Has my fiancé cheated?

[signal]

I am in desperate need of advice. I met my fiance around 11

Months ago and we fell for one another, we are due to have a big wedding in two weeks time. At the start of the relationship she said she was hurt badly in her last breakup and that her ex was trying to contact her. My fiancé told me last night that around 5 months ago she had messages from him asking to meet up. She said she wanted to get back at him for hurting her and that she agreed to meet him so she could turn him down and say no to his advances for sex (apparently he was pestering her for sex) she said she met him in a place they always went to have sex, in a service station area. She said she met him and they spoke and when he tried it she turned him down and said do you really think I am here for that and then he drove off. she told me that she messaged him for a week before they met and played along with him and said she was single (even though I had proposed) she says nothing happened and they didn't kiss or have sex, she just wanted him to feel bad so she could have the last laugh. I AM HEARTBROKEN as I'm due to marry her in two weeks, she said she had to tell me this as she is worried he's on the scene watching us and ready to contact me to say my fiancé is a cheat, that's why she's come out and said it. Now my stomach is churning and I have thoughts of her sleeping with him, I mean why would she meet him? Surely they did have sex? Why else would she tell me? I can not call this wedding off as its a big deal and the families will be distraught, I am in no mans land and have no one to speak to as this is too close to home. What shall I do? Do you think she cheated?

[BluesPower]

Yeah bud, she is lying. She screwed him for whatever reason.

 

This story is complete bulls***. She thinks that the ex will contact you and tell you the truth. So she is giving you this crap to cover her a**.

 

Wow, that just sucks. She is not marriage material and you know it.

 

Glad that you (you sound younger) as a young guy had sense enough to see through her crap.

 

Sorry that this happened. You need to end it, today and don't look back for a second.

[BluesPower]

Don't get married what ever you do. The families will just have to be disappointed, that is life.

 

She choose to do this knowing that you were getting married, so you can call the wedding off.

 

If not, you are starting your marriage off with a cheater. You do not want to do that. And actually, who knows how long she has been screwing her ex. He is probably pissed off that she did not already call off the wedding. So the last time they screwed that she lied about, he probably got pissed and told her he would break it off for her by telling you himself.

 

If you marry her you are a fool. This is not what you want to do.

 

Trust me on that one...

[signal]

Thank you for replying, I physically feel sick. I think your right, she is ****ting it that's why she's half told me what's going on. I don't know what to do, I need to verbally speak to someone, I'm thinking of telling my parents about the situation. This will **** up my family ... I can't believe she's done this, we are getting married in around twenty days

[signal]

Don't get married what ever you do. The families will just have to be disappointed, that is life.

 

She choose to do this knowing that you were getting married, so you can call the wedding off.

 

If not, you are starting your marriage off with a cheater. You do not want to do that. And actually, who knows how long she has been screwing her ex. He is probably pissed off that she did not already call off the wedding. So the last time they screwed that she lied about, he probably got pissed and told her he would break it off for her by telling you himself.

 

If you marry her you are a fool. This is not what you want to do.

 

Trust me on that one...

 

signal

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Join Date: Jun 2013

Posts: 32

Thank you for replying, I physically feel sick. I think your right, she is ****ting it that's why she's half told me what's going on. I don't know what to do, I need to verbally speak to someone, I'm thinking of telling my parents about the situation. This will **** up my family ... I can't believe she's done this, we are getting married in around twenty days

 

Shall I tell my parents or sort this out myself ??

[BluesPower]

Dude, you need to tell her parents and everyone else that you know.

 

Telling everyone will show them what a SL** she is. No one will think any less of you or expect you to marry her. Everyone will think you are a chump if you do marry this cheating woman.

 

I am guessing that you and your family have a little money? So she thinks that you can give her a more comfortable life while she screws her ex., and everyone else that she wants. Because he is the person that she actually likes to have sex with, not you.

 

You have been getting pity sex because you are willing to marry her.

 

You need to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks about you, and start thinking about how you are going to live with yourself if you marry this girl.

 

She has been playing you for a fool the whole time. It is not your fault that she sleeps around, it is her fault.

 

If someone wants to be upset, they can be upset at her.

 

You seriously need to grow a pair of balls and end this whole thing today. You need to expose all of this to everyone so that they actually know what she HAS BEEN DOING, for who knows how long.

 

No matter how much she cries, or what she tells you, she is lying to you. She has probably been lying to you the whole time you have know her.

 

How could you even consider marrying this woman and ruining your life?

[Survivor12]

Believe me, your family would not want you to marry a woman who has/is cheating on you. Tell them!

 

Her story makes absolutely no sense. If she wanted to get back at him, refusing to see him and letting him know that she was engaged to someone else would have done it.

 

Be very grateful that you found out now what a sleeze she is (sex in a "service station area"...ewww) before you married her. You have dodged a bullet, my friend.

[basil67]

I'll play devil's advocate and suggest that her story is true.

 

So, where does this leave you? About to marry a woman who isn't over her ex (she wouldn't care about revenge if she had no unresolved feelings for him) and who clearly has a very vengeful streak.

 

Imagine if you and she broke up after being married - she's the kind of woman who would try to leave you wth nothing as her form of revenge.

 

The way someone behaves towards their ex says a lot about how they woul deal with you in a similar circumstances.

 

Your fiancé is either a cheater or a very vengeful person. Either way, not a person you want to marry.

[basil67]

Oh and please don't rush out and tell everyone. Unless you can prove that she cheated, she could sue you for for slander. And besides, it would just make you look as vengeful as she is.

 

Rise above it.

[BluesPower]

basil67, you are being sarcastic, aren't you? You don't really think that there is any way, in this universe, that anything she says if true?

 

Please tell me that I just missed the sarcasm when I read your post the first time.

 

This guy absolutely needs to expose her to everyone and lose her for life, today.

[basil67]

basil67, you are being sarcastic, aren't you? You don't really think that there is any way, in this universe, that anything she says if true?

 

Please tell me that I just missed the sarcasm when I read your post the first time.

 

This guy absolutely needs to expose her to everyone and lose her for life, today.

 

My point is that even if she is being honest, she's still a nasty piece of work. It's a lose/lose situation for the OP.

 

And I stand by not making very public accusations without evidence or witnesses to the event. It could easily come back to bite.

[BluesPower]

While you may have a point, that she is a lose/lose situation.

 

I think exposing her is really the best option. If he is so concerned about appearances, which I don't get, he does not want everyone thinking that he dropped her for no reason.

 

We just probably have to disagree on that point.

[Microwave]

Fully agree with Basil, walk away from her but don't go throwing accusations around to anyone who'll listen.

 

Sorry if that's not the answer you want to hear but I hope you'll be ok

[Miss Clavel]

Thank you for replying, I physically feel sick. I think your right, she is ****ting it that's why she's half told me what's going on. I don't know what to do, I need to verbally speak to someone, I'm thinking of telling my parents about the situation. This will **** up my family ... I can't believe she's done this, we are getting married in around twenty days

 

do NOT tell your parents!

[ExpatInItaly]

They usually had sex...in a service station area? What the fresh hell?

 

OP, she cheated. And she's not over her ex at all. Don't marry her.

 

And next time, don't go from meeting to married within 11 months. You don't know a person in such a short time.

[DKT3]

do NOT tell your parents!

 

Why not?

 

They would surely ask why when he doesn't marry this woman.....please say your not marrying this woman.

[signal]

Everyone has valid points and this is a loose loose situation, I have been taken for a fool and my love that I gave her was taken as a joke. We have all heard of the saying taking kindness for a weakness. The thoughts I have running through my head right now ... How many more times has she met him just to

Keep him happy and to fulfil her desires, makes me

Want to vomit. The story does not add up, seeking revenge my telling him no she can't sleep with him that's bull****. And for her to tell

Me twenty days before our fairy tale wedding it's guilt, he's obviously still in touch and for her to tell me now clearly shows he's said to her he's going to

Try and tell me she's been seeing him, so she is covering her trails. This is far too depressing to say the very least

[Miss Clavel]

i swear, i'm the oddest person i know. with all you've poasted the one thing that stands out to me is, she likes sex outdoors. she's having sex in a "service station area"? around here that's where there is nothing but trash and dirt? did they have sex in the car while it went thru the car wash? wth?

 

 

 

 

if you decide to go forward, there is still time for a pre-nup, which is what this situation calls for.

 

 

 

good luck.

Edited September 26, 2016 by Miss Clavel

[dark_places]

That's a really ****ed-up situation, sorry But there's an upside: You didn't marry her yet. I don't know what to make of her story, it sounds like a whole lot of bull****, but you never know. That's why I agree with basil67, even on the off chance that her story is in fact true, it doesn't change the fact that she's someone anyone would want to marry. I mean, either way, she clearly isn't over him. And seeking revenge, if that is true, isn't an attractive trait in a person, is it?

There are so many reasons for NOT getting married:

- She probably cheated.

- If she didn't cheat, she is still hung up on her ex and has some personality traits that are really off-putting

- You've not even known her for a year, you didn't know about this guy - this tells me you know next to nothing about her. So why marry?

- You said you couldn't call the wedding off because of your family. You're getting married for yourself, not for them. If you wouldn't propose to her right now, then don't marry her, either! This is about you, not your family.

 

That said, I would strongly advise NOT to go around telling everyone she cheated on you. A, you don't have proof. B, exposing her like this would be vengeful, too, and almost equally despicable as her behavior. This is between you and her and maybe some close family/friends.

 

Good luck and I hope you have the strength to make a decision that's right for YOU.

[Friskyone4u]

There is absolutely no reason at all she should have been in touch with him for ANY reason. If that is incorrect, please tell me why you feel that way.

 

So this guy now knows that within weeks of her marrying you he can call her and get her to meet him, and you really think that even if her story is true ( and that is highly unlikely), he ain't going to disappear.

 

You just dodged a big time bullet even though it does not feel like that now. Pack her bags and send her on her merry way out of your life. And be a happy camper that you have no kids and bills getting in the way of you doing that.

 

And if you want to prove to yourself that you are making the right decision, just tell her she is taking a polygraph test to see if she did or did not have sex with him. That will answer your question in a New York second

[Frozensushi]

Having been cheated on Twice by 2 different women, I would say go with your gut. Both times it happened to me, I was told up and down there was no one else, only to eventually find out the painful truth.

 

The thing is, in both cases, for weeks I knew something was wrong. I was having anxiety about it. Like a personal alarm going off every time I thought about it. I will never mistrust my instincts again.

 

In this case, the writing is on the wall. Her story is just too lame. Either way, she's been lying to you. Even if she didn't cheat, what the hell? She's meeting up with an old flame to get back at him? Uh .... Nope. Sorry. None of it makes any sense = she's full of it.

[Satu]

Do not marry this woman.

 

No matter wether she cheated or not, she's not to be trusted.

 

She's also nowhere near over her ex.

 

 

Take care.

[BluesPower]

OP, I understand that you are hurting, believe me, many of us do.

 

The question is what are you going to do about it? You know that she does not love you, you know that she has been lying to you. We all know how much that hurts.

 

But what are you doing to do?

[Poutrew]

I completely agree with what all the other posters are saying> Do Not Marry Her! The reason she told you is because she is in damage control mode. She is afraid the other guy will tell you and she wants to minimize the damage. "Well, of course honey, the OM said we had steamy sex in the restroom of the Chevron station - he wants to break us up. Remember when I admitted to you I just wanted revenge, wel , he wants revenge as well. Now Hunny Bunny, you believe me, right? I'll swear on a stack of bibles nothing happened. Now, let's seal the deal and get married - our guests don't want to be disappointed and the Caviar is spoiling..."

 

There is more than spoiled fish eggs that smell fishy in this woman's cover story...

[Crila16]

You might want to rethink marrying her in 2 weeks. If she's even thinking about getting back at her ex for revenge, she still has feelings for him. The opposite of Love is not Hate...it's Apathy. If she hates him...she still has feelings. The desire for revenge is driven by her emotions. Whether she cheated or not...she's cheating in her heart. She's not 100% into it with you, and you deserve to find someone who loves you with their whole heart.

 

I have an ex who ripped my heart out 3 years ago. I don't even think about him. I now have absolutely no desire to get back at him. My current ex that broke up with me 6 weeks ago...I want him to rot in the gutter, and I can't wait to have his car repo'd.