Managing Potential Transition from Lovers to Couple with A Potential Future AP?

[sandylee1]

I think she's been honest and open with you here. She was upfront about her fiancée from the beginning. Her jealousy shows that polyamory isn't right for her. Although polyamory is more about all the individuals concerned having a relationship with each other.

 

So it's more of an open relationship with you guys. And open means more than one partner BTW.

[elaine567]

But why would she do that? If she just wanted to sleep around, why even bother with a guy like me? Why wouldn't she just keep things purely sexual? She could obviously do that if she wanted to, and she would have a lot more free time on her hands without me to see other guys.

 

Because most women, even women like her who are overtly seeking sexual experiences, are not all about sex.

 

Apparently it is the fiancé's idea to open up the relationship, so she may be going along with it because it is the cool and adult thing to do under the circumstances or because she loves him and doesn't want to lose him or because she was the one pushing him to do it...etc.etc. Who knows?.

BUT without the cosy monogamy she is used to and having effectively been cast out into the harsher world of NSA sex, she perhaps needs someone to cling to and that is where you come in.

BUT that doesn't necessarily mean you can take it as green for go and that if you stick around long enough she will eventually be your monogamous gf and all will be right with the world.

 

She seems to me to be a woman who is craving emotional attention wherever she can get it, and has many avenues set up to receive it from men, and I guess the alcohol to the point of blacking out is self medication and underneath it all she is not that happy or even stable.

Be careful. Take what she says with a pinch of salt.

She may actually just be a person who tells people what they want to hear, and she has just sussed out that you want a monogamous love everlasting type of relationship and that is just what she is giving you by talking the good talk. That is exactly how MM get their OW hooked too.

Note, MM also tend to not want their OW to see other men, so do not take her wanting you all to herself and not see other women as evidence she cares for you. She wants to be the most important thing in your life, that is all that is, do not make the mistake of thinking you are the most important person in her life, as that may not follow.