Sincerly-KK Posted September 24, 2016 Share Posted September 24, 2016 I'm really starting to dislike my husband, I been married for 7 yrs and it seems like me and my husband are just not connecting anymor. Tonight I told him lets go out to eat in a restaurant, I cook every night and I just wanted a night off, so he say well I'm not hungry so just find something at home, it's like everything I want to do we cant do it unless he agrees, I also feel like everything in this relationship is just for his benefit. When it comes to our sex life it's all about him I'll give him oral while he watches porn and then tells me that he is too tired for sex.. On the days we do have sex there is no foreplay he let me give him oral for about 15/20 minutes before intercouse then while we are at it he will cum in 5 minutes.. I feel so annoyed, I don't know if I'm just being a bitch and over reacting but idk how I should feel... Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted September 24, 2016 Share Posted September 24, 2016 You don't need his permission to eat. Take yourself out for dinner and let him find something to eat when he gets hungry. Stop giving him oral and when he complains let him know you will only give him oral after he gives you oral. Your husband is selfish but maybe he will smarten up a bit when you stand up for yourself. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 You don't need his permission to eat. Take yourself out for dinner and let him find something to eat when he gets hungry. Stop giving him oral and when he complains let him know you will only give him oral after he gives you oral. Your husband is selfish but maybe he will smarten up a bit when you stand up for yourself. This. You teach people how to treat you and I've come to believe that men are inherently selfish. They often need to be reminded to consider others while in a relationship. Sometimes this requires giving them a taste of their own medicine like anika99 is suggesting. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 When it comes to our sex life it's all about him I'll give him oral while he watches porn and then tells me that he is too tired for sex.. Setting aside your H's jerky selfishness, KK this is 100% on you. If he asked you to spank yourself so he could claim S&M at the same time, would you do it? You have to set your own boundaries and be willing to enforce them. Your H will respect you when you start respecting yourself... Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 (edited) You are not out of line at all. Everything you wrote is just simply ridiculous. How have you taken this for 7 years. Lets not ever talk about the sex, which is a complete joke. No, let's talk about it for a second. 5 minutes, IALMAO about that. Look I am just a regular guy, but in my lifetime, 52 years, I have never had sex with a woman that did not have multiple O's. Maybe just 2 sometimes if we were rushed. And I am no stud by any means. So there is that. He is selfish. If you talk to him and he does not start MC with you ASAP and get his sh** together, you need to FILE FOR DIVORCE. I have been an AH in my life before, but I have never treated a woman the way that you are allowing yourself to be treated. I can't even imagine it. Don't let yourself live in this type of situation. You are just wasting your life with this guy if he does not change. Edited October 1, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language~T 2 Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted September 26, 2016 Share Posted September 26, 2016 Was he always this lazy and self-centered or is this something that has come on over time? If he has always been like this, then he is simply a poor performer and a bottom feeder and your choice is whether to find a way to suck it up and live with it or pack up and leave for a new life. If this is something that has come on over time, it's because you have accepted it and allowed it to happen. There is good news and bad news with that. The good news is it may be possible to turn things around a little bit. The bad news is you may have to blow something up and take hostages to get him to take it seriously and change his ways. You may have to move out and serve him with papers before he realizes you mean business. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted September 27, 2016 Share Posted September 27, 2016 KK, I was married to someone like this so you have my sympathies. I only lasted 4 years before I put my foot down. I put up with this because I didn't know any better and had suffered from an abusive mother who made me feel like I was nothing and deserved nothing. I knew nothing about sex and was in a strange town with no friends. Other posters are right - we get treated how we allow people to treat us, so make a start now. Tell him you are sick of his selfish behaviour and he needs to start pulling his weight. (And don't think he doesn't know what he is doing because he does - just because he's selfish doesn't mean he's stupid. He will do one of two things, either; a. He'll step up to the plate and make an effort or b. Continue as he is, refuse to co-operate, come up with all sorts of excuses etc (My exH opted for an option c) have an affair If he goes for plan b (or c) you may have to accept that you'll lose the marriage. However, you don't have a lot to lose at the moment. Please don't waste any more of your time act now. I'm sorry x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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