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Past experiences that haunts me


Sourpiss

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Hey people.. Need some advise.

 

I've been with my gf for about 3-4 yrs. the initial years, we were deeply in love and soon I took her for granted and started not addressing to her emotional needs. Recently this year, a doctor from her workplace started chasing after her and she played along. I would consider that as emotional infidelity as she will send sweet texts to him. I found out by reading her emails and text. I become paranoid and started camping at her place just to "catch" them. She found out about my actions. We had an argument and we kinda took a week of time off.

 

After awhile, I asked her to choose and she chose to be with me. But because of what happened, my trust for her is gone and I started doubting whatever she says. Soon, I found that she and her group of friends went wake boarding, the doctor was there. I confronted her and she said that she wouldn't tell me as she's afraid that I Will be pissed. I Asked her to call the doctor and tell him that it's over between them.

 

Few weeks ago, I found out that the same doc was calling her. This time, she changed his name so that I couldn't recognize. Looking at her call logs, the doc have been calling her almost daily. Much more than me. I confronted her and gave her the last warning.

 

Due to all these incidents, I am always haunted by the fact that she lied. She admit that she loves me, but, felt weird expressing her love for me. Also, she said that she's unable to empathize with how and what I'm going through. She wanted me to give her trust. Verbally I said yes. But deep down, I have my reservations. Last night, she told me that she's meeting her female friend for dinner. I was suspicious and called up her friend's workplace to verify as she said the workplace will be closed. However, the place was opened and I was furious. Charged with emotions, I didn't check who was I talking to. I called her and confronted her. She claims that she was indeed with her friends and I could have checked with her. She was disappointed and wanted time off to cool it and re-evaluated our r/s. So far, I'm the one always proposing a break when she isn't.

 

I'm very confused by her actions and unable to stomach the uncertainty. The fear that she will lie to me again made me paranoid and suspicious. I have been having nightmares about her cheating for many nights. Could anyone advise what can I do now that wanted time off and wants me to trust her? I don't know how to let go of what happened and certainly can understand why is she not willing to do anything to repair this r/s.

Thank you

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It looks like you taking her for granted has killed off any remaining feelings she had for you. I'm not sure why she chose you instead of him. Perhaps some type of guilt thing on her part?

 

You may as well end it.

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