Hades25 Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 Hi everyone .... I was hoping I could get some opinions on a few things... I've been dating this girl for several months now and things have been going pretty good .. we were kinda shaky at first 'cause we had both gotten out of long relationships ( she was married ). Just recently , out of the blue, she says she doesnt think things btwn us are going to work out..... I say "Why wont it work, is it me?" She hesitates at this point (which has me worried thinking its something I have done) and then tells me she isnt ready for a relationship or even to date anyone.....Then tells me she may never want to be in a relationship or married again. She says she wants to just be friends and talk on occasion. I really , really like this girl and would like to someday see her again. Should I be worried about all she has said ? Is it her past marriage that has upset her? Is it me , maybe, and she just doesnt want to tell me? She's very sensitive and I dont want to say anything to scare her away. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 Yes HADES25. I will refer you to a thread i started a few days ago. Please examine item #1 on the list in the original topic post. good luck http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?threadid=66170 Link to post Share on other sites
JS17 Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 I would say most of the time if a woman says she doesn't want a relationship, she just doesn't want a relationship with you. However, in my personal experience, recently I feel like I've been run over by a relationship truck. I went through a bad break up in the beginning of the year and am now on my third guy since then. I've come to realize that I'm not myself and I need to find myself again before I get into a relationship....even if the greatest guy in the world were to come knocking on my door. I'm going to tell the guy that I'm seeing right now, a good guy that i really do like, that i'm not ready for a relationship and would like to maintain our friendship until I am ready. The bottom line is she may or may not want a relationship with you somewhere down the line but there's no question that right now she doesn't want one. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 Originally posted by JS17 The bottom line is she may or may not want a relationship with you somewhere down the line but there's no question that right now she doesn't want one. Well JS17, why not also give the whole story...women know pretty quickly if they want to be with a dude. If she does not want him now then the odds of her ever wanting him are close to zero. You know it and I know it. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 Don't worry about scaring her away... she's already gone. Link to post Share on other sites
JS17 Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 Listen closely cause you will probably never hear this again....I agree with alphamale....the odds aren't in your favor but, hey, you never know. I think you're close on the other thing...women know pretty quickly if there's a dude they will NEVER EVER want to be with...sometimes you guys grow on us though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hades25 Posted July 8, 2005 Author Share Posted July 8, 2005 Well it doesnt make any sense that she wants to be gone ... I felt that attraction and I know she also felt it ... You know when someone digs you and she definitely was into me .... You guys arent getting my hopes up alphamale I read your post ... #1 is the only symptom she has ... does that still means she doesnt want me ... Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Originally posted by Hades25 alphamale I read your post ... #1 is the only symptom she has ... does that still means she doesnt want me ... you only need one of the nine HADES25. if you really really truly and genuinely wanted a woman to be your girlfriend then would you say to her "ahh, yeah....i'm really not looking for a relationship right now!" Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hades25 Posted July 8, 2005 Author Share Posted July 8, 2005 see thats not true... I dont really want one right now either ...and I dont want to not see her anymore...... I just want to date also.....so that theory isnt very valid Link to post Share on other sites
JS17 Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 i don't think any relationship is as cut and dry as a list. i think you need to understand both of your situations and see what happens. what's clear is that she needs space right now and you need to give it to her if you want to have any chance with her. Link to post Share on other sites
scratch Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Originally posted by Hades25 see thats not true... I dont really want one right now either ...and I dont want to not see her anymore...... I just want to date also.....so that theory isnt very valid You're missing the point. You might not want a relationship with her at the moment, but you would never risk turning her off by sticking that fact in her face. Since she doesn't want a relationship. maybe she just is looking for a fun sexual fling. Ask her for that and see what she says, and you'll find out exactly how valid Alpha's theory is. Link to post Share on other sites
A Fly onThe Wall Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Originally posted by Hades25 and then tells me she isnt ready for a relationship or even to date anyone.....Then tells me she may never want to be in a relationship or married again. Believe her and take her at her word. She was honest enough to blow you off nicely.. You have to know when to fold and walk away Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall Believe her and take her at her word. She was honest enough to blow you off nicely.. You have to know when to fold and walk away agreed A.F.O.T.W.! There are only two times that you should take a woman at her word: 1) When she says she does not want a relationship or to see you 2) When she says "no" to sex Everything else they say is bullsheeyot filled with mixed messages and double-entendres and whatever else and changing their mind the next minute., blah blah Link to post Share on other sites
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