look when she saw it but smiled as she saw her pictures and we did our lovers hand hold on our journey on the bus, also before that nite i deleted her pictures off Instagram so she thought i moved on but when she saw that i couldn't eat she said oh your going through that, anyway after we got off the bus and was about to part ways she hugged me and i hugged her tight and told her ill see her later.

 

When she got home she messaged again saying i didn't tell her everything and that i argued with her friend which was something i forget about at the time of our conversation, and she dont think she was getting back, leading up to a weeks past i was going through immense pain and anger to realizing that she basically played me and i can trust her i recorded a song and put it out same day and i also started trying to forget her but couldn't, i really loved her but i wanted to see her burn at that point in time,i started feeling insecure and i told her friend that hooked us up that i cant trust her and ive moved on, when i know i didn't , couple days after i messaged her and told her that i cheated with multiple woman and that she should move on and she replied what she did to deserve that, i didn't cheat with multiple women tho but she believed and i said she was shady then i left and went to the club and got drunk, next morning she blocked me from whatsapp and she wouldnt reply to my messages so i started trying to use my head and tell her to move on and that ive messed up and maybe in the future me and her can get back if she is still down.

 

This went on for weeks leading up to the point i think i saw her but walked passed her and i felt her presence and turned around and realize the person i walked pass ran and was peeping at me, i wasnt fully sure if it was her when i looked back i should've walked towards the person to see but instead i walked off and went to a spot where me and her would usually hang out after she finished working, at the end of that week she was to meet her friend that hooked us up the friend that hooked us up came beside me and said some people move on faster than others and from there i realized what i had done i really made her leave and let go, she still had me on Instagram at the time but she doesn't post she would just like pictures of other guys and of hairstyles and clothing.

 

Then there was a death that happened a few weeks after where i lost 2 family members in an accident and i reached out to her and told her she the first one i wanted to tell but couldn't, she just said live for those who passed and be strong since then she hasn't said anything to me and it went on where i wanted her back and tried to reach out to explain that i didn't cheat on her but she didn't reply and her friend thinks i cheated too so they didn't want to trust me, when really i just said that in hope to see if she would confess which was stupid,weeks after there was a carnival and the friend that told me about the guy she liked wanted me to go with her, and i didn't and her other friend also asked to if i was going as well and i told her that the other friend asked, she cancelled but the friend that wanted me to go with her came through and i realized that she was holding my hand in a lock and smiling as if me and her were together at the time i didn't fully understand why,but now i realized she probably wanted me and the other friend told my ex about it and that sparked problems between them, it got to the point she got my phone and saw that she was still talking to me.

 

Fast forward a few months in the summer my friends were going to the beach i chose not to go but i came to realize she was there with 2 guys and another girl, and my friend said he saw her and she acted like she didn't see him to say hi or anything, i started feeling like maybe she was with someone while she was with me as i was feeling from when her friend told me she moved on, but i didn't message her or say anything to her.

 

I went about 3 or 2 months without talking to her to the point i texted but got no reply, and my friend eventually started working where she worked and saw her and he said she looked as if she moved on and that i should too, at the end of summer she only added one pic to her Instagram and changed her profile pic a few times and this time around she didn't post and birthday pictures so maybe she didn't go out but it was annually that she usually posted her birthday when she went out. I was feeling hurt and stuck on her cause i still love her and want to be with her so i started checking her ig on a regular wondering what she up to and if she is out there with someone else, eventually my friend messaged her and she told him she moved on and that i gave up on us and that its unfair to her to want to reconcile, also she said she if i messaged again she would tell me to move on and that she did, and that she try not to contact me cause she wants to bury the emotions, i didn't know of this conversation between them and its about 7 months that have past following 2 week i posted a picture of another girls hand on my hand and when she saw it she blocked me from Instagram, i just let it happen and didn't do anything from it, i haven't contacted her, im wondering if its because she still has feelings for me maybe i could make her come back to me and we work things out, a friend said i should call her and talk to her after a week past cause i have nothing to lose, but he doesn't recommend it completely, i dont know what to do, but i still want to be with her.

[Satu]

When its over, its over, and acceptance is the only way forward.

 

 

“The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,

Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit

Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,

Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.”

 

 

― Omar Ahayyám, Rubai 51.

 

 

Take care.

[Pete2304]

It's gone mate, Totally and utterly. You will find many a friendly ear on here, I know I certainly have but yeah....I'm sorry but it's gone and you don't need

anyone here to tell you that, you just need to chat about it but I think you already know she's not coming back. Sorry bud.